Informal Recruitment

[ISUKiteFlyer]

Originally Posted by valmypal

It talked a lot about small activities with a few sisters and really getting to know girl before asking them to join.

When I COB'd this is what the three houses I visited did... (setting: mid-western state U. in the 90s.) I ate dinner at the houses at least once, usually with a house tour following. (Don't be afraid to NOT put this first. Doing something out-of-house with a couple of actives is a great first 'event' to warm up to. But it's ok if that's how it works out.) One house invited me to basketball games to hang out (they bought the tickets). With every house, I was always with the same active at each event, and usually one of their friends. With XYZ house, my pairing would have become my Big. At a second house, it actually turned out to be the informal rush chairman (who LOVED her position).

The house I joined had a game of "Clue" with a small group of PNMs, with each PNM paired up with an active (that familiar face!) so she wouldn't get lost in the house and I remember there being a lot of actives hanging out in their rooms. I got to meet a lot of girls that way, and got more familiar with the house, although it could be intimidating (or in the eyes of the paranoid, hazing, so be sure to dot all i's before doing this). I would recommend having a couple of events with each PNM before playing a game in a group like this, it makes it more comfortable and less overwhelming if there's a familiar face or three to "anchor" to.

Be cautious of dropping girls over semester break. My timing for COB wasn't probably the best, but picking things "back up" after 5 weeks of classes doesn't look good. I'm assuming what happened in my particular case is rare, but I thought I'd throw that out there.

It's all about keeping it low key and making the PNM feel comfortable yet special. As a COB, I wanted to see behind all the polish and frill of Formal. I wanted to see what the chapters were REALLY like on a day-to-day basis, and to see if I connected. I visited one house during dead week (see above note about not-so-great timing) and that let me see a lot. (Looking back, I'm surprised they had me...)

On the other side of COB, I remember going along with a rush group (sorry, 90s term...), and playing chess at a coffee shop with my now-bff. It just so happened we clicked, and her pairing assignment not as much. Again, stating the obvious, but if that happens, let it.

Good luck!