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Unfortunately, our sistas are in a conumdrum not of their making. The "strong black woman/independent woman" complex is a necessary mechanism for dealing with the numerical imbalance of eligible men who fit the proper socio-economic/lifestyle criteria that is the right of similarly situated women. Couple this with the dearth of proper male role models and negative experiences of family members and peers, it is easy to see why so many get caugt in this Catch-22. As Original Ape has stated, most men appreciate a woman who can do for self. What "real men" don't want to hear is the underlying attitude of "I don't need you" or "I'm above you", or "I can do without you".
Our Black sistas get saddled with the extra bagge of having to be emotionally tough and to guard their vulneabilities to the point of becoming unapproachable, cold, indifferent, or difficult. For the Brotha that has many options (the one most desirable to the black female), this attitude can be very off-putting. Brothas who don't feel the need to be challenged will simply move on.
To touch on another OA point, as long as 2/3 of all black college students continue to be women, as long as over 70% of teenage girls grow up in a female headed home, and as long as brothas continue to fight themselves, their women, the police, racism,and the lure of criminality, the Black woman will always have the need to be "independent" for their mere survival. The fallout is that this very independence many times upsets the delicate balance that is the basis for succssful male/female relationships.
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