I really have disagree with Carnation about the "forced" prefs. I wouldn't have before, but I recently finished my time as a Recruitment Counselor and realized why making girls attend the maximum amount of parties is a good thing.
Specifically, I had one girl in my group who in Round 3 got invited back to three parties. Being that there aren't a ton of sororities on our campus, my partner and I had made the prediction that this girl would fit in best at ABC from day one. Well, from round one, she was in love with XYZ. All she talked about was how wonderful XYZ was, how much she loved them, etc. When we presented her with her invitations to Round 3, she was excited about XYZ, but annoyed that she had to go to ABC and DEF. Anyway, after Round 3, she was still 100% XYZ, but liked ABC and DEF a little more. For Prefs, she was invited back to XYZ and ABC. She was thrilled about the first one. All she wanted in the world was XYZ, and again, she was a little annoyed about having to go to ABC.
Once prefs were over, this girl flagged my partner and I down, crying. She didn't know what to do. My partner ended up talking to her for over an hour about where she felt most at home, where did she feel she fit in best, who could she see spending the next 4+ years with, to ignore what's best for her friend and do what's best for her, etc. She ended up signing her pref card with ABC as her first choice and recieved a bid to that house. This might sound like an isolated instance, but this happened to two girls in my group of 14. While my partner was counseling one girl, I spent nearly two hours with another, who wan't interested in the house she is now a new member of until after pref. Neither of these girls really realized how serious of a decision it was until Pref night - they were listening to rumors, wanting to stay with their friends, and falling for superficial things like pretty decorations and big houses. On Pref night, not only do PNMs start realizing how serious of a decision it is, but they really realize that they would not be at a chapter's pref unless that chapter saw something in them.
So "forcing" girls to go to pref, in my opinion, is not the worst thing in the world. If they absolutely do not want to be in that chapter, they can attend pref, be polite, and SIP on their card.
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