What if you never get married? - Page 7

uwkappa · #91 01-24-2005, 01:03 AM

whoa shyviolet...that seems realllllly resigned...and really a cat, cottage with a water view and an awesome job AND the letters PhD after your name sound pretty good to me! I'd prefer that to gym socks on my bedroom floor! i think its awesome you're working on a phd! you might meet mr right at 30 or 35 or tomorrow....i think you have a great life ahead of you and even though i'm sure you'll love again i'm also sure that singledom isn't a bad place...and never settle!

ShyViolet · #92 01-25-2005, 05:23 PM

I never said there was anything wrong with getting my PhD, hell I can't wait to be able to wear the lovely blue robe and be introduced as Doctor for the first time.

I guess all I'm saying is that I can't base my life around something that might not happen. If it happens, great, my prince charming can come live in my cottage with the kitty. hehehe. But if not, then I'm content with that too (it just took awhile to get used to the idea). It's not like I'm dead, I still go out with friends on a regular basis, I just a cynic.

AKA_Monet · #93 01-25-2005, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ShyViolet
I never said there was anything wrong with getting my PhD, hell I can't wait to be able to wear the lovely blue robe and be introduced as Doctor for the first time.
I guess all I'm saying is that I can't base my life around something that might not happen. If it happens, great, my prince charming can come live in my cottage with the kitty. hehehe. But if not, then I'm content with that too (it just took awhile to get used to the idea). It's not like I'm dead, I still go out with friends on a regular basis, I just a cynic.

Don't discount yourself just yet... I use to resign myself to your thinking even after I got my Ph.D. But, then it happened so fast, I met somebody, dated him for a bit, then married him... And so now, I am married...

If you want to get married, you will... It may be in a different timeframe than what you anticipated... But it will come...

However, if you want children and you are under 35, I would seriously suggest harvesting your eggs before it gets too late, like it did for me... Then you don't have to have the "rigamaroll" of infertility and biological clock explosions when you actually do meet that special someone...

mu_agd · #94 03-24-2005, 04:53 PM

If I never get married, I'm moving to LA and bunking on amycat's couch.

aggieAXO · #95 03-24-2005, 05:32 PM

ahhh marriage, a dream within a dream (I think that is how the Princess Bride line went?)

I have no plans (and no prospects) to get married ands it annoys me when people say -you'll find someone, you will get married etc.
It would be nice to find someone to share my life with but i will not settle (I see so many people do this). If it happens-great, if it doesn't then so be it-I already have the cats

. Besides it is difficult to find a man that likes opossums, vultures, owls, birds of any kind etc...as much as I do (unless I marry another vet which isn't likely going to happen).

I do agree with you Valkyrie-I see many young women say I can't do this or that until I get married. There is a woman I work with that is 25 years old and met her current boyfriend through a friend over the internet. She has already picked out the wedding dress and he hasn't even asked her to marry him. He won't return her calls half the time (she was complaining about this a couple of weeks ago). She is so focued on marriage that she doesn't even care about how he is treating her. It is sad to see her obsess about this guy (she is definitely an example of the extreme). I feel sorry for her-her life is not going the way she had planned (marriage, kids etc..). She needs to stop focusing on this guy and get an education so she can move out of her parents house. Unfortunately, she is so focued on the idea that a man will be taking care of her - what if it never happens?

Another friend was so focused on marrying a man with $$. She did -3 years ago. He makes very good money and they have a very nice lifestyle but they no longer sleep on the same floor of the house. His personality reminds me of Scott Peterson-scarry.

Optimist Prime · #96 03-26-2005, 12:28 AM

IF i NEver get MARried, tHEn that IS whAT MON-IS-taries are 4

CarolinaDG · #97 03-30-2005, 01:38 PM

I have found the love of my life in my 5 month old Jack Russell Terrier. But I still think she has the best deal... gets fixed so that she'll never have to think about boys!

Seriously, though, I'm seeing a great guy right now, but it will NEVER turn into marriage, and I'm all right with that. If I find someone else that I actually want to marry, that's cool, but until then I'm having a great time!

chopperLI905 · #98 03-30-2005, 02:40 PM

I feel that if the Army wanted me to have a wife, they would issue me one at boot camp.

blueangel · #99 04-12-2005, 09:00 AM

Good article on being single and loving it:

Single & loving it
Unmarrieds find happiness and fulfillment in living alone.

By Courtenay Edelhart
courtenay.edelhart@indystar.com
March 20, 2005

Like a lot of people, Donna Shumar assumed she'd be married by her 30s.

Now she's 44, nowhere near getting hitched, and OK with that.

"It's not that I haven't had opportunities over the years," she said. "But I'd rather be happily single than unhappily married. I have a lot of friends who've been married and divorced already. I'd rather wait and make the correct decision."

http://www.indystar.com/articles/9/230459-2209-047.html

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #**100** 04-12-2005, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by chopperLI905
I feel that if the Army wanted me to have a wife, they would issue me one at boot camp.

But who makes you pie?

Rudey · #**101** 04-13-2005, 12:00 PM

You have a pet vulture and are a bird woman?

I'm gonna be honest with you because honesty is what people need. I think if you're kinda old and have lots of cats, people think you're a lonely loser but feel sympathy for you. It's when you own birds, vultures, and owls that you get a starring role in movies as the really crazy lady and kids are scared of you.

So consider that and find a husband OK?

-Rudey
--Just joking

Quote:

Originally posted by aggieAXO
ahhh marriage, a dream within a dream (I think that is how the Princess Bride line went?)

I have no plans (and no prospects) to get married ands it annoys me when people say -you'll find someone, you will get married etc.
It would be nice to find someone to share my life with but i will not settle (I see so many people do this). If it happens-great, if it doesn't then so be it-I already have the cats . Besides it is difficult to find a man that likes opossums, vultures, owls, birds of any kind etc...as much as I do (unless I marry another vet which isn't likely going to happen).

I do agree with you Valkyrie-I see many young women say I can't do this or that until I get married. There is a woman I work with that is 25 years old and met her current boyfriend through a friend over the internet. She has already picked out the wedding dress and he hasn't even asked her to marry him. He won't return her calls half the time (she was complaining about this a couple of weeks ago). She is so focued on marriage that she doesn't even care about how he is treating her. It is sad to see her obsess about this guy (she is definitely an example of the extreme). I feel sorry for her-her life is not going the way she had planned (marriage, kids etc..). She needs to stop focusing on this guy and get an education so she can move out of her parents house. Unfortunately, she is so focued on the idea that a man will be taking care of her - what if it never happens?

Another friend was so focused on marrying a man with $$. She did -3 years ago. He makes very good money and they have a very nice lifestyle but they no longer sleep on the same floor of the house. His personality reminds me of Scott Peterson-scarry.

cashmoney · #**102** 04-14-2005, 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
I'm noticing more and more comments young women make here and there involving getting married and/or having kids someday. I'm not trying to pick on anyone at all, but examples include saying something like I don't want to get a tattoo that could be visible in a wedding dress, or I don't want to get something monogrammed because I'll get married and change my name someday (and by "I" I don't mean me, of course, lol).

But what if it never happens? Sure, most people get married, but it's not guaranteed. What if you don't meet the man of your dreams? Will you settle for someone who's just okay because getting married is so important, or would you rather be single until and unless you meet someone so awesome you can't imagine spending the rest of your life without him? Isn't it presumptuous to assume it will happen?

The same goes for having kids. "When I have kids I'll..." is fine and all, but what if you don't? How can anyone assume it will happen? What if you never meet the right person, or what if one of you can't have kids? Will you adopt? What will you do?

I don't mean to be raining on anyone's parade, but it seems troubling that young women are putting so much thought into some future thing that might or might not ever happen. Yes, chances are, you will get married someday, but if you're not even dating someone you might want to marry now, why even think about it or plan for it?

Hey, don't cast doubt in their minds just because you're too fucked up in the head to ever get married again after your first marriage failed.

-haha

1908Revelations · #**103** 05-23-2007, 09:06 PM

TTT

1908Revelations · #**104** 05-23-2007, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu

I agree. It's kind of like saying middle schoolers should be discouraged from talking about "when I go to college..." because they might not get in.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Don't discount yourself just yet... I use to resign myself to your thinking even after I got my Ph.D. But, then it happened so fast, I met somebody, dated him for a bit, then married him... And so now, I am married...

If you want to get married, you will... It may be in a different timeframe than what you anticipated... But it will come...

However, if you want children and you are under 35, I would seriously suggest harvesting your eggs before it gets too late, like it did for me... Then you don't have to have the "rigamaroll" of infertility and biological clock explosions when you actually do meet that special someone...

I agree.

When I first read the title of this post I think my heart skipped a beat, but seroiusly there is nothing wrong with having thoughts geared toward the future.

ETA
But if I don't....life does go on!

KSUViolet06 · #**105** 05-24-2007, 10:44 AM

If I never get married, I'd still have a fulfilling life. I'd still do all the things I plan on doing. My goals in life (adopting kids, getting my Masters, etc) are not contingent upon whether or not I get married.

The women who are unmarried and miserable are those who have decided that,unless they are married, certain things cannot happen. For example, I've heard girls say that they don't want to do this or that until they get married (i.e. "I want to wait until after I get married to get my Masters, so my hubby can support me while I go back to school"). So that means, if you never get married, then you'll never get an advanced degree, and you'll eventually regret trying planning your career around a marriage that never happened.