Sounds like you're basically confused about wording. Here's some definitions --
~ a bid during informal rush isn't binding. That means XYZ sorority gives you a bid, which might say something like, "The Sisters of XYZ Sorority Extend To You A Bid of Sisterhood," and you have the OPTION of weather to accept or decline the bid. Usually you have 24 hours to decide. NPC lets you postphone the bid for 1 year, I think, where you can tell XYZ you want to join but not actually join until the next year. During informal rush you can receive as many bids as the sororities want to give you.
~ a bid during formal rush is binding. You only get one. You accept that bid or you don't join a sorority that year. You can also defer for a year, I think.
The lists are for formal rush. If XYZ sorority has 50 girls come to their preference party (which means XYZ would be OK with having any of the 50 girls join the sisterhood) they rank the girls at the end of the party. That means they'd like Melissa to join the most, so they put her at the top of their list.
Now, if Melissa went to a preference party at XYZ but also at ABC, and she felt like she belonged at ABC, she might list ABC first on her preference list.
In this way sororities rank potential members, AND potential members rank sororities. The lists are crossed, and girls are matched with sororities they ranked high on their lists, and vice versa.
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