Considering quitting

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by 33girl

She is saying the opposite - that she might only have (example) 9 credits when a full time student has 12 and therefore her group's policy may compel her to become an alum while still an undergrad, even if that was something she didn't want.

Oops. I completely misread. Thanks!

[FSUZeta]

STICK IT OUT!

I think it is a part frustration and part senioritis, but like the others have said, the alumnae world is so different-less time consuming, less drama, less competition. Most of the time it doesn't matter what chapter you are a member of in the alumnae world-you are a sister, and that is all that matters. Heck, the majority of us get excited when we see a sorority member period, be she a sorority sister or Panhellenic sister, and alumnae Panhellenic chapters are very welcoming. You will be missing out on wonderful opportunities of support and connections if you throw in the towel.

If you take below the required minimum hours set by your sorority you may indeed have the option of taking early alum status, so we are talking a matter of mere weeks before that might happen. You can make it until Christmas, right?

[ree-Xi]

If you don't carry a full load next semester, that takes care of things for you in a way - don't you need to be full time to be active? There might be something you can do. Talk to your advisers or regional representatives.

[greekanon]

Thank you for the encouragement everyone! I definitely needed it right now. I'll stick it out, and probably take 33girl's advice and lay low. I'm really looking forward to experiencing alumnae membership, it was a big factor for me in choosing to join a sorority actually. For now I'll uphold my organizations values to the best of my ability, and see what my options are next semester.

[AOIILisa]

Originally Posted by greekanon

Thank you for the encouragement everyone! I definitely needed it right now. I'll stick it out, and probably take 33girl's advice and lay low. I'm really looking forward to experiencing alumnae membership, it was a big factor for me in choosing to join a sorority actually. For now I'll uphold my organizations values to the best of my ability, and see what my options are next semester.

Great! Just take it one day at a time. When you're in college, a year seems like such a long time, but if you can get through this, you'll be fine. Try to see the bigger picture if you can!

[FSUZeta]

FYI, my daughter is a young alum, newly married, and living in a town where she knows few people. She is already realizing the value of joining an alumnae chapter and has also joined the alumnae Panhellenic. She asked me to tell you to try to stick it out.

[Phigirl04]

You've been given great advice. It's been ten years since my initiation and the bonds I've already made as an alumnae have been amazing. I recently moved and being able to become a part of the alumnae advisory board of a chapter and an alumnae group have helped me find a place when I initially moved knowing no one in the area. There are so many benefits to the life long part of your membership that one semester should not ruin that.

Your last year is hard because you begin distancing yourself from a lot of your normal college pursuits and focusing on your future and where you'll be after graduation. Lay low, maintain the friendships you have and value and focus on enjoying your last semester.

[ComradesTrue]

I've moved 7 different times since graduation across 3 different states. Most of those moves I met new friends through my job, but the most recent move (and last for us) was with a 6 month old when it was determined that I would become a stay-at-home mom. The best friends that I have made in this town are ones that I met through my alumnae chapter. Twenty years ago I never, ever would have fathomed the impact that my sorority membership would have had on my life. I can honestly say that the past 7 years as a alumna have had just as an important impact in my life as my 4 years as a collegian. I can not imagine my life without the friends that I have made in this town through my alumnae chapter.

Hang in there for a few more months. It is SO worth it!

[AZTheta]

I sent you a PM.

[Smile_Awhile]

For what it's worth, there's a lot of good advice in this thread: http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...=112480&page=2

I did start it, but I really appreciated all the advice given.

[Nanners52674]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Okay, replace "pay dues" with "attend chapter" or whatever else you associate with remaining a member in good standing. The point is that I'm not aware of a single NPC organization that allows this just because someone is dissatisfied with her chapter. It's bandied about on GC like an obvious solution, and to the best of my knowledge, it's very, very rare.

My chapter had a specific ammendment in our Constitution addressing the different member statuses and their requirements.

It was mostly used by last semester seniors with internships or other large academic projects.

However there were sisters who used it simply to distance themselves from the chapter and the reason it was allowed is because the girls who would petition for this simply because they're sick of the sorority but still want to be am alum.

Honestly it got approved everytime because no one wanted to force someone who didn't want to be there, to be there.

*Dues still have to be paid in all of these situations.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by Nanners52674

My chapter had a specific ammendment in our Constitution addressing the different member statuses and their requirements.

It was mostly used by last semester seniors with internships or other large academic projects.

However there were sisters who used it simply to distance themselves from the chapter and the reason it was allowed is because the girls who would petition for this simply because they're sick of the sorority but still want to be am alum.

Honestly it got approved everytime because no one wanted to force someone who didn't want to be there, to be there.

*Dues still have to be paid in all of these situations.

If dues still had to be paid, was the difference in attendance requirements? Because I know there are chapters that require less of seniors and so on, but I'd be surprised if national organizations weren't requiring women in college to remain collegiate members until they leave or graduate. My point here is that alum status pretty much means you have no further obligations to your collegiate chapter, and it gets bandied around on GC far too often.

(And yes, my org has an "interim" status for women with personal emergencies or internships far from campus, but it is not granted without good reason and it's certainly not "alum.")

[als463]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

If dues still had to be paid, was the difference in attendance requirements? Because I know there are chapters that require less of seniors and so on, but I'd be surprised if national organizations weren't requiring women in college to remain collegiate members until they leave or graduate. My point here is that alum status pretty much means you have no further obligations to your collegiate chapter, and it gets bandied around on GC far too often.

(And yes, my org has an "interim" status for women with personal emergencies or internships far from campus, but it is not granted without good reason and it's certainly not "alum.")

Your GLO does actually offer early alum status for particular situations. I know because I've had friends who have taken it during a particularly tumultuous time on their campus regarding certain events. I won't go into detail but, it can be done. If the case of the one poster who said money is still expected but, sisters are not forced to come to events, I think that sounds like a decent idea to keep membership. I wonder if more GLOs offered that, they would actually keep people from terminating membership as often? I just wish we could get ladies to realize that membership is for a lifetime. I think early alumna status should be considered for various reasons but, not in the case of the other thread where the young woman is on the brink of losing membership. Too many people offered up the early alumna status thing as if she even has a choice. When they want to kick you out for poor/ risky behaviors, chances are you will not be given early alumna status.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by als463

If the case of the one poster who said money is still expected but, sisters are not forced to come to events, I think that sounds like a decent idea to keep membership. I wonder if more GLOs offered that, they would actually keep people from terminating membership as often? I just wish we could get ladies to realize that membership is for a lifetime.

My issue is with the idea that senioritis or burn-out or what-have-you should be a reason to jump right to alumnae status. How is that fair to the women who remain and contribute to the chapter while Suzie Snowflake just doesn't want to anymore?

Sure, there are extreme circumstances that organizations should be flexible with. I think, for example, my chapter allowed live-outs if you got married or pregnant. Fine. Extreme financial hardship? Illness? Okay, let's find ways to work with women so we can keep them as lifelong members. But the ones who want to go "early alum" just because? Nah.

Perhaps the solution is for chapters to take a look at the obligations for seniors, on the whole (and maybe that's what you are suggesting above?). If individual chapters decide to lower attendance requirements for all seniors or let seniors live out of the house, or whatever, that's cool; that's what works for them. For example, in larger chapters, if you have enough women to fill all the committees with sophomores and juniors, then maybe you don't require seniors to be on a committee. In my own chapter, seniors didn't have to attend all of recruitment work week...they could show up on Wednesday already knowing the songs and stuff from previous years.

But if your chapter needs seniors to attend events, be on committees, and so on, because it doesn't have enough people to operate otherwise, then I don't support the idea of ducking out. I don't think it's worth it to allow that just so that we have someone as an alumnae member later on.

[als463]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

My issue is with the idea that senioritis or burn-out or what-have-you should be a reason to jump right to alumnae status. How is that fair to the women who remain and contribute to the chapter while Suzie Snowflake just doesn't want to anymore?

Sure, there are extreme circumstances that organizations should be flexible with. I think, for example, my chapter allowed live-outs if you got married or pregnant. Fine. Extreme financial hardship? Illness? Okay, let's find ways to work with women so we can keep them as lifelong members. But the ones who want to go "early alum" just because? Nah.

Perhaps the solution is for chapters to take a look at the obligations for seniors, on the whole (and maybe that's what you are suggesting above?). If individual chapters decide to lower attendance requirements for all seniors or let seniors live out of the house, or whatever, that's cool; that's what works for them. For example, in larger chapters, if you have enough women to fill all the committees with sophomores and juniors, then maybe you don't require seniors to be on a committee. In my own chapter, seniors didn't have to attend all of recruitment work week...they could show up on Wednesday already knowing the songs and stuff from previous years.

But if your chapter needs seniors to attend events, be on committees, and so on, because it doesn't have enough people to operate otherwise, then I don't support the idea of ducking out. I don't think it's worth it to allow that just so that we have someone as an alumnae member later on.

Yep. I was trying to suggest something like that but, didn't consider the smaller chapters. With that, you are absolutely right. I think National/ International Headquarters of the various GLOs would benefit from thinking about seniors or 5th year seniors based on campus total. At smaller commuter schools where 30 women make up an entire chapter, this idea of allowing seniors to duck out because they are "sick of" being sisters would not work. In larger chapters, this may help. I would argue though, that even in smaller chapters, if sisters have to choose between being there for everything as seniors or completely dropping, chapters face an issue with some seniors possibly dropping out--making it just as bad if not worse than allowing them less time to do stuff as a senior in the sorority.

I think this is a worthwhile discussion for various GLOs when we push commitment of sorority membership. While it is for a lifetime, we must also remember that senior year is a time where young ladies are cementing their futures by completing class requirements, preparing applications for graduate/ professional school, preparing for active or reserve military commitments, job hunting, etc. A senior's time commitments look much different than the commitments of freshmen, sophomores, and juniors. Adding other things onto this last year of college may make it difficult for young ladies with tons of stuff already on their plates. I'm not saying we should allow them to shirk their duties. I'm saying we need to all take this into consideration.