Rushing Again

southernman33 · #1 09-23-2014, 04:48 AM

Hey guys I am new to this community and I could really use some advice.

Last spring I rushed and received a bid to one of my school's top fraternities. I was having a great time in the fraternity: making friends with all of my pledge bros, partying, and getting advice from the older members. After about three weeks I was dropped because I had cheated on a test the day before. I had immediately apologized for cheating, but I did not explain that I did not have time to study as I had been visiting my sick brother in the hospital which caused a lot to be on my mind. After I was given the boot, one of my pledge bros who was the starting center at this D-1 school came and gave me a big hug and said it could have happened to anyone (because everyone was cheating but I was the first one caught). People were later caught cheating on tests but were not given the boot.

With that as my back story, do you think I should bother rushing this fraternity again? Again, any and all advice is greatly appreciated.

Sen's Revenge · #2 09-23-2014, 05:59 AM

Beloved brother friend,

If they caught others cheating but kept them, this says to me that they ultimately didn't want you and just wanted a reason to drop you. Unfortunately, you gave them that reason.

If you try again, that is your decision. But know that a second chance is not owed to you.

AZTheta · #3 09-23-2014, 05:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by southernman33

Hey guys I am new to this community and I could really use some advice.

Last spring I rushed and received a bid to one of my school's top fraternities. I was having a great time in the fraternity: making friends with all of my pledge bros, partying, and getting advice from the older members. After about three weeks I was dropped because I had cheated on a test the day before. I had immediately apologized for cheating, but I did not explain that I did not have time to study as I had been visiting my sick brother in the hospital which caused a lot to be on my mind. After I was given the boot, one of my pledge bros who was the starting center at this D-1 school came and gave me a big hug and said it could have happened to anyone (because everyone was cheating but I was the first one caught). People were later caught cheating on tests but were not given the boot.

With that as my back story, do you think I should bother rushing this fraternity again? Again, any and all advice is greatly appreciated.

qfp

southernman33 · #4 09-23-2014, 08:16 AM

Thanks.

southernman33 · #5 09-23-2014, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sen's Revenge

Beloved brother friend,

If they caught others cheating but kept them, this says to me that they ultimately didn't want you and just wanted a reason to drop you. Unfortunately, you gave them that reason.

If you try again, that is your decision. But know that a second chance is not owed to you.

Sen's Revenge - this was my impression as well, but I really got along with every member except for our senior adviser. I can't think of anything I did to him he just didn't like me. Could those two put together have been enough to kick me out?

AZTheta · #6 09-23-2014, 10:46 AM

You do not know what was said about you behind closed doors, southernman33. I think Sen's advice is spot on.

Life lesson: cheating has consequences. You paid a high price for this one. I'm sure you'd gladly take the F on the test now. We all make mistakes, and I hope that you will be able to find a solution to your current status. I mean that most sincerely.

DeltaBetaBaby · #7 09-23-2014, 10:57 AM

You cheated on a pledge test? Or a real university exam? I'm so confused.

southernman33 · #8 09-23-2014, 12:24 PM

DeltaBetaBaby - It was the second pledge test. If I failed it the whole group would have to keep retaking it until I got at least an 80% as everyone needed at least an 80% to pass. This has taken from 8 PM to 6 AM as brothers in the house had told me. I had some family issues and chose to cheat. Way over half of my pledge class was cheating and I know that for a fact, but I was the first one caught.

southernman33 · #9 09-23-2014, 12:27 PM

AZTheta - Yeah I would have taken the F but this was a pledge test and we would not have been allowed to leave until I got an 80%. There is no way I would have been able to do so given the situation I was in. I learned the hard way the consequences of cheating as I was let go from my friend group that in a short time period I had gotten to really like and at a big school it is difficult to make connections like that.

DeltaBetaBaby · #10 09-23-2014, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by southernman33

DeltaBetaBaby - It was the second pledge test. If I failed it the whole group would have to keep retaking it until I got at least an 80% as everyone needed at least an 80% to pass. This has taken from 8 PM to 6 AM as brothers in the house had told me. I had some family issues and chose to cheat. Way over half of my pledge class was cheating and I know that for a fact, but I was the first one caught.

qfp

AZTheta · #11 09-23-2014, 12:35 PM

I sincerely am sorry; I know this hurts. Remembering how hard things are and how much is thrown at one at that age, when the frontal lobes are still developing. I do mean that kindly, and I hope that this will work out for you. That is a high price, indeed.

Am feeling a lot of compassion for suffering everywhere. Not jaded - yet.

MysticCat · #12 09-23-2014, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by southernman33

If I failed it the whole group would have to keep retaking it until I got at least an 80% as everyone needed at least an 80% to pass. This has taken from 8 PM to 6 AM as brothers in the house had told me.

Wait, no one could leave and everyone had to keep retaking the test until everyone scored at least 80%? Even if that meant everyone was there all night taking and re-taking the test?

southernman33 · #13 09-23-2014, 02:34 PM

MysticCat - Yes and they took place on Sunday nights so it would be absolutely the worst way to start the week if I kept my pledge bros up that whole night. Two or three even had midterms the next day

southernman33 · #14 09-23-2014, 02:40 PM

AZTheta - Thanks for your concern. I never had any problems with friends my whole life until this past year.

I am planning on rushing other fraternities, but am still wondering if anyone has input on whether to rush the one I was in before. Again, the only person that did not seem to like me was my Senior Adviser who has now graduated.

33girl · #15 09-23-2014, 02:45 PM

Have you stayed in touch with any of the brothers as friends? Or did they blow off your texts, de-Facebook you or eliminate you from other social media? (If they did that, I would def move on because guys are lazy and never purge that stuff.)