Rushing Again
 

Hey guys I am new to this community and I could really use some advice.

Last spring I rushed and received a bid to one of my school's top fraternities. I was having a great time in the fraternity: making friends with all of my pledge bros, partying, and getting advice from the older members. After about three weeks I was dropped because I had cheated on a test the day before. I had immediately apologized for cheating, but I did not explain that I did not have time to study as I had been visiting my sick brother in the hospital which caused a lot to be on my mind. After I was given the boot, one of my pledge bros who was the starting center at this D-1 school came and gave me a big hug and said it could have happened to anyone (because everyone was cheating but I was the first one caught). People were later caught cheating on tests but were not given the boot.

With that as my back story, do you think I should bother rushing this fraternity again? Again, any and all advice is greatly appreciated.

Beloved brother friend,

If they caught others cheating but kept them, this says to me that they ultimately didn't want you and just wanted a reason to drop you. Unfortunately, you gave them that reason.

If you try again, that is your decision. But know that a second chance is not owed to you.

qfp

Thanks.

Sen's Revenge - this was my impression as well, but I really got along with every member except for our senior adviser. I can't think of anything I did to him he just didn't like me. Could those two put together have been enough to kick me out?

You do not know what was said about you behind closed doors, southernman33. I think Sen's advice is spot on.

Life lesson: cheating has consequences. You paid a high price for this one. I'm sure you'd gladly take the F on the test now. We all make mistakes, and I hope that you will be able to find a solution to your current status. I mean that most sincerely.

You cheated on a pledge test? Or a real university exam? I'm so confused.

DeltaBetaBaby - It was the second pledge test. If I failed it the whole group would have to keep retaking it until I got at least an 80% as everyone needed at least an 80% to pass. This has taken from 8 PM to 6 AM as brothers in the house had told me. I had some family issues and chose to cheat. Way over half of my pledge class was cheating and I know that for a fact, but I was the first one caught.

AZTheta - Yeah I would have taken the F but this was a pledge test and we would not have been allowed to leave until I got an 80%. There is no way I would have been able to do so given the situation I was in. I learned the hard way the consequences of cheating as I was let go from my friend group that in a short time period I had gotten to really like and at a big school it is difficult to make connections like that.

qfp

I sincerely am sorry; I know this hurts. Remembering how hard things are and how much is thrown at one at that age, when the frontal lobes are still developing. I do mean that kindly, and I hope that this will work out for you. That is a high price, indeed.

Am feeling a lot of compassion for suffering everywhere. Not jaded - yet.

Wait, no one could leave and everyone had to keep retaking the test until everyone scored at least 80%? Even if that meant everyone was there all night taking and re-taking the test?

MysticCat - Yes and they took place on Sunday nights so it would be absolutely the worst way to start the week if I kept my pledge bros up that whole night. Two or three even had midterms the next day

AZTheta - Thanks for your concern. I never had any problems with friends my whole life until this past year.

I am planning on rushing other fraternities, but am still wondering if anyone has input on whether to rush the one I was in before. Again, the only person that did not seem to like me was my Senior Adviser who has now graduated.

Have you stayed in touch with any of the brothers as friends? Or did they blow off your texts, de-Facebook you or eliminate you from other social media? (If they did that, I would def move on because guys are lazy and never purge that stuff.)