Getting a Big in a Sorority?

[PiKapp71]

So I'm a Pi Kapp and I am getting an unofficial big in Sigma Kappa. I was just wondering what exactly you do for that. Do I just make her a paddle or is there more to it? I know it is an unofficial thing, I just thought I'd get more input on the topic on here. Thanks!

[KDCat]

Originally Posted by PiKapp71

So I'm a Pi Kapp and I am getting an unofficial big in Sigma Kappa. I was just wondering what exactly you do for that. Do I just make her a paddle or is there more to it? I know it is an unofficial thing, I just thought I'd get more input on the topic on here. Thanks!

This is discouraged by many National organizations and there are many, many campuses where this would NOT happen. For that reason, it's very campus specific. You should ask her sorority sisters what she would like and ask other people in your fraternity what they did for their "Big Sister."

[CarolinaFuzzie]

My daughter was told to never give a paddle, not even a keychain because it has the appearance of hazing and I know Alpha Xi Delta has ZERO tolerance for that. she wound up making a ton of items (crafts) but if you're not so inclined, there are a lot of nice $10-$20 items on ebay that may pertain to her group she might like hope you find something

[33girl]

Originally Posted by CarolinaFuzzie

My daughter was told to never give a paddle, not even a keychain because it has the appearance of hazing and I know Alpha Xi Delta has ZERO tolerance for that. she wound up making a ton of items (crafts) but if you're not so inclined, there are a lot of nice $10-$20 items on ebaaaay that may pertain to her group she might like hope you find something

He's a boy. The concept of sorority women having fraternity men as "bigs" or "littles" is way more troublesome than anyone making a paddle.

It's also hella stupid.

[TPA85]

What all does this Big/Little pairing entail? Like does she have to bring you dinner every Thursday, or DD you on Saturday nights..?? Or is this some sort of intra-council pledge period mentoring program?
I'm just confused about what the point is.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by TPA85

What all does this Big/Little pairing entail? Like does she have to bring you dinner every Thursday, or DD you on Saturday nights..?? Or is this some sort of intra-council pledge period mentoring program?
I'm just confused about what the point is.

I don't think it matters. Big brother/little sister (or vice versa) relationships between fraternities and sororities is highly frowned upon (to put it lightly). I don't have extensive details about the history of said relationships, but nowadays it is seen as a huge risk management issue.

[SoCalGirl]

Everything everyone posted is true, especially the part about varying by campus.

But, I would think your "duties" are the same as any other big. Look out for your little. When she needs someone to talk to about her issues, listen and offer advice. If she's on track to do something dumb, intervene. Guide her through the nuances of your school's Greek Life.

Do you know any other guys who are Bigs to the chapter? They'd be a good resource.

[TPA85]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

I don't think it matters. Big brother/little sister (or vice versa) relationships between fraternities and sororities is highly frowned upon (to put it lightly). I don't have extensive details about the history of said relationships, but nowadays it is seen as a huge risk management issue.

I realize that. The Risk Management alarm was going off in my head and I was envisioning all the potentially inappropriate things a co-ed Big/Little match could entail. Just wanted to hear from the OP that it's as simple as doing the cooler decorating I've seen on here.. or that she checks up on his grades and does study tables with him.. just to ease my RM-vigilant mind.

[CarolinaFuzzie]

oh dear gawd...I didn't realize it was a fraternity boy with a little sister! pardon my gaff. as a mom (and an insurance risk manager in my day job!) that worries me...I do know that there are "brother' fraternities (I think Sigma Nu is ours?) but I didn't realize they paired up.

Yeah, makes my paddle comment seem like the LEAST of your worries! Carry on...

[33girl]

There aren't brother fraternities (not in the sense of being officially bound to each other) for any NPC groups. That would at least make a LITTLE sense, but what the op is talking about is just random Greeks calling each other big and little. It's silly.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by 33girl

There aren't brother fraternities (not in the sense of being officially bound to each other) for any NPC groups.

Right, but as has been discussed many times on GC, there definitely is an unofficial, historical connection between Sigma Nu and Alpha Xi Delta that members of both groups often refer to as a brother-sister relationship.

[33girl]

Yes I know that. But they are not BOUND to each other in any day to day operational way, nor are any of the other NPC/IFC connections, and it definitely has nothing to do with this big/little silliness. Just wanted to make that point abundantly clear.

[DubaiSis]

To put a finer point on it, did you see Van Wilder? The presumption is that any Big/Little relationship will function very much like the Jeannie role (played by Emily Rutherford, if you need to look her up on IMDB) in that movie. Sorry, I tried to link a photo but IMDB seems to be protective of their pics. Certainly undignified and below how a sorority woman should behave. And no, that may not be how most of these relationships function, but perception is reality and devoid of any real or valid reason then this is what we're left with.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Yes I know that. But they are not BOUND to each other in any day to day operational way, nor are any of the other NPC/IFC connections, and it definitely has nothing to do with this big/little silliness. Just wanted to make that point abundantly clear.

And I understand all of that. Just trying to avoid the tangent that the "no brother-sister groups/but Sigma Nu-AXiD?" posts have taken in the past.