I was expelled from my sorority

brite.starz01 · #1 08-20-2011, 11:15 AM

Okay, it sounds really bad like that.

Well, about a year ago I joined a very elite sorority at my college. And it was my first choice, so that was amazing to me. I got initiated and it was the most incredible thing EVER. But I always had small financial problems with paying my dues. I talked tu my chapter's treasurer about it, and she said that she would talk to our advisor about my problems. I kept paying as much as I really could, but not enough to clear my dues.
Another problem that I had was my parents' lack of knowledge in hersh life. They constantly tried to make me pick between my sorority and my family. I tried to convince then, and sought advice from my sisters. I also told our chapter president about my situation and she told me the consequences after dropping. I still kept paying what I could, and in June, I received a letter of financial expulsion.
Don't get me wrong on this. I loved my sorority dearly and I always will keep it close to my heart. I hold no grudges and just regret this disaster.

what are some basic rules to understand after you are no longer in a sorority? Like, as to not wearing letters, not talking about rituals.. Etc. And if you could give me any advice as to what I could do, it would be appreciated.
could I still be an alumnae maybe??

AGD1978 · #2 08-20-2011, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brite.starz01

Okay, it sounds really bad like that.

Well, about a year ago I joined a very elite sorority at my college. And it was my first choice, so that was amazing to me. I got initiated and it was the most incredible thing EVER. But I always had small financial problems with paying my dues. I talked tu my chapter's treasurer about it, and she said that she would talk to our advisor about my problems. I kept paying as much as I really could, but not enough to clear my dues.
Another problem that I had was my parents' lack of knowledge in hersh life. They constantly tried to make me pick between my sorority and my family. I tried to convince then, and sought advice from my sisters. I also told our chapter president about my situation and she told me the consequences after dropping. I still kept paying what I could, and in June, I received a letter of financial expulsion.
Don't get me wrong on this. I loved my sorority dearly and I always will keep it close to my heart. I hold no grudges and just regret this disaster.

what are some basic rules to understand after you are no longer in a sorority? Like, as to not wearing letters, not talking about rituals.. Etc. And if you could give me any advice as to what I could do, it would be appreciated.
could I still be an alumnae maybe??

QFP.

The answers to your questions vary with the organization. Contact them. Best of luck.

honeychile · #3 08-20-2011, 12:23 PM

Exactly - each Executive Office handles this differently. With most that I'm familiar, however, you'll have to pay off your delinquent dues prior to being reinstated. I'm a little surprised that no offers of a loan or grant for dues was offered, though. Did your advisors know of your situation? Good luck to you!

33girl · #4 08-20-2011, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brite.starz01

what are some basic rules to understand after you are no longer in a sorority? Like, as to not wearing letters, not talking about rituals.. Etc.

Those are the two most basic ones.

Don't feel as though you have to cut off the connections you made in the sorority if you or they don't want to. Just because they aren't your sisters any more doesn't mean they can't be your friends. Especially since you weren't expelled for bad behavior or lack of participation.

I hate to point fingers, it sounds as though your chapter treasurer may have screwed up. If it'll make you feel better, contact the advisor directly.

DeltaBetaBaby · #5 08-20-2011, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Those are the two most basic ones.

Don't feel as though you have to cut off the connections you made in the sorority if you or they don't want to. Just because they aren't your sisters any more doesn't mean they can't be your friends. Especially since you weren't expelled for bad behavior or lack of participation.

However, if the chapter has a house, you may not want to actually go there. You can ask what is the appropriate etiquette on this one, but if they are weird about you being in the house, you should respect that.

myopicsunflower · #6 08-20-2011, 03:34 PM

You asked about etiquette regarding ritual discussion with regard to your situation. Out of respect for your sorority, it would be wise not to discuss ritual, membership selection, or other organization secrets with anyone.

Regarding your other etiquette questions and whether you can be an alumna, I'd ask your chapter president or advisor. They will know how your organization handles those types of things.

brite.starz01 · #7 08-21-2011, 01:08 AM

Well, I discussed with my chapter president and vice president about my situation. They said they would talk to my advisor to let her know, but I never got any info as to what I could do or if anyone could help. I think it may be too late to do anything now though, since I've been expelled. I just could pay my delinquent fee and go from there. Maybe I should talk to our advisor, just in case??

AZTheta · #8 08-21-2011, 01:29 AM

Quick question: is this a local, or an NPC group?

brite.starz01 · #9 08-21-2011, 02:25 AM

It's NPC. I'd say which one, but I'd rather not have anyone know for safety reasons.

DubaiSis · #10 08-21-2011, 05:10 AM

No, it's more polite not to, and if you have any hope of salvaging your relationship (I would think there's hope there, one way or another), you don't want to be unladylike. I do hope you can work it out, but I wouldn't have the first idea how to help. If you can't get help locally, you might try the inter/national headquarters. At least then you'll know the rules for sure.

As far as wearing letters, your badge, etc., you shouldn't. I'm surprised they didn't ask for the stuff back, but once you know for sure that it's over (and you can't become an alumna or something), you might give them the t-shirts and stuff you won't be wearing again. I don't know what to tell you about the badge.

ThetaPrincess24 · #11 08-21-2011, 08:05 AM

As an advisory board chair and as someone who recently dealt with a financial termination, some of this does not make a lot of sense to me,

OP--Were you not told anything about payment plans or applying for financial inactivity? Were you not made aware of the financial responsibilities of your organization during recruitment & then again at your first new member meeting? Is your advisor present & active or an advisor "in name only?" Usually when it is noticed someone is behind on bills/not paying them, an advisor will meet with the member and discuss what is going on and options such as the above.

If you were having trouble with paying your dues/fees and the above options were not available to you, why did you not resign rather than allow yourself to be terminated? I will give the chapter members/advisors the benefit of the doubt here that you were given notice in advance about paying your dues or face termination of membership. This information is usually included in bylaws as well.

It may not seem fair, but chapter budgets are made based on the number of dues paying members a chapter has. Regardless of reason, when people dont pay it hurts the chapter and only "paying what you can" doesnt cut it.

As others have said if you were terminated, then I too am suprised that the chapter didnt make an attempt to collect your pin, certificate & membership card if your org. provides those, shirts, & all other stuff related to the sorority. It is acceptable to remain friends with your former sisters if you both wish. I wouldnt show up to the house or any function though unless you were personally invited by one of them.

As far as membership options from here, that will depend on your organization. I know with mine a "termination" is final and is non-reversable. If your local advisor is not getting back with you, go to your regional advisor and ask her or your HQ.

brite.starz01 · #12 08-21-2011, 08:28 AM

Okay, I will clear things up now.

I was not told of payment plans or signing up for financial inactivity.
I was made aware of my financial responsibilities during new member meeting. The problem was my financial inactivity during the second semester of college.
Unfortunately, an advisor never came to talk to me about my situation.
I was not given the option of resigning, I actually thought of doing it myself. When I told my chapter president, however, they spent two months convincing me not to resign.
I was aware that the chapter budget is based on the members and instability really affects our budget.
I was given notice twice about my financial delinquency and was let know by my treasurer that if I did not pay, I would face financial expulsion, which I was prepared for in case they really did expel me. I was really insure what to think.
In my final letter, the national president sent me a letter of financial expulsion and asked for my badge and my membership card. I still have my shirts, since I only have two, One from initiation and one bought. I've stored the rest of my sorority items that I have.

DubaiSis · #13 08-21-2011, 08:33 AM

OK, so that's pretty clear. You might feel you were treated unfairly but all the information was covered by the sorority from the national level. I'm sorry it worked out this way for you.

I suppose you could still go to the national organization and ask if there's any way around this - for you to get back into their good graces - but it sounds like they were pretty thorough.

brite.starz01 · #14 08-21-2011, 08:42 AM

Yes, it may seem a little unfair to me, since I was very confused about my situation and never had the opportunity to talk to an advisor about my problem. However, it is understandable to me. I did know that I would have consequences and I understand why.
But now, it is a new year, and the chapter president has not contacted me once about anything post-termination. I would like to ask her questions about my situation of my responsibilities now. Should I contact her now if she's not contacting me?

ThetaPrincess24 · #15 08-21-2011, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brite.starz01

Yes, it may seem a little unfair to me, since I was very confused about my situation and never had the opportunity to talk to an advisor about my problem. However, it is understandable to me. I did know that I would have consequences and I understand why.
But now, it is a new year, and the chapter president has not contacted me once about anything post-termination. I would like to ask her questions about my situation of my responsibilities now. Should I contact her now if she's not contacting me?

YOu arent a member anymore so she is no longer obligated to stay in touch with you about your membership status. At this point, I would get in touch with a regional advisor or your HQ and deal with it on that level, accept the answer they give you, and move on.