Second chance? Advice, please.

BumbleBeeofDDD · #1 08-03-2011, 06:14 PM

I will make this super short. I was only an active for two years before I went through alumni initation. The reason for leaving was because I wasn't truly happy with what I was studying, and left to pursue Cosmetology. Now that I'm graduated from that and an alumni, I've been invited to help with recruitment and to participate in alumni events.

While living in the sorority house I moved in early and didn't really bond with my pledge class. I bonded with a few girls a class year older and it went terribly wrong. We had a falling out. At this point it was just me and my big and a few other girls. After I left I didn't really keep up communcation.

Fast foward a year later and I go through the alumni initation and alot of the girls are cold to me. Not all, but alot of them.

Now that I'm being invited to these alumni events I really want to go and have a second chance. I admit, that I am at fault for not keeping up the connections. I want to show them that I have changed and that I want a second chance at the sisterhood I never really got.

My question is, if you were in my shoes, would you try and do this even if it meant rejection? Or should I just pass on the events. I hope this is the right place for this.

MysticCat · #2 08-03-2011, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BumbleBeeofDDD

I will make this super short. I was only an active for two years before I went through alumni initation.

Do you mean you took alumna status?

BumbleBeeofDDD · #3 08-03-2011, 06:28 PM

Yes it was either that or drop, which I did not want to do. I left at the end of the year (after they had already had that years alumna class initiated) so I had to wait a full year before going through the process.

Psi U MC Vito · #4 08-03-2011, 06:33 PM

MC, I think she means there is some kind of ritual to transition from a UG to an aluma.

BumbleBeeofDDD · #5 08-03-2011, 06:37 PM

Lol sorry if I confused anyone!

HannahXO · #6 08-03-2011, 06:51 PM

Alumni initiation is generally when someone who didn't go greek in college joins a sorority as an alumna, and it is a really rare and special situation. Taking alumna status is totally different (Chi O has a separate ritual-like ceremony for it too, I would assume many sororities do).

As for your initial question, I see no reason not to be an active alumna now. You are a tri-delta for life, why give it up? You are older and more mature than you were as an undergrad. What's the worst that could happen?

BumbleBeeofDDD · #7 08-03-2011, 06:53 PM

I guess I just worry that if I do go to the events I'll be shunned and they will see me as how I was long ago. Don't want to get burned again. But at the same time, I really want this sisterhood and these are amazing women. I guess I won't know what happens if I don't go and try.

edit: I meant alumna status.

sorry about confusion!!

Psi U MC Vito · #8 08-03-2011, 06:59 PM

Also to put in my 2 cents, you have to remember that the people going to the alumnae events won't be just the women you were a UG with. So in some ways it will be a second chance, but you can also meet Sisters for the first time that you become fast friends with.

MysticCat · #9 08-03-2011, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BumbleBeeofDDD

I guess I won't know what happens if I don't go and try.

This.

AlwaysSAI · #10 08-03-2011, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Do you mean you took alumna status?

This may have already been addressed (I didn't read the whole thread) but some sororities still have aspects that remain secret until a member goes through the alumnae ritual.

I would also like to add--being involved with a collegiate chapter as an alumna is a different experience. It will not be the same or even really compare to collegiate membership. You should try to find a Tri Delta alumnae chapter in your area. They can be real sources of sisterhood and support.

BumbleBeeofDDD · #11 08-03-2011, 10:10 PM

AlwaysSAI is correct, I apologize for confusion! There is a ceremony, not just a transfer of titles. >_<

And I really think I'm going to start being involved as an alumna. I don't know what happens if I don't try! There is more to the group than the girls that just became alumni.

ElieM · #12 08-03-2011, 11:23 PM

I think many people here have written about how their alumnae experiences are totally different from their collegiate ones, and how they have made many friends in their alumnae chapters.

Give it a shot

MysticCat · #13 08-04-2011, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

This may have already been addressed (I didn't read the whole thread) but some sororities still have aspects that remain secret until a member goes through the alumnae ritual.

Yeah, I thought that might be it. It's just that since she used the term "alumni initiation," which as HannahXO points out has a specific meaning, I thought it would be helpful to get a little clarification rather than assuming.

baci · #14 08-04-2011, 09:26 AM

You are a sister, so be confident and proud! You should attend these events and work hard to support your sisters locally and Tri Delta at the national level. You may face some bumps along the way, but if you are genuine it will all even out in time. I wish you all the luck!

33girl · #15 08-04-2011, 10:52 AM

How long ago is this? I'm assuming 2-5 years-ish from your post.

I'm not going to sugar coat it and say that everyone is going to have open arms for you. But you won't know until you try. You could let them know that part of why you fell out of touch is that you wanted to make sure you did things right and kept on track as far as your cosmetology schooling was concerned.

People who are happy in school often don't understand how big of a deal it is to be in a major/at a school where you're miserable. Let them know that played a part too.

Have you been reconnecting on Facebook? It might help to send a private message to some of the girls you fell out with and try to hash things out that way. It's easier to lay the groundwork that way rather than just show up at an alumnae event and not know what to expect.

Everyone who's like "alumnae life is soooo different from collegiate life" - please look at her location. She's more than likely going to alum events that contain members of her chapter, period. Even if that wasn't the case, blowing off conflicts with your chapter sisters and saying "screw it, I'll be in an alumnae chapter with girls from other chapters" is often really not a good look, if you want to be involved with activities at your school as a school alumnus.