Hyphenated last names

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Half the people in my family go by their middle names, including one of my children. Very common in this part of the world. I don't think any of them have found it to be a major inconvenience to simply say "I go by MiddleName." Meanwhile, when my sister got married, she just stopped using her first name.

Or we could do it the Icelandic way. I've mentioned this at GC before, so I'll cut and paste.

In Iceland, your last name depends on your father's first name, and a family of four can have four different last names. Say dad's name is Eric -- his son, Leif, is Leif Ericsson (Eric's son), and his daughter, we'll call her Katrín, is Katrín Ericsdóttir (Eric's daughter). Meanwhile, Helga -- Eric's wife and the mother of Leif and Katrín -- is the daughter of a man named Jón, so her last name is Jónsdóttir; she doesn't change it when she gets married. Oh, and Eric's dad's first name was Stefán, so his name is Eric Stefánsson.

So, in one family, you have Eric Stefánsson (husband) and Helga Jónsdóttir (wife) and their kids: Leif Ericsson and Katrín Ericsdóttir.

In Norway there's also naming in relation to the land. Since we are land owners, our name includes our farm/property name. If there are only daughters, the man who marries in will take our name, since he is coming to our land and joining our family. Also anyone who worked our farm, would also have our farm name, as part of their name. We also had the Icelandic example of yours, with the . We ended up with relatives having different last names coming through Ellis Island, some with Iverson, and some with Farmname.

I'm not hyphenating or taking any potential husband's name. I'm too established and what a hassle, and my last name is dying out anyway.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by thetygerlily

Perhaps we should start referring to you as Mr. Cat from now on? (j/k- but it would be funny to see that randomly show up in threads)

Since he's Southern, we just make it initials.. MC. <duck>

[ZTA72]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I don't think there's a standard. The same-sex couples I know made a hyphenated name out of both last names.

Ex: Suzie Jones and Jane Smith married and became Suzie and Jane Jones-Smith.

My same sex friends did that as well. They went to another state to become legally married and then returned home and went through the court system to change their names to a hypenated name of both last names. I didn't ask how they decided *the order* of the names.

[jdrama]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Stop being so lazy, people.

True but seriously, Signing a lease and that paper work or even a new job with the W4 and all of that is crazy! Hard enough with 3 names but 4... I rather give one up.

[carnation]

It's interesting how many Latin American countries do names.

The girl: Maria FathersLast Name MothersLastName.
Let's call her Maria Cruz Lopez.

The boy: Juan FathersLastName MothersLastName.
Let's call him Juan Ortiz Arellano.

They marry; she keeps her names but adds "de Arellano" to them. Now in these countries, if you can only use 1 last name for whatever reason, you use the first one (the dad's last name), so they'd be Maria Cruz and Juan Ortiz.

What happens here a lot, though, is that when a Latino kid who's just come to this country comes to school to register, the secretary thinks that "Arellano" is Juan's last name and that Ortiz is his middle name and he goes through all his years of school as Juan Arellano.

[amanda6035]

I guess I'm old fashioned. I took my husbands name, but dropped my middle name to keep my maiden name as my middle name.

I'm surprised to hear how many people on here are discussing hyphenated names as if it's normal...the only people I ever knew with hyphenated names were professors in college and 1 doctor. Other than 2 or 3 of them, I've never met anyone who messed with having a hyphenated name .

[cheerfulgreek]

I wonder if there are any guys who use their wife's last name.

[WaterChild]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Her last name is Johnson. I told her that if he doesn't want to go through with it, to only date guys with Johnson as their last name. That shouldn't be too hard to do.

I have a friend whose fiance has the same last name as she does. It's not a common name though.

[christiangirl]

Everything I think on the subject has been said within the last 6 pages, so I'll review:

Originally Posted by DSTRen13

If my husband had reacted that way, I honestly don't think I would have married him. It is a values issue, and if you can't agree on something like that, then it really doesn't bode well for the long term.

THIS

Originally Posted by 1stSoon2BePhD

I decided to do so because when I get my PhD, I will be the first "Dr. anything" in my family which is something I am extremely proud and excited about.

THAT

Originally Posted by ZTA72

I know many female physicians who keep their name and then if married after graduation then use their husband's name socially and for any children. It seems to work well to separate work and social/family life.

THE OTHER.

[pinkyphimu]

Originally Posted by GTAlphaPhi

I've always wondered, especially with the rise of same-sex marriages, how to deal with last names? While I know many same-sex spouses (gay and lesbian), all of them kept their own names.


Are any of you part of or know of same-sex marriages where one took the other's name, or somehow combined it? How do you/they decide who's name will be the family name? Since it's same-sex, there isn't the "man's-name-is-the-family-name" tradition because either they're both men, or in the case of a lesbian marriage, no men.

Most of my gay and lesbian friends have kept their own names. One couple combined their names into something new. They both had very simple last names and they combined beautifully.

I kept my name when I got married. I don't care if you call me Mrs. HisName. If we ever have kids, they will take his last name, but we might give them my name as their middle names. My mom, on the other hand, is horrified. When my grandmother passed away, she included the grandchildrens' names. I read the paper and laugh out loud when I see....Pinky MaidenName-HisName. She said that she told the funeral director I have such a wonderful husband and that it is ridiculous that I didn't change my name.

We have friends who both changed their names to Karen MaidenName HisName and Tom HerMaidenName HisName. Her maiden name is both of their middle names now (and their kids too). When we sent our save the dates, hubby sent them to Mr. and Mrs. Tom HisName. Well, Karen got hubby's ear and chewed him up...don't you think I exist...aren't we friends...etc.etc. When it came time to send the invitations, hubby addressed it, Ms Karen HerName and Guest. LOL. He is such a smart a$$.

[aephi alum]

Whoof. So much I want to say here...

For me, hyphenation was not an option, simply because my husband's last name is alphabet soup all by itself. I chose to take his last name because it is distinctive (and also because my father is a jackass). However, I will bitch-slap anyone who calls me "Mrs. Hisfirstname Hislastname". I took his last name, not his first.

My mother, a retired doctor, did something similar to what ZTA72 described. When she got married, she changed her name legally to Mrs. Hislastname. Almost everything - driver's license, bank accounts, yadda yadda - is in her married name. The notable exception: She practiced as Dr. Hermaidenname. She had to double endorse all her paychecks because they were made out to Dr. Hermaidenname and her bank account said Mrs. Hislastname.

Back to the OP, if her friend's fiance is having a sh!tfit because she wants to hyphenate instead of just using his last name -- that couple needs to pause and consider before tying the knot.

[PhoenixAzul]

I am a hyphen. I didn't even intend on doing it until the day before the wedding. Then I got to thinking about my publications, the work I'm doing, and the norms in my field...and I decided hyphenation was pretty OK. Didn't tell my parents, didn't tell his parents...just told the priest and the friend who announced us at the wedding. My husband didn't care, but he didn't want to change, so it is just me, Phoenix Azul-Husband. I kept my middle name because I love it, and it is part of a nickname (TJ). It's really not that big of a deal, and really having part of my middle name has come in handy in a lot of situations. Being a hyphen is kinda fun, I just sort of alert people to the fact that it is hyphenated when I spell it for them. Although some people want to put husband's name first, and then mine, which changes our name to something that sounds extremely different, and a very common Jewish last name. I laugh. Husband has also gotten stuff to "Mr and Mrs Phoenix Azul-Husband".

He now knows what women go through all their lives.

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by PhoenixAzul

Husband has also gotten stuff to "Mr and Mrs Phoenix Azul-Husband".

He now knows what women go through all their lives.

LMAO!

My husband and I went on honeymoon in Aruba right after our wedding. Of course, I was unable to change the name on my passport before we left, so we traveled as (let's say) Mr. Stan Marsh and Ms. Wendy Testaburger. We also used my Hyatt points for our hotel stay, so the room was booked under my name - specifically, my maiden name. We mentioned we were on our honeymoon. So, for our entire stay, we were Mr. and Mrs. Testaburger.

One afternoon, we had lunch at the hotel restaurant, and DH signed it to the room, and the waiter challenged him because he signed it "Stan Marsh" and not "Stan Testaburger".

Yeah... DH didn't find it nearly as funny as I did.