Dropping Out of My Sorority

[Jimmy Choo]

Quite frankly, this isn't rude at all. If she wants rude she should stick around for a while. This was actually quite nice until she came back and tried to cop an attitude.

So what your doctor's appointment is early on Saturday, I hardly slept when I was on the yard. Ever heard of a sacrifice? Diddy said sleep is for the dead. Just try to incorporate your sisters into your daily schedule and things should work out better for all of you... If you still feel you dont have a bond, then maybe you should Quit, if that's what you feel is right. But communication is the key to all relationships. Have you told them how you feel?

[aggieadpi_01]

I fail to see how anyone was being rude to you. Instead, I saw people giving you good solid advice.

Remember, you will get out of your sorority what you put into it.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by aggieadpi_01

I fail to see how anyone was being rude to you. Instead, I saw people giving you good solid advice.

Remember, you will get out of your sorority what you put into it.

Obviously they were rude because they didn't post: "Oh yeah! Your sorority sucks! It's totally their fault and you should punish them by dropping out!"

[aggieadpi_01]

Originally Posted by alphagamzetagam

Obviously they were rude because they didn't post: "Oh yeah! Your sorority sucks! It's totally their fault and you should punish them by dropping out!"

How dare they not point out the suckiness of her sorority! Damn, I guess we all need sensitivity training now....

[LΩVE]

Originally Posted by sceniczip

I sort of felt this way until really this past semester because I felt like I wasn't included as much as the rest of my pledge class. Now that I've started hanging out at the house more I see more of the girls and realized that they are all so sweet and I love all of them so much I can be very outgoing once I get to know somebody but at first I'm usually pretty shy (in most situations at least). It can be intimidating to try and get to know all the women in your chapter at once so try inviting just a couple to go grab lunch or something. I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised. As has been mentioned before but deserves repeating, you get out what you put in I learned that the hard way lol. But now that I have a position and am around more I truly value every single one of my sisters and wouldn't trade Delta Gamma for anything.

Exactly.

When I was in middle school and girls were mean and catty I got picked on occasionally, but I developed a complex and thought EVERYONE hated me and made fun of me when in reality it was about three girls, and I was certainly not special enough to be their only victim. There were many "me's". My mom finally sat me down and told me to get over myself. Of course I was offended, wanting her to be on my side and bash those mean girls with me. But she explained that 99% of the people in my grade 99% of the time (with the exception of people I was close enough to to see every day and talk to every day) weren't thinking bad things about me because they weren't thinking about me at all. Most people are self centered to some degree by nature, and this is especially true of teenagers and young adults. Brains don't stop developing until 25. And that changed my viewpoint completely, because when I stopped fuming I realized it was true.

The fact is you probably don't feel like you fit in because as sceniczip pointed out, though your sisters probably think you're nice, they probably don't think much else one way or another. You HAVE to make yourself known to be remembered and eventually to be included. They probably aren't thinking about you when they don't see you because they don't know you and whether or not you think it's fair, it's up to YOU to change the situation. All the suggestions that posters have given are good. Basically, find any opportunity to hang out. Personally I'm not close to many of my sisters at the moment, but it's because I haven't made much effort to hang out due to school. So when I have a chance I call a sister that I don't hang out with often or don't know all that well to go out with. And then one day when she wants something to do and is trying to think of someone to do it with, she'll call me. That's how it works. It's a lot of work, but it's worth it.

[Jill1228]

Originally Posted by GreenEyedGirl27

Wow. You guys are some of the rudest people I've ever encountered. It's not like I'm too busy for them. One, we don't have a house so I can't go there to hang out with people. Two, I have to go to the doctor once a month early on a Saturday and it just so happens that the mixers are always that Friday night, when I have to go home to go to the doctor early the next morning. And they are not planned months in advance, we get the dates maybe 2 weeks in advance. If everyone in greek life is as rude as you people, then it's better I leave.

Everyone here has given you great advice. If you are expecting to be coddled and have sunshine blown up your ass, honey you are in the wrong damn place

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by alphagamzetagam

Obviously they were rude because they didn't post: "Oh yeah! Your sorority sucks! It's totally their fault and you should punish them by dropping out!"

OMFG great advice. To punish myself because I'm a victim I'm going to stay your sister, which really just punishes you!

[Shellfish]

I bet if you just come out and say, "I'm having trouble making it to mixers because of my appointments, but I'd like to do more with you guys," then organize something, which can be casual, like regular get-togethers for coffee or pizza or whatever with whoever can make it, people will be impressed that you took the initiative to get involved despite your difficulties.

[libramunoz]

To GEG--everyone has given you some very valuable advice and it sounds like you should use it. To think that the people here are being rude is making a huge assumption about folks. You didn't put in what was going on with you in your introduction and because of that you got mad when folks told you what you would need to do in order to help in rectifying the situation. I think that you need to look at the sound advice, eat a little crow, grow up, and jump in.
You have to be able to jump in the situation in order to improve the situation. Never assume that folks don't like you or don't know you if you haven't stopped, looked at what you are doing, and been more willing to do something for yourself. If you are this dissatisfied with your situation, stop and look at what have your actions been and what are your current actions now. See what it is that you can do to change the actions and others reactions to you.
At my school, we didn't have a house, and primarily everyone lived in dorms or in campus housing with the exception of those who lived off campus. However, we all learned how to come together and do what we needed to do for, with, and through each other. In a sorority, no you probably will not get along with every sister that you have. However, that is life, everyone that you meet, you probably won't get along, like, give a squirrel's nuts about, but if you have to work with them or be a part of a project with them, you do what you gotta do in order to get the work done. Such is the same with sorority life. If you feel that you cannot do that because of your medical issues, then that's one thing. However, if you feel that you can't do it because you DON'T WANT TOO, that's something else entirely! Again, look at what it is that you are WILLING to do for and within your sorority to determine if you are willing to not have to have the door hit you where the Good Lord split ya. You gotta look at what it is that you wanted from your sorority to begin with to determine if you need to remain there.

[LucyAnne17]

Originally Posted by GreenEyedGirl27

Wow. You guys are some of the rudest people I've ever encountered. It's not like I'm too busy for them. One, we don't have a house so I can't go there to hang out with people. Two, I have to go to the doctor once a month early on a Saturday and it just so happens that the mixers are always that Friday night, when I have to go home to go to the doctor early the next morning. And they are not planned months in advance, we get the dates maybe 2 weeks in advance. If everyone in greek life is as rude as you people, then it's better I leave.

Try not to be offended- they really are just trying to help. I can understand your frustration because I was incredibly sick for a year- I had my position taken away from me, got called into e-board constantly because I wasn't at events, and really didn't know people well. I was extremely frustrated because I was going through something major, but I didn't feel like I could talk to my sisters about it. It's also difficult because you don't have a house- my chapter also has no house. I know you probably don't feel comfortable talking to people about going to the doctor and stuff, but you should consider going to the mixers. I am telling you. Even if you feel totally ostracized from people and feel like you don't belong, show up at a mixer, and you will have closer friends the next day. You don't have to drink. You don't have to stay out all night. You can go home and be in bed at 11pm. But dont you think a little less sleep one saturday a month is worth having some good friends? Just give it a chance, and I promise you will see results.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by LucyAnne17

I know you probably don't feel comfortable talking to people about going to the doctor and stuff, but you should consider going to the mixers. I am telling you. Even if you feel totally ostracized from people and feel like you don't belong, show up at a mixer, and you will have closer friends the next day. You don't have to drink. You don't have to stay out all night. You can go home and be in bed at 11pm. But dont you think a little less sleep one saturday a month is worth having some good friends? Just give it a chance, and I promise you will see results.

YES.

No one is saying you have to go to the social and stay the entire night.

No one is saying you have to go and get drunk.

No one is saying you should skip your Dr. appts.

All we're saying is that you should just GO.

It's just like when you first came to college. You didn't make friends by sitting in your dorm and waiting on them to come to you. The sorority is THE SAME WAY. You have to get out there and go to stuff to make friends.

[KappaKittyCat]

Good advice from everyone. That being said... is there anyone here who thinks the OP is actually still reading? She seemed to do a textbook flounce.

[Benzgirl]

She's gone. Didn't get the answer she wanted so she is seeking out others who will.