Question for parents, parents to be, and parent want to be's.....

[cheerfulgreek]

For those of you who have a child, are getting ready to have a child, or want a child in the future, what would be the last (most dreaded) thing (secret) you would hate to find out about your daughter/son? (with the exception of death)

I don't have any children, but if I did, I would be devastated if I found out my daughter/son was on drugs.

[OneTimeSBX]

hmmm. i think i would have to agree...things that people consider to be "bad" are nothing compared to a child strung out on drugs or alcohol....

[Tippiechick]

Seriously? There's rehab for druggies. And, I've known plenty of productive professionals who smoke/smoked pot. They are the least of my worries. Hell, even coke-heads get things done. Meth, now that's a screwed up drug for white-trashies.

The worst things I could find out?

1) My child is dying or has died-- period.
2) My child has been abducted, tortured, and sexually abused before being killed in a violent, long, painful death.
3) My child is a murderer/psycho/serial killer...

I think for most parents, our main fears involve forces we have no control over. One of my sorority sisters has a child with a rare, genetic disease. It's terminal and takes the life of the child between ages 8-12. The child goes blind, loses control of their body, and slowly dies. THAT scares me. I just hug Max every time I think about it.

[OneTimeSBX]

gee, tippie...i hadnt thought of those things...i hate that i could be naive! having seen her graphic, depressing, and realistic list, i change my answer...drugs are now the least of my concern!!

and you are correct. its our job to protect, so what we cant control is scary as hell.

[KSUViolet06]

I'm not a mom, but I would be devastated if I found out that my kid had been abused in some way and never told me. I'd be even more hurt if it happend to be at the hands of a family member or family friend. I don't even know if I could be held liable for my actions if I found out someone was hurting my kid.

I'd also be devastated if he/she were diagnosed with any sort of terminal illness. I've known little kids who have died of cancer and I have always grieved so much for their parents.

[the rocketeer]

Originally Posted by Tippiechick

I think for most parents, our main fears involve forces we have no control over. One of my sorority sisters has a child with a rare, genetic disease. It's terminal and takes the life of the child between ages 8-12. The child goes blind, loses control of their body, and slowly dies. THAT scares me. I just hug Max every time I think about it.

Your sister must be a very strong and courageous woman. I don't know what I would do if I was in her position.

[AGDee]

My first thought was terminal illness/death.

I agree with Tippie's list 100%

[ThetaPrincess24]

Originally Posted by Tippiechick

1) My child is dying or has died-- period.
2) My child has been abducted, tortured, and sexually abused before being killed in a violent, long, painful death.
3) My child is a murderer/psycho/serial killer...

I think for most parents, our main fears involve forces we have no control over. One of my sorority sisters has a child with a rare, genetic disease. It's terminal and takes the life of the child between ages 8-12. The child goes blind, loses control of their body, and slowly dies. THAT scares me. I just hug Max every time I think about it.

I agree with this list in addition to being strung out on drugs and/or alcohol(not experimenting with drugs/alcohol but addicted), and bad car accidents/terminal illnesses. My eldest step son is a 17 year old driver and I worry about him constantly getting in a wreck.

[nikki1920]

Tippie's list is it for me.

I don't like to see my daughter in pain in anyway.

[Dionysus]

I thought cheerful's tone was more like "what secrets would devastate you?", I might be wrong...

I would hate to find out that my son or daughter is dating someone abusive, or has been sexually assaulted.

[GMUBunny]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

I thought cheerful's tone was more like "what secrets would devastate you?", I might be wrong...

I would hate to find out that my son or daughter is dating someone abusive, or has been sexually assaulted.

That's the feeling I got from the question as well. I took it to mean more like "what kind of secret or shenanigans would scare you most?" To answer that question, I'd say drugs and/or prostitution.

To answer the more serious question raised here, I'd have to say death, terminal illness, abuse of any sort. The absolute worst would be an untimely death, like a car crash. I couldn't imagine any of those things happening to either of my babies.

[kstar]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

For those of you who have a child, are getting ready to have a child, or want a child in the future, what would be the last (most dreaded) thing you would hate to find out about your daughter/son?

I don't have any children, but if I did, I would be devastated if I found out my daughter/son was on drugs.

Honestly, I gave this a lot of thought. IF (big if) I ever had children, I don't think that dying/terminal illness would be the worst thing. I mean, yes, tragic and would probably require a lot of grief counseling.

However, the most devastating thing that a child could do would be more like if they were going against every value I would have taught them, like being a Republican, a Scientologist, or committing a crime. Something about those things just makes me... I dunno, it was like when I found out that one of my childhood friends was a Republican, I was so disappointed and heartbroken that she and I would never be friends again.

[Tippiechick]

Originally Posted by kstar

Honestly, I gave this a lot of thought. IF (big if) I ever had children, I don't think that dying/terminal illness would be the worst thing. I mean, yes, tragic and would probably require a lot of grief counseling.

However, the most devastating thing that a child could do would be more like if they were going against every value I would have taught them, like being a Republican, a Scientologist, or committing a crime. Something about those things just makes me... I dunno, it was like when I found out that one of my childhood friends was a Republican, I was so disappointed and heartbroken that she and I would never be friends again.

Wow. Just wow. You won't be friends with someone because of their political affiliation?

That's just pretty damn stupid and self-righteous...

I can usually see someone's point-of-view even if I don't agree with it. But, you have totally amazed me with your post. It's very small minded. Wow. So, where do independent voters fit in your hierarchy of friendship acceptability? Do you only speak to them when they agree with you?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Tippiechick

Wow. Just wow. You won't be friends with someone because of their political affiliation?

That's just pretty damn stupid and self-righteous...

I can usually see someone's point-of-view even if I don't agree with it. But, you have totally amazed me with your post. It's very small minded. Wow. So, where do independent voters fit in your hierarchy of friendship acceptability? Do you only speak to them when they agree with you?

Agreed. There are alot of way worse things a kid could be (you know, a drug addict, serial murderer, etc).

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

I thought cheerful's tone was more like "what secrets would devastate you?", I might be wrong...

Oops! I goofed.

You guys I am so sorry, this is exactly what I meant. I should have said with the exception of death. I meant secrets. Thanks Dionysus.

I'll go back and edit my post.