Mothers and Daughters - Page 2

33girl · #16 08-08-2008, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kansas City

I agree. If the chapter that I advise really likes another house's legacy they would "rush her hard". It was always a challenge to see if the girl they really wanted would select us (the non-legacy house) over her legacy house.

If you have to cut 50% of the girls who come through your party, you're reaching for anything you can get. "She's a legacy, her mom's group will pledge her" is one of those cuts that you can kind of talk yourself into feeling good about. Even if it's not necessarily true.

mmc · #17 08-08-2008, 10:22 AM

My school is a southern school, but Big 12 not SEC. (From the way it sounds SEC rush is WAYYY intense). Anyways, sorry to be so blunt but are you all implying that being a legacy to my mom's university and sorority could hurt me? Her sorority is a great group of girls, I would be honored to be a part of it, and I know I wont know exactly how they are until I rush since groups change over the years, but my mother and I are very different people with different personalities. Do I run the risk of not clicking with her XYZ sorority (and getting cut) and getting cut from ABC sorority that I do click with simply because I am my mother's daughter?

Overanalyzing, I know. But I would like to know how much emphasis I should place (gracefully, of course) when talking to the sisters on my finding my own house that fits the best with me, whether it be XYZ or any other GLO.

red10 · #18 08-08-2008, 10:34 AM

if they ask why you decided to rush couldn't you just said something along the lines of: my mom was in a sorority and really loved it. I really want to find a house that fits me as well as hers fit her.

that way you aren't saying "I don't wanna be an XYZ like mommy" nor are you saying "I only wanna be an XYZ like my mommy"

AOII Angel · #19 08-08-2008, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mmc

My school is a southern school, but Big 12 not SEC. (From the way it sounds SEC rush is WAYYY intense). Anyways, sorry to be so blunt but are you all implying that being a legacy to my mom's university and sorority could hurt me? Her sorority is a great group of girls, I would be honored to be a part of it, and I know I wont know exactly how they are until I rush since groups change over the years, but my mother and I are very different people with different personalities. Do I run the risk of not clicking with her XYZ sorority (and getting cut) and getting cut from ABC sorority that I do click with simply because I am my mother's daughter?

Overanalyzing, I know. But I would like to know how much emphasis I should place (gracefully, of course) when talking to the sisters on my finding my own house that fits the best with me, whether it be XYZ or any other GLO.

Just being a legacy to another chapter at any school other than super competitive ones should not hurt you in any way. As with my example, however, talking too much about that legacy may give other chapters the impression that they shouldn't waste their time trying to steal you from your mom's group. Don't take what I said wrong....I am honored to be an AOII and most likely would have chosen them over the other chapters on campus, but any choice was taken away from me because I was not cautious with my statements. As others have said, sometimes little things are used to make decisions to cut great girls when you have to cut someone!

irishpipes · #20 08-08-2008, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mmc

My school is a southern school, but Big 12 not SEC. (From the way it sounds SEC rush is WAYYY intense). Anyways, sorry to be so blunt but are you all implying that being a legacy to my mom's university and sorority could hurt me? Her sorority is a great group of girls, I would be honored to be a part of it, and I know I wont know exactly how they are until I rush since groups change over the years, but my mother and I are very different people with different personalities. Do I run the risk of not clicking with her XYZ sorority (and getting cut) and getting cut from ABC sorority that I do click with simply because I am my mother's daughter?

Overanalyzing, I know. But I would like to know how much emphasis I should place (gracefully, of course) when talking to the sisters on my finding my own house that fits the best with me, whether it be XYZ or any other GLO.

Some of the southern Big XII schools have very intense recruitments also. (Oklahoma, Texas, etc.)

gee_ess · #21 08-08-2008, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gee_ess

It is very much a factor and very common knowledge in the south who is a legacy to which house. Word gets around through a variety of sources, and depending on the legacy relationship, girls can be cut based on that fact. If this OP is in an SEC school or other similar Greek situation, she needs to make it very clear in the dorm, in line waiting for a party, in the conversations during the party, with her gamma chi, etc that she is open minded about all the groups and her mother is encouraging her to find her own place.

See above ^^^^

Being a legacy is not necessarily a negative - but my advice would be to make it clear that you are not tied or dead set on pledging any particular group. AOPi Angels' advice above is good advice and makes the case for watching as well as thinking about what you will say.

The whole point is to position yourself to have options - what you say can influence that.

Elephant Walk · #22 08-08-2008, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gee_ess

It is very much a factor and very common knowledge in the south who is a legacy to which house. Word gets around through a variety of sources, and depending on the legacy relationship, girls can be cut based on that fact. If this OP is in an SEC school or other similar Greek situation, she needs to make it very clear in the dorm, in line waiting for a party, in the conversations during the party, with her gamma chi, etc that she is open minded about all the groups and her mother is encouraging her to find her own place.

Absolutely correct.

If she's out of state, I think. The world (and the Southern states) are small enough that everyone knows everyone. And whose someone kin to. Can't hide it, so make sure you let people know that you might not go where your kin.

FSUZeta · #23 08-08-2008, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

If you have to cut 50% of the girls who come through your party, you're reaching for anything you can get. "She's a legacy, her mom's group will pledge her" is one of those cuts that you can kind of talk yourself into feeling good about. Even if it's not necessarily true.

too true!

Kansas City · #24 08-08-2008, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

If you have to cut 50% of the girls who come through your party, you're reaching for anything you can get. "She's a legacy, her mom's group will pledge her" is one of those cuts that you can kind of talk yourself into feeling good about. Even if it's not necessarily true.

I guess I'm just lucky that my chapter doesn't have to make these kind of cuts, mid-west location and DII at that.

50% seems pretty steep, is this common for the "big guys" in SEC? Of course we've got forced cuts too but nothing so drastic. It affords us the opportunity to get to know who we are cutting or keep the unknowns around longer to find out more about the individual.

33girl · #25 08-08-2008, 04:52 PM

if you use the new release figures, then yes, I think some groups (as in the ones everyone wants to join) do have to cut that much.

GeorgiaMom · #26 08-13-2008, 04:57 PM

My daughter participated in recruitment at UGA as a legacy. (I also attended UGA and am an alumni of a sorority on campus.)

When my daughter registered online, she did not complete the legacy information. She was in a hurry to meet the early registration deadline and didn’t have the information. We were not able to go back in and update it.

I wasn’t worried about it. She had two recommendations and a Legacy Introduction Form sent to the house-all clearly stating that she was a legacy.

She had a wonderful recruitment with a full schedule during all of the rounds. She attended three prefs including the sorority where I was initiated. She absolutely loved all three.

I don’t want to go into to many details but I thought I should offer a word of advice to other mothers out there. If I had said anything to my daughter before prefs, she may suicided my chapter and been left without a bid.

They did not know she was a legacy because she was not “in the computer”. Had she been “in the computer”, she may have been cut heavily in the early rounds.

BTW-She was initiated into a chapter where the girls are wonderful and she has found her home away from home. She is totally happy and I could not be more thrilled with the way things turned out.

Titchou · #27 08-13-2008, 06:11 PM

I would be willing to bet at UGA they all knew she was a legacy to your group whether she told them or not. In the south, we know these things - as a previous poster said!

Zillini · #28 08-13-2008, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I can testify to the importance of not bringing up your legacy status in conversation since I mentioned my active AOII sister at parties (I couldn't think of anything else to talk about since I'm nervous in those situations!) and was promptly cut despite a great application from every group...even the struggling chapter. I unknowingly gave off the impression that I was only interested in AOII from day 1. Not a good idea. Just having a legacy on your application is not going to hurt you at the vast majority of schools unless they include Bama, Georgia or any other big SEC school. Those recruitments are completely different!

P.S. If asked about your mother, stress that she wants you to be happy at the chapter that is right for YOU!

There's a huge difference between having an in-house active sister and a mom who graduated 18 years ago. Right or wrong, the assumption is the PNM wants to pledge where here sister is.

AOII Angel · #29 08-13-2008, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zillini

There's a huge difference between having an in-house active sister and a mom who graduated 18 years ago. Right or wrong, the assumption is the PNM wants to pledge where here sister is.

Of course that is true, but some chapters apparently will cut you for being a legacy. I cannot assume that I would have been cut regardless of my comments since my roommate was the sister of the KD president with worse grades than me and was not cut from all of the groups. She did pledge KD in the end, but she went to Phi Mu for prefs as well. No matter what your legacy is, talking about it too much without making sure your rusher knows you are keeping an open mind is not wise. People have certainly been cut for less.

uamomma · #30 08-14-2008, 10:01 PM

Do the sororities know who the PNM's are actually going back to for each round? Who their competition is? The PNM may have already cut their legacy chapter....or vice versa.