Recruitment annoyance

pinklion10 · #1 03-06-2008, 01:45 PM

One thing that's been happening to our chapter a lot in the COB period...

We give a girl a bid and she denies it, telling us she doesn't have time to commit to the house.

But then she goes and pledges another house.

WHY do girls do this? It's not like we aren't going to know she pledged somewhere else. And if someone would just say "No thanks, I'm not interested in your house, but I like another.", I know all of my sisters would be completely FINE with that. We just don't like being lied to.

One girl did this and then asked us what time our recruitment event the next day was, because she wanted to go. "I really like you guys," she said, but she'd denied a bid from us the week before. I had to explain to her that we liked her too, but she found a house that she felt she fit in with better, that she wasn't eligible to go to a recruitment event if she'd already been recruited.

:\

Senusret I · #2 03-06-2008, 01:53 PM

Help my little non-NPC self understand one teeny tiny thing:

I know it's possible to seek a bid from multiple sororities during COB, and that events can start off open and end up invite-only.

That said..... why would she keep coming around if she knew she wasn't interested?

pinklion10 · #3 03-06-2008, 01:58 PM

Who knows. My guess would be that she would like to spend time with the girls in my house (because a lot of us are friends with her), but... who knows.

We have a girl that has denied a bid from us several times, has not pledged any other house, but keeps coming to our events anyway - she said she wants to spend time with us. And since the events are open, there's not much we can do about her.

nittanyalum · #4 03-06-2008, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinklion10

Who knows. My guess would be that she would like to spend time with the girls in my house (because a lot of us are friends with her), but... who knows.

We have a girl that has denied a bid from us several times, has not pledged any other house, but keeps coming to our events anyway - she said she wants to spend time with us. And since the events are open, there's not much we can do about her.

Yes, there is. Tell her to stop coming to RECRUITMENT events. They are for PNMs. If she has already declined a bid (or several - ???) she is no longer a "P" anything, she shouldn't be coming around to rush events where you want to focus your time and attention on women who have serious interest in your house. Didn't this already get covered in another thread with you?

Consider the damage she can do while at your events. What if she starts chatting with other rushees and mentions how she's been bid (several times - ??) but didn't take it. What kind of impression will that make on others? And how does it look that you all just keep letting her come around anyway, even to what are essentially closed events (I realize you're having "open houses", but again, they are for RUSH, not just for anyone to stop by and have a snack and a chat).

Why would anyone think they need to go through the bother of pledging, paying dues, going to meetings, serving on committees, doing philanthropy, etc., when you all will just let people "who want to hang out with you" do just that, enjoy your chapter and your sisterhood without taking on ANY of the responsibility of real membership?

Sometimes being "selective" will increase the perception that your chapter must be "worth" joining. Cut off the moochers and let other women who really want to be a part of your house know you're serious about building your sisterhood with active members.

twinkle555 · #5 03-06-2008, 02:15 PM

I know what you mean pinklion! We had this girl that everyone was in love with during COB. Although, I never got to talk to her so I didnt feel as strongly as the other sisters.

Anyways, we offered her a bid and she told us she was going to wait and go through in the fall. Totally acceptable answer. Some of the sisters remained friends with her and invited her out to events/dinner/movies etc.

We were all really shocked to see her go to another sororities COB events later that week..the sisters close to her felt betrayed. However, she did not receive a bid (or maybe she told them she was waiting for fall too idk) to that sorority so Im interested to see if she ends up rushing in the fall.

twinkle555 · #6 03-06-2008, 02:18 PM

I agree with Nittany...this girl could cause your sorority to get a bad rap or something. Let her know that while you enjoy her company and you could perhaps hang out with her at other places, recruitment events are for girls that are interested in joining your sorority.

ForeverRoses · #7 03-06-2008, 02:56 PM

I hope this isn't a huge hjack, but...

For how long are bids good? Or how long does someone have to decide that they will accept or decline? I vaguely remember a girl that started the new member program with my class, decided to drop out, but then in the spring decided to take her bid back and ended up being initiated in the spring with that new member class. If I remember correctly, once you accepted a bid, it was good for a year (but maybe that was just our panhellenic rule).

33girl · #8 03-06-2008, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

Yes, there is. Tell her to stop coming to RECRUITMENT events. They are for PNMs. If she has already declined a bid (or several - ???) she is no longer a "P" anything, she shouldn't be coming around to rush events where you want to focus your time and attention on women who have serious interest in your house. Didn't this already get covered in another thread with you?

Yes it did. And I'll say again what I said there. DO NOT HAVE OPEN COB EVENTS. THEY SHOULD BE INVITE ONLY. Do not post them on your website, facebook, myspace or any other place where randoms can find out about them, and don't allow anyone in who has not been invited!

If you are being encouraged to have open COB events by an advisor, regional/national rush chair or anyone else higher up, tell them exactly what you've told us...I wager they'll tell you to stop. What's happening now is, plain and simple, making your chapter look ridiculous.

33girl · #9 03-06-2008, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

I hope this isn't a huge hjack, but...

For how long are bids good? Or how long does someone have to decide that they will accept or decline? I vaguely remember a girl that started the new member program with my class, decided to drop out, but then in the spring decided to take her bid back and ended up being initiated in the spring with that new member class. If I remember correctly, once you accepted a bid, it was good for a year (but maybe that was just our panhellenic rule).

We had this happen too (and I wish we could have taken the bid back, but that's another story) and yes, the bid is good for a year.

pinklion10 · #10 03-06-2008, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

Yes, there is. Tell her to stop coming to RECRUITMENT events. They are for PNMs. If she has already declined a bid (or several - ???) she is no longer a "P" anything, she shouldn't be coming around to rush events where you want to focus your time and attention on women who have serious interest in your house. Didn't this already get covered in another thread with you?

Consider the damage she can do while at your events. What if she starts chatting with other rushees and mentions how she's been bid (several times - ??) but didn't take it. What kind of impression will that make on others? And how does it look that you all just keep letting her come around anyway, even to what are essentially closed events (I realize you're having "open houses", but again, they are for RUSH, not just for anyone to stop by and have a snack and a chat).

Why would anyone think they need to go through the bother of pledging, paying dues, going to meetings, serving on committees, doing philanthropy, etc., when you all will just let people "who want to hang out with you" do just that, enjoy your chapter and your sisterhood without taking on ANY of the responsibility of real membership?

Sometimes being "selective" will increase the perception that your chapter must be "worth" joining. Cut off the moochers and let other women who really want to be a part of your house know you're serious about building your sisterhood with active members.

Sorry, I didn't clarify something. I invited her to this event earlier in the week when the P still applied to her. She said it sounded fun and she would probably go, but then pledged the other house the next day.

Also, I did suggested to the membership and PR committees that we close recruitment events and make them invite-only, but my suggestion was shot down. APPARENTLY because we just HAVE to get our name out there, and I even told membership that we looked desperate with the methods that we're using. It was good advice, but even the president agreed with them, so there's little else I can do.

nittanyalum · #11 03-06-2008, 03:44 PM

^^^I wasn't referring to the girl who declined your bid because of time constraints then went on to accept another COB bid. I'm sure she was just hedging her bets attending as many COBs as she could.

I'm talking about the 2nd girl you brought up, the one you also talked about in the other thread. You throw your hands up and say "we just can't do anything to keep her from coming over!" YES, you can, you just aren't. It doesn't matter if your COBs are "open houses," the 2nd girl who has declined several bids already should not in any way still be considered a "potential" anything to you and you shouldn't let her have all the fun of hanging around the house and chilling with the sisters (especially during your RUSH events) because she "wants to spend time with you." She's a freeloader and I guarantee she's told plenty of people how she's turned down your repeated bids, it will hurt you on campus. Tell her she may NOT come over during RUSH events. If she really wanted to 'spend time with you' that much, she'd have accepted a bid. Stop acting like you're helpless in controlling what happens in and around your chapter. If that's how you feel, that's how you're seen.

33girl · #12 03-06-2008, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinklion10

Also, I did suggested to the membership and PR committees that we close recruitment events and make them invite-only, but my suggestion was shot down. APPARENTLY because we just HAVE to get our name out there, and I even told membership that we looked desperate with the methods that we're using. It was good advice, but even the president agreed with them, so there's little else I can do.

Show them this thread.

Do some simple math - over a year, calculate # of girls that actually accepted bids divided by the number of girls that showed up to open events. It might wake them up to how much effort you all are exerting and how little you're getting in return.

Inviting everyone with an ovary to a COB event is NOT "getting your name out there" - there is a difference between recruitment and PR. Getting your name out is wearing letters, putting ads in the paper, meeting new people, putting on philanthropies.

skylark · #13 03-06-2008, 03:57 PM

pinklion:

I think I already suggested this in the other thread, but the way to get through to them is to have each one of them explain how they heard of your chapter and why they decided to accept a bid. Very few stories start out with "Well, I saw this poster that looked really cute and was advertising a COB event..."

And you may have to suggest this over and over until they get it. It may be two more years before the point comes across, but once you get the point across, hopefully it is wisdom that you can pass on for future girls so that they don't fall into the same misconception.

Getting your name out, by the way, doesn't happen through recruitment. Getting your name out is what you do by holding campus-wide social events or philanthropies.

violetpretty · #14 03-06-2008, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinklion10

One girl did this and then asked us what time our recruitment event the next day was, because she wanted to go. "I really like you guys," she said, but she'd denied a bid from us the week before. I had to explain to her that we liked her too, but she found a house that she felt she fit in with better, that she wasn't eligible to go to a recruitment event if she'd already been recruited.

During informal, a PNM can theoretically receive as many bids as there are chapters on your campus. Just because she was "recruited" by Phi Mu doesn't mean she can't take another chapter's bid if they offer her one. Unless by "recruited" you meant you offered her a bid, she signed something, and then she depledged. She can be offered a bid, decline, and be eligible for a bid from any other chapter. She can not be offered a bid, accept it, depledge and be eligible for a bid from another chapter.

The first PNM that took a bid from another chapter was just trying to think of a white lie. She didn't want to say to your faces, "I want to hold out for XYZ" or, "Phi Mu is my 2nd or 3rd choice."

And the other girl who has been offered a bid several times and mooches during recruitment events, talk to her and explain that she can spend time with sisters outside of recruitment events if she "just likes to spend time with you guys". Tell her that recruitment events are for women genuinely interested in joining the chapter. Tell her that if she cares about the women that she "likes to spend time with", she will care about the negative effect she is having on your chapter's recruitment and stop coming to recruitment events.

AnchorAlumna · #15 03-06-2008, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinklion10

Who knows. My guess would be that she would like to spend time with the girls in my house (because a lot of us are friends with her), but... who knows.

Sorry, just gotta say this: Declined a bid, not denied.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinklion10

We have a girl that has denied a bid from us several times, has not pledged any other house, but keeps coming to our events anyway - she said she wants to spend time with us. And since the events are open, there's not much we can do about her.

Here's a suggestion. Tell this girl you really enjoy her company and encourage her to continue, but nobody gets a free ride. Then give her a bill for her share of the parties!