Pregnant and in a sorority - Page 6

KappaKittyCat · #76 01-15-2008, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

when you joined Zeta, you were not pregnant so that financial burden was not present when you agreed to pay the required dues. You now have extenuating circumstances which I'm sure Zeta has encountered somewhere along the line. Fight for your right (no...not to party) to preserve your ZTA membership. ZTA for a lifetime wouldn't mean much if they and you didn't work to make it for a lifetime. Good luck getting early alum status. I think in some way you'd grow to regret your decision to drop out! Congratulations on your engagement and your future child!

And for what it's worth, when we had members resign during the school year, regardless of whether they dropped during the term or at the break, we made them pay dues for the remainder of the term - so you'd still have to pay dues for this term. Just a thought.

violetpretty · #77 01-15-2008, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KappaKittyCat

And for what it's worth, when we had members resign during the school year, regardless of whether they dropped during the term or at the break, we made them pay dues for the remainder of the term - so you'd still have to pay dues for this term. Just a thought.

Those members were likely withdrawing because they no longer cared to be a member. Being pregnant and wanting early alumna status is waaaaaay different.

FSUZeta · #78 01-15-2008, 10:05 PM

i think i may be repeating myself, but please call or email one of your advisors or go straight to i.o.-most likely your vp3 nor any other chapter officers are going to have the correct answer for you.

i believe that you could quickly get alum. status, thus not have to pay collegiate dues. you would not have to join an alumnae chapter, thus not have to pay alumnae dues(which by the way are usually around $35/40 per year). any time in the future that you wanted to join an alumnae chapter, you would be able to. we alums. never ask "where have you been for the past 10 years"-we are just happy to have you active when it works into your life.

i have given you advice via pm and in this thread. i do know what i am talking about-i have been an advisor for over 15 years . you are getting the same advice from members of other sororities. now it is up to you to act on that advice.

SthrnZeta · #79 01-15-2008, 10:49 PM

^^ Amen sister!!! ZL!

Thetagirl218 · #80 01-16-2008, 12:26 AM

Ztaberry, I sent you a private message that may help...

ztaberry28 · #81 01-16-2008, 12:50 AM

Ok I talked to our VP 3 and because Im not transferring, Im taking a semester off and because Im not married yet I cant go early alum so either I pay our dues (1500) and wait til then or I can drop and since its only the 2nd day of classes and our deadline for dues hasnt passed I dont have to pay the dues. Honestly I dont want to pay all that money for events Im not gonna attend and meals Im not gonna eat when I need to save it.

fantASTic · #82 01-16-2008, 01:11 AM

Wow, if I had to make that choice I'm afraid I would simply have to drop too. That's really awful that they won't help you out there. I know that must have been a hard choice but you have to do what is right for you..and wasting 1500 dollars is probably not in that category.

I'm sorry you had to make that decision.

lilzetakitten · #83 01-16-2008, 01:23 AM

I'd appeal that, because she's wrong. Pregnancy IS a reason to go alum early in ZTA. Talk to your GA, because I'd really hate to see a sister have to drop for this reason.

violetpretty · #84 01-16-2008, 01:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

i think i may be repeating myself, but please call or email one of your advisors or go straight to i.o.-most likely your vp3 nor any other chapter officers are going to have the correct answer for you.

i believe that you could quickly get alum. status, thus not have to pay collegiate dues. you would not have to join an alumnae chapter, thus not have to pay alumnae dues(which by the way are usually around $35/40 per year). any time in the future that you wanted to join an alumnae chapter, you would be able to. we alums. never ask "where have you been for the past 10 years"-we are just happy to have you active when it works into your life.

i have given you advice via pm and in this thread. i do know what i am talking about-i have been an advisor for over 15 years . you are getting the same advice from members of other sororities. now it is up to you to act on that advice.

Repeated for emphasis

violetpretty · #85 01-16-2008, 02:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ztaberry28

Ok I talked to our VP 3 and because Im not transferring, Im taking a semester off and because Im not married yet I cant go early alum so either I pay our dues (1500) and wait til then or I can drop and since its only the 2nd day of classes and our deadline for dues hasnt passed I dont have to pay the dues. Honestly I dont want to pay all that money for events Im not gonna attend and meals Im not gonna eat when I need to save it.

That doesn't make any sense. Why can you withdraw and not pay dues, but you can't go early alum and not pay dues? You really should appeal this "decision" to your advisory board.

FSUZeta · #86 01-16-2008, 08:41 AM

your vp3 is going by what the zta general manual says-in that respect she is correct. there is no contingency for pregnant members in the current manual.

in the past week, a similar situation has occured in the zta chapter where i was most recently an advisor, the exception being that the girls "sperm donor"* ditched the girl when she told him she was pregnant. i was consulted by the current advisors and our consensus was to grant this young woman early alum. status. the advisors contacted the national officer above them, who went to the vp-collegiate over the area where the chapter is located, and this member is being granted early alum. status.

and that is why i advised you to NOT go to your officers, but to go to your advisors, your province president OR direcly to i.o. just don't try to make zta the bad guy in this situation.

*i call him the sperm donor because he is not offering any kind of support whatsoever to this young woman

DaffyKD · #87 01-16-2008, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ztaberry28

i sent an email to our vp 3 about it asking for information to see if i have to pay dues for this semester if i wanna go early alum

The purpose of Early Alumna Status is so that a young lady can stay a member of the organization, but not have a financial burden. You should not have to pay the dues for this semester, but you will also be unable to participate in any of the activities with the collegiate members.

I would really like to encourage you to take Early Alumna Status vs. turning in your pin. You will still be a member of the organization, your daughters will still be legacy, you will still be able to join an alumnae group at any time in the future. Joining a sorority is for life, not just while you are in school. Embrace your alumnae sisters. You will find that many have kids the same age as your kids, you will find that some others took Early Alumna Status for the same reason. When you join an alumna group, they are so happy that younger members are joining that no one gives you any hassle "ooooh, you were pregnant while still in school." They care about you and love to share in the stories of your childrens' accomplishments. They will cheer you on some day if your daughter goes through recruitment.

Please talk to a member of your alumnae advisory board about going Alumnae Status, they are very versed in the requirements, and will encourage you. Please don't rush to turn in your pin, which is a decision you may come to regret someday.

DaffyKD

KappaKittyCat · #88 01-16-2008, 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Those members were likely withdrawing because they no longer cared to be a member. Being pregnant and wanting early alumna status is waaaaaay different.

I know. What I meant was that if she resigned because of money, she might still have to pay for the semester. She would've if she'd been in my chapter.

nittanyalum · #89 01-16-2008, 11:51 PM

Why does it seem like we are all much more concerned about this young lady remaining a Zeta Tau Alpha than SHE is?

skylark · #90 01-17-2008, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

Why does it seem like we are all much more concerned about this young lady remaining a Zeta Tau Alpha than SHE is?

I think one answer to this is because many of us have found extraordinarily rewarding alum experiences with our respective organizations and we might not have realized what we were giving up if we were in this young woman's position. It sounds like the "vp3" quoted something out of a membership guide that isn't really meant to be a biblical answer to every situation and HQ knows that and may regularly deal with these special situations in a different manner than what is spelled out in the membership guide. It would be a loss to any GLO for that org to lose out on someone permanently and not be able to use her as a future alum leader, advisor, etc. simply because she was put in a position where a well-meaning collegiate thought they only had a couple options and a simple call to an advisor or regional representative (please do this OP!) might present some other options.