Drop out or be persistent? - Page 3

FSUZeta · #31 09-25-2007, 09:32 AM

one more vote siding with the chapter. children should not be at sorority parties, chapter meetings or ritual. it's not fair to the children and it is selfish of you to expect your children to be able to sit still through ritual, chapter meetings and parties and selfish of you to expect the sorority members to put up with it.

UWO_2007 · #32 09-25-2007, 10:00 AM

I am a single parent, my son is 10 and I would NEVER consider bringing him to ANY event.... He has a sitter on the nights I have events. All my future sisters want to meet my son, but he has no place in a greek house or at greek events. There is a time and place for everything, and that is not it. If any of my future sisters want to meet him, they can come to my personal house, not my greek family house, on their own time, not GPB time. Meetins, rituals, etc... that is time for the sisterhood.... if they want to meet my biological family... they can come over for dinner one night, if not, that's ok too. But you need to get your priorities straight and realize what is best for your kids. When my son was younger (under 5) his biological father would take him to his fraternity house, and he would sleep there. I was Pi$$ed... he had no place being there... period, and I still feel the same way now when I am the one involved.

Drolefille · #33 09-25-2007, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UWO_2007

I am a single parent, my son is 10 and I would NEVER consider bringing him to ANY event.... He has a sitter on the nights I have events. All my future sisters want to meet my son, but he has no place in a greek house or at greek events. There is a time and place for everything, and that is not it. If any of my future sisters want to meet him, they can come to my personal house, not my greek family house, on their own time, not GPB time. Meetins, rituals, etc... that is time for the sisterhood.... if they want to meet my biological family... they can come over for dinner one night, if not, that's ok too. But you need to get your priorities straight and realize what is best for your kids. When my son was younger (under 5) his biological father would take him to his fraternity house, and he would sleep there. I was Pi$$ed... he had no place being there... period, and I still feel the same way now when I am the one involved.

Psst, you're a new member right? They're not your future sisters anymore

UWO_2007 · #34 09-25-2007, 10:16 AM

I know, but I'm not initiated yet, so I put future... I love my greek family... we all went to dinner last night before our fondue party.... I can honestly say even if I would not have gotten in, I think I would still end up being friends with this group....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Psst, you're a new member right? They're not your future sisters anymore

rhoyaltempest · #35 09-25-2007, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Green+White

I am currently a new member. Everything is all good except for one thing. I have two young children who I bring to chapter meetings, which people didn’t seem to mind at first. Then, we had our pledging ceremony, the president made my kids leave the room. I thought she was being quite rude. They cannot stay outside in the halls by themselves, they are too young. That defeats the purpose of bringing my kids to chapter meetings, I might as well leave them home alone.

Since then, some of the actives told me that my children are a distraction and they don’t belong at the meetings. They also said it is inappropriate to bring my kids to parties. Dear son and dear daughter are very well behaved. I don’t see what the problem is.

The actives are wearing on my nerves, sometimes I debate if I should even stick with this sorority. On the other hand, I’m really enjoying myself. What can I do to persuade the actives to let me bring my children around?

You have a lot of nerve to think this way. I'm in a grad (or alumni) chapter and plenty of the women are married with children but they don't bring their kids to chapter meetings and events all the time and definitely not to rituals and ceremonies. I can't believe you are so selfish. Do the feelings of your future sisters mean anything to you? My advice is to wait until your children are older or until you can get a babysitter and pursue the sorority at that time.

Buttonz · #36 09-25-2007, 10:48 AM

While I was active, we had two sisters with kids...including one that gave birth right after she was initatied. Both girls brought thier kids ONLY and I repeat, ONLY in an emragancy. Kids have no right being at a sorority meeting. Once in a blue moon, ok but every time? No way.

At times they had to miss events because of thier kids...once again, very rarely and in a blue moon.

Really, if you can't afford a babysitter maybe you should re-think paying dues

cuteASAbug · #37 09-25-2007, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UWO_2007

I know, but I'm not initiated yet, so I put future... I love my greek family... we all went to dinner last night before our fondue party.... I can honestly say even if I would not have gotten in, I think I would still end up being friends with this group....

Congratulations! That's what really counts. I'm happy for you.

twinkle555 · #38 09-25-2007, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

So, how about you skip the Tommy and Calvin Kline and Nautica and save the money for a babysitter??? If your kids are too young to stay by themselves, they're too young to be worried about whether they're wearing Ralph Lauren or Faded Glory.

amen!

UWO_2007 · #39 09-25-2007, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuteASAbug

Congratulations! That's what really counts. I'm happy for you.

That was one of the reasons they stayed my#1 all week... I just got the feeling like no matter what... they'd still be there.... if I made it into their sorority or not... they were honestly genuine....

Green+White · #40 09-25-2007, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kddani

Troll.

If not, someone call Child & Protective Services in OP's state. She has no business taking young children to greek parties.

It was only ONE party, and we left before midnight, when things tend to get rowdy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

So, how about you skip the Tommy and Calvin Kline and Nautica and save the money for a babysitter??? If your kids are too young to stay by themselves, they're too young to be worried about whether they're wearing Ralph Lauren or Faded Glory.

Funny you mentioned those name brands. What are you trying to imply? Racist!

Quote:

Originally Posted by als463

Personally, as a caseworker for Children & Youth-I agree....Why do parents think that because their child wears name brand clothes yet, they can't FEED them properly or care for their medical expenses then they must be great parents!!! After walking into more Deplorable home conditions than I can shake a stick at-I'm really disgusted at HOW MANY parents really need to re-prioritize. I have clients that can't afford a babysitter to ensure proper supervision so we don't go knocking on their door but, you better bet they have more food in their fridge and nicer clothes on their back than people with jobs, college degrees, etc.

If you can't balance both, it's not fair to the other girls-I agree with what has been said and I'm gonna' speak up-DROP OUT!!!

You wouldn't take your children to work with you (for the most part) so they could sit around and do nothing. So why would you take them to a sorority event. I applaud you for wanting to get involved but, if you have to choose between feeding your kids and finding them proper supervision over paying sorority dues-then you better take care of your kids....other wise-if you were in my county-I'd come knocking at your door making you sign a safety agreement or placing your children because you obviously think it's okay to take them to sorority events (which I'm sure we all know SOME EVENTS have alcohol)....and if you're doing anything inappropriate around your children-eventually you will have a caseworker knocking at your door....Trust me....

I would also be angry if I did caseworking for a living...

Don't worry about alcohol and inappropriate behavior, again I only took them to ONE party! It was the first and last. Don't tell me that none of you never took your kids to an all adult party before.

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTW

Bolded, underlined, italicized, Size 7-ed.

Do yourself and the chapter a favor.

DROP OUT.

That was uncalled for. I am not blind, my four year old can write smaller than that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Reality check! Green+white...I can assure you that no matter how perfect you think your kids are, no one else thinks so. Apparently they are causing more of a problem than you think! As for the pledge ceremony....it is ritual...it is private, and as a pledge, you have no right to make judgements otherwise. Accept what the leaders of your sorority have told you or quit. It's that simple!

Quote:

Originally Posted by SydneyK

I'm going to respond, even though I'm sure everyone who has called you a troll is right.

For that matter, why isn't your pledging ceremony open to the rest of campus? Why not invite your whole family to attend? It is considered closed because it is the first time NMs are welcomed, officially, to the practices of the sisterhood. It isn't meant for anyone other than initiated sisters and those who will someday be the same. Your kids weren't extended a bid, so the pledging ceremony isn't for them.

I beg to differ. When it comes to participation in a sorority, your priorities should include your sisters' (in your case, your future sisters') feelings. It doesn't appear that you're doing that.

If you cannot afford a babysitter during sorority functions, you shouldn't be going to sorority functions. Simple as that. Kids don't have any business being there, and it diminishes the experience for all the women who did get a babysitter (or don't have kids). You're being unfair... to everyone... including your kids.

Personally, I think pledge rituals should be open to our family and other non-members. It is such a beautiful ceremony. Do you think weddings should be private?

Quote:

Originally Posted by amanda6035

Good lord, this reminds me of my new member (colony) period. We had a 37 year old single mom who pledged with us. Which was fine and good. But instead of acting like a sister, she acted like our Mom. And anytime we tried to make plans, do socials, plan events "I cant, I have to take care of my daughter, that time isn't good for me, blah blah blah." It was always about her daughter. She depledged not too long afterwards...and then tried to join an NPHC. I hear that didnt go too well either.

I agree with the other folks, Get your priorities in line: Your children. The members of the sorority jou joined (notice, i did not call them your sisters) want women they can call a sister - not someone who's going to bring her kids to chapter meetings. if you want something like that, find a playgroup and mingle with the parents there.

These women are in college - they want to experience college for themselves - rather than having to worry about being a babysitter. I'm sure if they wanted screaming brats around all the time, they would have had some of their own already.

No disrespect to women who join orgs as older women - I was 23 when I joined....but those women should know their boundaries. I would have been PISSED if I had joined an organization that expected me to make my plans based around some woman's child(ren). I went to college to live life for me - not someone else.

Speaking of age, I am 23 also. While some of the sisters may be leaders, the majority are YOUNGER (and less wise) than I am. Hopefully when they get older, they will understand where I'm coming from.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

one more vote siding with the chapter. children should not be at sorority parties, chapter meetings or ritual. it's not fair to the children and it is selfish of you to expect your children to be able to sit still through ritual, chapter meetings and parties and selfish of you to expect the sorority members to put up with it.

Folks, the sisters and other pledges LOVE my children. They play and converse with them all the time. They are NOT just "putting up with it".

THEY ONLY BEEN TO ONE PARTY AND ONE RITUAL. You girls act like I do this constantly.

To avoid risk mangagement issues that you all mentioned, I guess I will compromise here. I will find babysitters when those events come up in the future. But I still don't see what's the problem with my children coming to chapter meetings. I will have ONE more talk with my chapter president, if she says "no", I guess I will go inactive until I find someone to take care of my children.

AlphaFrog · #41 09-25-2007, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Green+White

It was only ONE party, and we left before midnight, when things tend to get rowdy.

Funny you mentioned those name brands. What are you trying to imply? Racist!

I would also be angry if I did caseworking for a living...

Don't worry about alcohol and inappropriate behavior, again I only took them to ONE party! It was the first and last. Don't tell me that none of you never took your kids to an all adult party before.

That was uncalled for. I am not blind, my four year old can write smaller than that.

Personally, I think pledge rituals should be open to our family and other non-members. It is such a beautiful ceremony. Do you think weddings should be private?

Speaking of age, I am 23 also. While some of the sisters may be leaders, the majority are YOUNGER (and less wise) than I am. Hopefully when they get older, they will understand where I'm coming from.

Folks, the sisters and other pledges LOVE my children. They play and converse with them all the time. They are NOT just "putting up with it".

THEY ONLY BEEN TO ONE PARTY AND ONE RITUAL. You girls act like I do this constantly.

To avoid risk mangagement issues that you all mentioned, I guess I will compromise here. I will find babysitters when those events come up in the future. But I still don't see what's the problem with my children coming to chapter meetings.

Okay...this is not even DITY?

This is DTIY!!! - Dionysus, This IS You!!!!

lilzetakitten · #42 09-25-2007, 11:55 AM

Ok, I saw this and I had to respond.

I'm the ritual chair for my chapter. Why are our rituals closed despite the fact that we don't necessarily learn secrets? Because they're ours. Because it really is not as big of a deal to anyone who is not a member. Because it is our privilege as sisters to be able to see it. As the ritual chair, I can honestly say that I really do not want people at the ritual who don't care at all about what is going on. This is a private and beautiful ceremony, one where you take initial vows to your sorority. If someone is not taking those vows, or has not taken those vows, they shouldn't be seeing ritual. Period. They have not received that right.

As for comparing it to a wedding, a wedding is a public announcement of your vows to your spouse. A pledging ceremony is not.

UWO_2007 · #43 09-25-2007, 12:00 PM

it's amazing how she doesn't see the point.... regardless of if they accept your kids or like your kids... IT IS NOT THE PLACE FOR CHILDREN... and honey... I'm older than you so maybe in a few years, you'll see where everyone else is coming from too....

Oh, and my son wears Tommy, CK, etc.... brand names has nothing to do with race...

SydneyK · #44 09-25-2007, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Green+White

Funny you mentioned those name brands. What are you trying to imply? Racist!

What?!? You're crazy. Seriously, you're just... crazy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Green+White

Don't tell me that none of you never took your kids to an all adult party before.

I have never taken my kids to an all adult party before. And I never will. That's why those parties are called ADULT parties. Kids aren't adults. Therefore, they don't belong at all adult parties. You're in college, you should be able to figure that out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Green+White

Personally, I think pledge rituals should be open to our family and other non-members. It is such a beautiful ceremony. Do you think weddings should be private?

Weddings ARE private. The only people who attend are those who were invited. Initiation ceremonies are beautiful, too. By your logic, anyone who wants to see something beautiful should be able to attend any ritual.

Drolefille · #45 09-25-2007, 12:06 PM

DTIY