Deltas I truly need ya'll help

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

I think that wearing sexuality on your sleeve is subjective.

If I ask a Brother what he did last weekend, and he mentioned he went to the movies with his girlfriend, that's not wearing his sexuality on his sleeve.

But if a Brother asks me the same thing, and I mention my boyfriend*, then straight people perceive that as wearing my sexuality on my sleeve.

I'm not saying you're saying that, but that's the perception of straight brothers who wish I'd just shut up. All I'm doing is living my life normally without regard to pronouns.


*Senusret I is single and is, in fact, taking applications.

Indeed.

[mccoyred]

I guess my problem with this situation is that why wait until AFTER you have your letters? If you truly bonded during MIP, this would have come out then and you would know that they accept you for who you are.

I find the timing of the coming out disturbing but don't think that I am excusing their mean behavior.

[dzdst796]

Homophobia In The House!!! I figure that you came Out because you felt comfortable enough with them to do so. Unfortunately you did not get the response that you expected.
All I can say is that as long as you are comfortable with who you are screw everyone else. This is not a Delta issue this is personal issue that just came to light because of Delta. Be proud of who you are. For all you know some of your LS might be lesbian as well.

Take care.

YID

[DSTRen13]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

I'm not saying you're saying that, but that's the perception of straight brothers who wish I'd just shut up. All I'm doing is living my life normally without regard to pronouns.

I think I speak for quite a few GC'ers when I say that I'm very glad that you don't just shut up

[Senusret I]

^^^ Thank you.

[RedefinedDiva]

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT condoning any of their behavior, nor would I react in such a way, but in approximately 15-18 months, people will be paying me to play Devil's Advocate, so I like to take advantage of practice opportunities.

With that said....

I would like to ask what your relationship was like with your line sisters prior to coming out to them. Maybe you jumped the gun or maybe they felt deceived by your lack of honesty when it may have been warranted.

Even though the bonds of sisterhood may be strong, some people may still be faced with those barriers of not revealing all about themselves up front. Some people, especially women, need time to get to know you before they "tell you all their business." Contrary to popular belief, being "on line" with someone does NOT make you instant best friends. And though YOU may feel comfortable with these people, the feeling may not be reciprocal.

The converse may also be true. Depending on how long you have known your line sisters and the experiences that you may have shared, they may be reacting to the fact that you waited all this time to tell them. I know some of the experiences and information that my line sisters and I have shared from the day we met, and I would be HIGHLY pissed if one of them waited until NOW to tell me that they were a lesbian! Also, as someone previously stated, they may be questioning your motives and integrity in that you decided to reserve coming out for AFTER you became a Delta.

None of us can state why they are choosing to put your business out like that. Maybe for some of the same reasons that sites like dontdatehim.com are popular. A person gets hurt or angry and doesn't know how to react. They need some other people the support and validate their anger. I also remember the person that I was in undergrad. Though I was mature and better raised, I can't necessarily say that I would have been above the behavior. With the right kind of support (which sounds to be campus-wide), I could see how easily I could have gotten swept up into keeping some mess going. You're dealing with 18, 19, 20 or so year old chicks. I know some grow azz 25+ year olds in LAW SCHOOL that pop off drama like high schoolers, so I put nothing past anyone.

Just live your life and do you.

[mulattogyrl]

Originally Posted by dzdst796

All I can say is that as long as you are comfortable with who you are screw everyone else.

That's what I basically said in a PM. Leave it to my prophyte to tell it like it is, LOL!

[ColorfulCre8ion]

Originally Posted by mccoyred

I guess my problem with this situation is that why wait until AFTER you have your letters? If you truly bonded during MIP, this would have come out then and you would know that they accept you for who you are.

Originally Posted by RedefinedDiva

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT condoning any of their behavior, nor would I react in such a way, but in approximately 15-18 months, people will be paying me to play Devil's Advocate, so I like to take advantage of practice opportunities.

With that said....

I would like to ask what your relationship was like with your line sisters prior to coming out to them. Maybe you jumped the gun or maybe they felt deceived by your lack of honesty when it may have been warranted.

Even though the bonds of sisterhood may be strong, some people may still be faced with those barriers of not revealing all about themselves up front. Some people, especially women, need time to get to know you before they "tell you all their business." Contrary to popular belief, being "on line" with someone does NOT make you instant best friends. And though YOU may feel comfortable with these people, the feeling may not be reciprocal. I know some of the experiences and information that my line sisters and I have shared from the day we met, and I would be HIGHLY pissed if one of them waited until NOW to tell me that they were a lesbian! Also, as someone previously stated, they may be questioning your motives and integrity in that you decided to reserve coming out for AFTER you became a Delta.

Thanks everyone for your advice and encouragement. I know someone mentioned why I waited until after MIP to disclose this information. It's really hard to explain timing of coming "out" to people. Fortunetly, straight people don't have to face this because immediately at birth everyone is assumed to be heterosexual. I did not lie or mislead my sands in anyway. This is who I am and I wanted them to know because I also have a girlfriend on campus. Again I cannot apologize or change who i am, this is me. But I am so thankful to know that I am not alone, and that are some wonderful people on GC who have been great support.

(I bolded that statement because I don't understand what someone's sexuality has anything to do with you. Please believe that lesbians rarely fall in love with people who are not lesbians or just any random female. We can control emotions and desires just like heterosexuals.
Wow that comment really disturbed me.)

[pinkies up]

I would hate it if my sands turned their backs on me, especially since you're only as strong as your weakest link anyway. Remember, you pledged the sorority, and not the chapter. You made a vow to uphold your organization and to work towards the goals of that organization. I can't imagine what you're going through (remember those words-going through). Just know that it will pass and you will learn a lot about yourself while dealing with this. Best of luck.

[treblk]

Originally Posted by ColorfulCre8ion

Thanks everyone for your advice and encouragement. I know someone mentioned why I waited until after MIP to disclose this information. It's really hard to explain timing of coming "out" to people. Fortunetly, straight people don't have to face this because immediately at birth everyone is assumed to be heterosexual. I did not lie or mislead my sands in anyway. This is who I am and I wanted them to know because I also have a girlfriend on campus. Again I cannot apologize or change who i am, this is me. But I am so thankful to know that I am not alone, and that are some wonderful people on GC who have been great support.

(I bolded that statement because I don't understand what someone's sexuality has anything to do with you. Please believe that lesbians rarely fall in love with people who are not lesbians or just any random female. We can control emotions and desires just like heterosexuals.
Wow that comment really disturbed me.)

I think you took the bolded statement from RD the wrong way. I believe that that statement was in reference to building a bond with someone for months or years and they wait to tell you their sexual preference. It almost seems as though that bond you both have built was not strong enough to warrant an expression such as your sexual preference.

[ColorfulCre8ion]

Originally Posted by treblk

I think you took the bolded statement from RD the wrong way. I believe that that statement was in reference to building a bond with someone for months or years and they wait to tell you their sexual preference. It almost seems as though that bond you both have built was not strong enough to warrant an expression such as your sexual preference.

Oh ok gotcha. Again when telling someone you are gay....that takes a lot of personal and psychological stress. I mean imagine telling my parents who love me and claim to always love me and then say they have nothing to do with me. You never know what to expect when you come 'out' so who know when the right time is to do it. I also told my sands because I wanted them to hear from me and not later down the road when they find out I have a girlfriend or someone sees me at a gay bar.

[DSTinguished1]

Wow, this is sad. Like everyone said there is no excuse for their behavior. I currently work for Residence Life so hearing that people are acting like this on a college campus, really disturbs me.

Originally Posted by ColorfulCre8ion

I am now known on my campus as 'THE GAY DELTA.' It has become the joke in pro-shows and all over the yard.

~Yours Truly~
'ColorfulCre8ions'

But what really disturbs me MORE than anything else is the line about you being teased at Pro-shows?!?!?! WTH? What are they saying and doing? Whose pro-show? Like WHAT? This seems sooooo childish for grown folks to be acting like this. I am so sorry this is going on. I would aslo suggest seeking encouragment from some LGBT organization on your campus. Take care Soror!





Where is MamaBuddah?

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by DSTinguished1

Where is MamaBuddah?

MamaBuddha would go to that campus and kick they @$$.

I was looking for her number, but I can't find her card.

[dzdst796]

WOW. Let us not get it twisted there are many people in all the BGLO's that don't have the courage to stand up for themselves and COME OUT OF THE CLOSET. IMO it would not have mattered when she came OUT to them. Also it was her choice. What is the big damn deal anyway? She is who she is.
I personally think that her line sisters are just a bunch of idiots. Her sexuality does not make her any less of a Delta than any of us.

Soror just take care of you and be proud to be the woman that you are and a Delta. They will get over it and if they don't to bad for them.

[treblk]

Originally Posted by ColorfulCre8ion

Oh ok gotcha. Again when telling someone you are gay....that takes a lot of personal and psychological stress. I mean imagine telling my parents who love me and claim to always love me and then say they have nothing to do with me. You never know what to expect when you come 'out' so who know when the right time is to do it. I also told my sands because I wanted them to hear from me and not later down the road when they find out I have a girlfriend or someone sees me at a gay bar.

I just wanted to make this point. You are upset about the reaction of your ls's to your coming out and you wante them to welcome you with open arms, but here you stated that your own parents didn't want anything to do with you after you came out to them. Now, I'on know about anyone else, but if my parents are having a hard time with this, what would make me think my ls's would be different? Hang in there, because I am sure it is difficult for you.