How NOT to be dismissed...

[als463]

Because I'm a sorority member and know very little about Fraternity recruitment...would someone mind explaining to me what someone SHOULD wear for Rush parties???

My boyfriend and I have talked about it (because he is looking to rush) and both of us are clueless. He is looking at schools in the North. He is mainly looking at Ivy League and Big 10 Universities. Any help would be great!

1.) How should you dress/ what should you wear?
2.) What should you avoid wearing at all costs?

3.) Should he talk about the great community service he's helped my sorority with or should he completely not talk about that at all?

4.) Should he talk about military service?

5.) Should he talk about honors awards and having a high GPA or will the guys look at him like someone who only cares about academics and can't just chill?

6.) What are some great topics to discuss and what is considered "taboo"?

I've read through the other threads and I'm learning a little more as I go-like the "Walking a PNM out"...we are trying to avoid being "walked out"...How do you know if they just aren't into you? My bf is very reserved-not snobbish-just pretty laid back....I was just wondering....any advice (from women or men) would be great!

[KSUViolet06]

I would think that this would vary by school. Not all Big 10 schools are the same, and neither are all of the Ivies. The 2 conferences are also drastically different from each other.

[nate2512]

Originally Posted by als463

Because I'm a sorority member and know very little about Fraternity recruitment...would someone mind explaining to me what someone SHOULD wear for Rush parties???

My boyfriend and I have talked about it (because he is looking to rush) and both of us are clueless. He is looking at schools in the North. He is mainly looking at Ivy League and Big 10 Universities. Any help would be great!

1.) How should you dress/ what should you wear?
2.) What should you avoid wearing at all costs?

3.) Should he talk about the great community service he's helped my sorority with or should he completely not talk about that at all?

4.) Should he talk about military service?

5.) Should he talk about honors awards and having a high GPA or will the guys look at him like someone who only cares about academics and can't just chill?

6.) What are some great topics to discuss and what is considered "taboo"?

I've read through the other threads and I'm learning a little more as I go-like the "Walking a PNM out"...we are trying to avoid being "walked out"...How do you know if they just aren't into you? My bf is very reserved-not snobbish-just pretty laid back....I was just wondering....any advice (from women or men) would be great!

I'll venture out and guess that he's probably somewhere around 23-25?

[als463]

Originally Posted by nate2512

I'll venture out and guess that he's probably somewhere around 23-25?

And you would be right...I know that PhiGam started a "Biggest Rush Mistakes" thread and it was GREAT but, it became too long when people started talking about discriminating or something...I just wanted a candid look at what should and should not be worn...what should and should not be said....

When he rushes he will probably be 25-26 (but, he served time overseas)...As a woman-I don't know much about what name brands you guys like to wear and what ones are considered stupid or lame. I noticed you guys talked about A&F and Hollister but, he owns a lot of Ralph Lauren and Chaps polos...He likes Tommy Hilfiger and Nautica tops, as well. Are Khakis okay (northern, mainly) and what kind of shoes???

Do guys look at "lables" the way some girls might? Would it be bad if he began talking to a girl at the rush events (if there are any there) and he mentioned his g/f was in a sorority-even if that NPC is not at his campus where he is now rushing??? Give me the good-bad and ugly-ANYONE can answer these...so, please feel free to discuss away!

[Elephant Walk]

Originally Posted by als463

And you would be right...I know that PhiGam started a "Biggest Rush Mistakes" thread and it was GREAT but, it became too long when people started talking about discriminating or something...I just wanted a candid look at what should and should not be worn...what should and should not be said....

When he rushes he will probably be 25-26 (but, he served time overseas)...As a woman-I don't know much about what name brands you guys like to wear and what ones are considered stupid or lame. I noticed you guys talked about A&F and Hollister but, he owns a lot of Ralph Lauren and Chaps polos...He likes Tommy Hilfiger and Nautica tops, as well. Are Khakis okay (northern, mainly) and what kind of shoes???

Do guys look at "lables" the way some girls might? Would it be bad if he began talking to a girl at the rush events (if there are any there) and he mentioned his g/f was in a sorority-even if that NPC is not at his campus where he is now rushing??? Give me the good-bad and ugly-ANYONE can answer these...so, please feel free to discuss away!

Depends on region.

I won't comment further because we know what kind of talk it'll turn into.

[nate2512]

Yeah she has already said it is north.

The topic of dress is very vague, it depends on what kind of rush events he is going to and such things like that. You went to Penn St. so you should know better than us(the southern guys) as to what fraternities wear up there, I'm really not sure. And I sure can't tell you what kind of shoes because apparently boat shoes are not proper attire in the north. If there are girls there, he should show himself able to interact with girls and not act a complete ass, but on the other hand, he shouldn't devote the entire time to that either. But once again, different rush events call for different tactics.

I'll now step aside and hopefully the northern guys can tackle this one.

[GooniePDT49]

Originally Posted by nate2512

Yeah she has already said it is north.

The topic of dress is very vague, it depends on what kind of rush events he is going to and such things like that. You went to Penn St. so you should know better than us(the southern guys) as to what fraternities wear up there, I'm really not sure. And I sure can't tell you what kind of shoes because apparently boat shoes are not proper attire in the north. If there are girls there, he should show himself able to interact with girls and not act a complete ass, but on the other hand, he shouldn't devote the entire time to that either. But once again, different rush events call for different tactics.

I'll now step aside and hopefully the northern guys can tackle this one.

Just make sure he's not wear a plaad shirt, overalls, or a straw hat. I'd lose the chewing tobacco as well.

[magichat]

Originally Posted by nate2512

boat shoes are not proper attire in the north.

Thats not entirely true, it depends on where in the north. Areas near the water tend to be perfectly fine for boat shoes.

[EE-BO]

Being from the South, I cannot comment on attire either- but in the interests of being truthful, if blunt, the age issue is going to be the first hurdle to overcome.

There is much talk here about the southern houses and how "superficial" we are- but the fact is that applies at any campus with a strong Greek system. Any fraternity at any campus in high demand will have more candidates than it needs coming through as freshmen straight from high school- and so in that circumstance anyone who does not fit that standard life path is going to have a very hard time getting in.

The best advice I can offer is to have your friend visit the campuses where he might attend (or if he is still in service have someone visit for him) and just observe what Greeks are wearing. Look for letters and also look at who is coming and going from the top houses on those campuses.

Figuring out the right attire is not that difficult- but having to go to great effort to figure out the right attire at a competitive campus is in and of itself a bit of a warning sign because there will be little room for those not coming from a background where "they know" to succeed in rush.

[Hamburglar]

as probably the only ivy league greek on this forum (and if there's another, feel free to correct me). I can assure you that for even Penn and Dartmouth, who have Greek systems far stronger than the rest, at most ivies, the greek systems are not very strong, or often somewhat underground (cough Princeton cough). As far as I know (and obviously I can't speak much about other Ivies) as long as you aren't dressed like a wacko, it really doesn't make a difference what you're wearing, and if it does, it won't be drastically different from the general campus culture for attire. It's more about who you are. Obviously what you wear is somewhat defining about you, but I think it's more about style than labels. A 2 button polo shirt and khakis (and actually other than our semi-formal bid party, I never wore khakis once during rush) from Ralph Lauren will be received in the same manner as the same outfit from the Gap. Also keep in mind that most Ivies have a spring rush, meaning that the brothers will be seeing/meeting you for an entire semester before rush even officially begins.

Originally Posted by Hamburglar

as probably the only ivy league greek on this forum (and if there's another, feel free to correct me). I can assure you that for even Penn and Dartmouth, who have Greek systems far stronger than the rest, at most ivies, the greek systems are not very strong, or often somewhat underground (cough Princeton cough). As far as I know (and obviously I can't speak much about other Ivies) as long as you aren't dressed like a wacko, it really doesn't make a difference what you're wearing, and if it does, it won't be drastically different from the general campus culture for attire. It's more about who you are. Obviously what you wear is somewhat defining about you, but I think it's more about style than labels. A 2 button polo shirt and khakis (and actually other than our semi-formal bid party, I never wore khakis once during rush) from Ralph Lauren will be received in the same manner as the same outfit from the Gap. Also keep in mind that most Ivies have a spring rush, meaning that the brothers will be seeing/meeting you for an entire semester before rush even officially begins.

Don't know about the men, but I know there are several Ivy League sorority alumnae who post here frequently.

[nittanyalum]

I had a strange sense of deja vu about this thread... http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=86211

And clothing-wise, you've seen the guys at PSU, jeans, khakis, sweaters, polos, sweatshirts, they're all acceptable. My brother was greek in an ivy league and they dressed just like our guys did. Nice jeans or khakis and a button down shirt or polo will work anywhere, anytime.

[als463]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

I had a strange sense of deja vu about this thread... http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=86211

And clothing-wise, you've seen the guys at PSU, jeans, khakis, sweaters, polos, sweatshirts, they're all acceptable. My brother was greek in an ivy league and they dressed just like our guys did. Nice jeans or khakis and a button down shirt or polo will work anywhere, anytime.

Yeah-that was me...Initially I was asking what people would think about him rushing (age wise and stuff)...now, I just want to know (after reading PhiGam's "Biggest Rush Mistakes" thread) what should and should not be worn or said. As a woman-I could talk your ear off for days if you ask me--but, he's not like that. If any of my cousins wanted to go through sorority recruitment, I could give advice...this, however-I'm LOST!!!

I think it was VioletPretty who showed me the difference between both the polos....I honestly never would have thought stripes or anything would have been bad but, now that everyone is saying to stick to solids-we'll make sure he does that.

When you say Khakis-do you mean they can have pockets on the sides (like cargos)? Excuse me everyone for being a bit confused...I can help him look for shirts but, with pants/ shorts-I"m clueless. All these responses are great and I look forward to ANY advice about the entire process.

[EE-BO]

I appreciate your attention to detail, but the degree of detail concerns me in this case. Stripes versus solids and style of khaki pants is splitting hairs that would even be going overboard for a school like Georgia where wardrobe is ridiculously important. Granted, certain stripes and certain cargo pants would be very bad, but this is again something that should be readily known to him and to you instinctively.

It helps to a certain extent to figure out what is expected before rush, but while I think you have good intentions- I do think you are getting too detailed out of a desire to do right.

Overall your best bet is to play it safe and then let him see how he does. How do you play it safe?,

1. Polo = Ralph Lauren. Go with Ralph Lauren across the board. Nationwide, it is the safest bet.

2. Go with basic colors- nothing flashy. Look at this guy, figure out what solid colors look good on him, and just get that.

3. Classic tailoring. For shorts, get mid-length with straight lines or pleats and avoid casual looks with excess pockets etc. Go for what you would want your husband to wear to a country club luncheon.

I think if you stick with these 3 basic ideas, you can deal with wardrobe very quickly and not make this guy stress out over what he is wearing.

Remember this, you cannot teach someone overnight to "dress like a fraternity guy". All you can do is help him pick out stuff that makes him look nice- and then let the fraternities decide if he is worthy. Who he is will be the final deciding factor, and whether he dresses true to his personality/outlook will come through no matter how nice a package you create with his clothes.

[violetpretty]

The stripes vs. solid isn't as big of a deal. What those examples pointed out was the big "HOLLISTER" and logo sewn with the "vintage distressed" raw edges versus a small embroidered logo. The former are trendy and wouldn't fly at Southern, traditional campuses (though they may be fine in the Big 10 or Ivy League). Do you see the difference between trendy and classic?

You can't go wrong at any school with a solid color classic polo and khaki dress pants. That doesn't mean that the dress code won't be more liberal and relaxed elsewhere, it was just sort of an "if in doubt..." suggestion.