Are your dating standards too high or too low?

cheerfulgreek · #1 02-04-2008, 03:40 PM

Are your dating standards too high or too low? Do you think you need to push them up a few notches because you're not happy, or lower them because you're tired of being alone? Pick a category and why?

Very High: You won't date anyone who is lacking any of the qualities you want in a guy/girl, so you would rather die alone if you can't have what you want. (unrealistic)

High: He/she has to have most of the qualities you want.

Medium High: He/she has to have some of the qualities you want.

Medium: You're not as happy as you would like to be, but you tend to write down the good points and the bad points to compare. If the good out weighs the bad, then you're o.k. with him/her.

Low: You're not happy at all, but you've been screwed over/cheated on so many times that you'll deal with this guy/girl because he/she is faithful to you.

Very Low: You just don't want to be lonely. You love companionship so much that you don't care, as long as you two are together.

Last but not least. At this point in your life do you feel you need to raise your standards or lower them?

LetItGo · #2 02-04-2008, 04:00 PM

I think mine are b/w high and medium/high...but that's only because I have done the low and very low. It just doesn't make sense to have qualities you want in a mate and don't stick with 'em.

PrettyBoy · #3 02-05-2008, 04:32 AM

I've done the low all my life until I got tired of it....see my red flag list. It hasn't changed.

NinjaPoodle · #4 02-05-2008, 05:03 AM

Mine are very high.

cheerfulgreek · #5 02-05-2008, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I've done the low all my life until I got tired of it....No need to see my red flag list because it's stupid and unrealistic, so I changed it.

There. I fixed it for ya.

PrettyBoy · #6 02-05-2008, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

There. I fixed it for ya.

Girl please.

DSTCHAOS · #7 02-05-2008, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Girl please.

Is there some off-the-board drama that you two need to keep to yourselves?

christiangirl · #8 02-06-2008, 04:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Girl please.

Well, aren't you just the most popular kid in school? I told you...border of identity theft. Always.

My standards are high, but I believe I hold myself to higher standards than I'd hold anyone else to. I expect a lot of myself, so I give leeway to others because I can't expect everyone I date (or everyone I interact with period) to act according to my way of life. However, if I'm looking at someone to be my life partner, then some things I won't waiver on. I'm a good woman and I deserve the best fit life has to offer me. In other words, I don't have to compromise for a 20 when my 80 is out there--and after I wade through all these busted up 20s, I have a feeling that 80 is gonna feel like 110.

Scandia · #9 02-05-2008, 08:53 AM

Mine are high.

Better high than low. Lowering (or worse- dropping) your standards in order to have somebody only makes things worse. It leaves lasting damage that is NOT easy to cure.

cheerfulgreek · #10 02-05-2008, 12:42 PM

Mine are also high. I think people who set their standards too low may have some sort of low self esteem.

KSig RC · #11 02-05-2008, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Mine are also high. I think people who set their standards too low may have some sort of low self esteem.

Note that this also works in the reverse - people with incredibly high standards often are doing this to "protect" themselves against rejection, awkwardness, or etc. so they don't have to actually talk to the opposite sex in any substantive fashion.

cheerfulgreek · #12 02-05-2008, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSig RC

Note that this also works in the reverse - people with incredibly high standards often are doing this to "protect" themselves against rejection, awkwardness, or etc. so they don't have to actually talk to the opposite sex in any substantive fashion.

What??? You totally lost me.

Please explain.

DSTCHAOS · #13 02-05-2008, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

What??? You totally lost me.

Please explain.

Many people have unrealistic standards so that they will never be met. When their standards are never met, they can justify their loneliness (anger, bitterness, etc.) based on "well...I guess my standards are high"/"there aren't any good men/women/"I keep to myself because no one's worth it."

It's often about a fear of rejection or compromise. You never allow yourself to compromise with someone who is worth it and you're afraid to be rejected if you do compromise.

Fleur de Lis · #14 02-05-2008, 01:00 PM

Mine are (or were - I'm married) very high. That might seem unrealistic, and it's true I didn't date a lot, but I would much rather be alone than waste time on someone who isn't perfect for me. I liked being single and the freedom that came with it, had lots of guy friends, and didn't spend a lot of time on broken hearts. Everyone has flaws, but why settle for less than the best?

Coramoor · #15 02-05-2008, 01:27 PM

Currenty...how about No standards? What I wouldn't do for some female company to offset being around soldiers all day everyday...

When not surrounded by dudes all the time, I'd set my dating standards as high. Just hooking up...well, I'm don't discriminate as much then. To date a girl though, I don't expect her to be perfect but if I'm not attracted to her, find her interesting, and tolerate any quirks she may have...why bother?