Are we open to women with children?

[bejazd]

Let me try to take this topic in a more positive direction.

Are we sorority women really open to the idea that older students, some who may be parents, can be members and have a positive collegiate membership experience? I'm not too sure about that, except on non-traditional campuses. I don't think we're totally there yet.

My dad was in a fraternity at USC late 1950s and had many brothers who were Korean war vets who were married with children. My husband also had Fraternity brothers in mid80s who were vets and some that were just much older students. It didn't seem to be a big issue at all. But I couldn't picture a woman of any age married or with kids in a sorority during my collegiate years. is it really any different today?

any thoughts??? (please no veering off on parenting issues.)

[1908Revelations]

I do not see anything wrong with woman who have children belonging to sororities. I think about it is terms of there are active, productive members of graduate/alumnae chapters who have children. A new Soror just transferred into my chapter who has two children, a job, is a full time student and is active with the Sorority.

I am sure some others may dis agree, but there are people without children who a slackers so people who have kids, jobs, full time student can do it (be active) everyone else can too.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by 1908Revelations

I do not see anything wrong with woman who have children belonging to sororities. I think about it is terms of there are active, productive members of graduate/alumnae chapters who have children. A new Soror just transferred into my chapter who has two children, a job, is a full time student and is active with the Sorority.

I am sure some others may dis agree, but there are people without children who a slackers so people who have kids, jobs, full time student can do it (be active) everyone else can too.

I think bejazd is talking about membership in undergrad/collegiate chapters.

I don't think this will ever be widely accepted on any campus with large houses to fill - where part of your sorority experience is living in the house. You're not going to want to take that woman with a husband/child because when it's her turn to fill that spot in the house, she'll have an "out." Especially if there are 50 other women you could bid in her place. I'm betting that for the guys, it's the same way.

[1908Revelations]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I think bejazd is talking about membership in undergrad/collegiate chapters.

I don't think this will ever be widely accepted on any campus with large houses to fill - where part of your sorority experience is living in the house. You're not going to want to take that woman with a husband/child because when it's her turn to fill that spot in the house, she'll have an "out." Especially if there are 50 other women you could bid in her place. I'm betting that for the guys, it's the same way.

I am an undergraduate. I think I should have phrased my response a little better.

Of course during selection proscesses one would not likely think "Ohhh yeah she has a child....we want her over everyone else", but if she exceeds the requirements versus a childless prospective member who is barely making it......I think the decision is kinda easy. I mentioned the newest addition to my chapter because she has came in and done a lot in addition to her having two kids, a job, and being a full-time student. Seeing how great she is; it would have been a shame if she had got overlooked for membership due to the fact of having children.

[UWO_2007]

I honestly feel it is a demographic thing. I don't think I would be doing this if I still lived in the South. The whole sorority thing is just way to cut throat. I opted to wait until I could have more free time when my son was older. It does seem to be more accepted with fraternity brothers vs. sorority though. If the group is willing, and the PNM can balance home, school, and sorority life... AND she fits in, to me it isn't a big deal. Now I would have a problem with someone that joined, but was never around because of family life... yes that is a priority, but if you don't have time, then you don't have time.

[LatinaAlumna]

My organization allows women with children, but it's still rare to have such a woman pursue membership (I've never seen it, but I've heard of some cases). As long as the woman can meet the expectations and requirements of membership, I think it's fine.

[AlphaFrog]

Coming from a smaller, uncompetitive campus, I wouldn't have had a problem with bidding a woman with a child, but I also wouldn't have had a problem with terminating her membership should it become a conflict.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

but I also wouldn't have had a problem with terminating her membership should it become a conflict.

That's possible in your organization? Is that possible in most NPC sororities?

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

That's possible in your organization? Is that possible in most NPC sororities?

In the case of the OP in the now-closed thread that prompted this discussion, the OP was still a new member.

I mentioned that the active sisters didn't have to initiate her if they felt that her children would pose a conflict. I can't imagine terminating a membership based on those reasons after she's been initiated.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by OTW

In the case of the OP in the now-closed thread that prompted this discussion, the OP was still a new member.

I mentioned that the active sisters didn't have to initiate her if they felt that her children would pose a conflict. I can't imagine terminating a membership based on those reasons after she's been initiated.

Thanks for the clarification.

"Terminate membership" to me meant expelling her after she's been initiated.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

That's possible in your organization? Is that possible in most NPC sororities?

Uh.......Technically speaking any woman can terminate her membership. She just stops showing up.

[AOII Angel]

For a mother to be a collegiate sorority member, she has to have a lot of support to make it possible. Money is usually an issue since the average parent would rather their child have something rather than themselves. Time is also a problem since most will have to work to support their families. If you have money and time left after being a good parent and supporting yourself and your own, join a sorority. If you can't do all of this, don't expect someone else to pick up the slack for you. Your sisters aren't there to be your babysitters or to help raise your children. It also is not fair to your chapter to use your situation as an excuse not to participate. I have no problem with women making this choice...I'm sure it will enrich their lives, but they have made choices that make the decision to join a sorority more complicated and difficult.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by SmartBlondeGPhB

Uh.......Technically speaking any woman can terminate her membership. She just stops showing up.

That all depends on what "stop showing up" means and how the organization handles it.

Anyway, I'm talking about a woman having her membership terminated for her. That's what the post I quoted was referencing.

[TriDPrincess]

I can't speak for the rest of greek orgs but I'd to say that my experience has been positive. In the pledge class before mine there was a mother who got a bid however she never got initiated. Also, I just had my daughter two months ago and my sisters have been more than supportive. However, I was a sister before I had her so I don't know if that counts for the purpose of this thread.

[cuteASAbug]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

That's possible in your organization? Is that possible in most NPC sororities?

If you can terminate a girl for consistently not paying her dues, why can't you terminate someone for consistently not attending mandatory events?