Pledging GF

[Upenn111]

Hey guys I'm just looking for advice. I myself have never been involved in greek life (i never saw the point a having to gain friends). But my Gf is rushing right now and i have mixed feelings about it. She doesnt know i have mixed feelings because she is really excited about it and i dont want to let her down. I've even been helping her choose her outfits for rush events but... The truth is I'm just not comfortable with the whole lets get wasted with frat boys thing... How often are mixers / greek only events on average. I know i can go to some parties which is my only saving grace. I know they pre-game before every football game and i cant do that... I guess i just feel like im kinda getting stuck on the back burner. This whole thing really surprises me because I've been dating my GF for a little more than a year and we've been attached at the hip for a couple years now. Advice? Suggestion? Anyone?
TIA

[adpiucf]

Depends on the school, but typically once a week there's an event. All of these things are voluntary participation. You should trust her not to cheat on you. She's going to these events to hang out with her sisters-- it's a girls night. Yes, there will be boys there, but they'd be there, too, if she was having a girls night anywhere in public. No sorority makes its members make out with fraternity boys, etc.

Show your support, come around to the house with her, go to events with her, etc. If you are feeling like you're not spending enough time together, communicate that you miss her and tell her that you're making her dinner or doing something romantic.

If it becomes an issue and you feel like you're growing apart, communicate. Either you'll both make the effort to understand or you'll part ways.

Your concerns are common when one member of a relationship is rushing. Don't worry-- you're not the last. Yes, sometimes people break up over this and sometimes it isn't an issue if the couple is committed to one another.

A sorority is a time committment. So is school. So is your relationship. Maybe you should also look into getting involved on campus, either with an intramural sport, fraternity or campus club so you fill your calendar, too.

[DSTRen13]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Maybe you should also look into getting involved on campus, either with an intramural sport, fraternity or campus club so you fill your calendar, too.

Yeah, my fiance and I both pledged the same semester, so that was good - I think the relationship stress probably would have been pretty bad, but we were both pretty preoccupied

Not going to attempt to give advice to the OP; don't know enough about NPC pledging ... Although I will say that if you are *that* worried that your girlfriend is suddenly going to ditch you for fraternity guys when you have been together that long, you may want to reevaluate your relationship regardless of whether or not she pledges.

[Upenn111]

Originally Posted by DSTRen13

Yeah, my fiance and I both pledged the same semester, so that was good - I think the relationship stress probably would have been pretty bad, but we were both pretty preoccupied

Not going to attempt to give advice to the OP; don't know enough about NPC pledging ... Although I will say that if you are *that* worried that your girlfriend is suddenly going to ditch you for fraternity guys when you have been together that long, you may want to reevaluate your relationship regardless of whether or not she pledges.

Thats not really the issue like i said its just like I'm feeling like im getting pushed on the back burner kinda un-appreicated. Shes just gotten to used to having me around and too used to having me always bring her flowers and rub her feet when theyre sore. The thing is she knows that I wont leave her over a time issue but it seems like she just doesnt get it...

[33girl]

That's another issue, completely independent of her pledging.

Get involved in some things on your own that you enjoy that don't include her and that make you feel good about yourself as a person. If you continue to be joined at the hip, as you said, it just increases the chances of the relationship burning out more quickly.

[Upenn111]

Originally Posted by 33girl

That's another issue, completely independent of her pledging.

Get involved in some things on your own that you enjoy that don't include her and that make you feel good about yourself as a person. If you continue to be joined at the hip, as you said, it just increases the chances of the relationship burning out more quickly.

Youre probably right... Thata does make sense i guess i just put the two togeather because it started at the same time that rush did... Thanks for all the help.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally Posted by 33girl

If you continue to be joined at the hip, as you said, it just increases the chances of the relationship burning out more quickly.

Regardless of whether she's greek......

[Upenn111]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Depends on the school, but typically once a week there's an event. All of these things are voluntary participation. You should trust her not to cheat on you. She's going to these events to hang out with her sisters-- it's a girls night. Yes, there will be boys there, but they'd be there, too, if she was having a girls night anywhere in public. No sorority makes its members make out with fraternity boys, etc.

Show your support, come around to the house with her, go to events with her, etc. If you are feeling like you're not spending enough time together, communicate that you miss her and tell her that you're making her dinner or doing something romantic.

If it becomes an issue and you feel like you're growing apart, communicate. Either you'll both make the effort to understand or you'll part ways.

Your concerns are common when one member of a relationship is rushing. Don't worry-- you're not the last. Yes, sometimes people break up over this and sometimes it isn't an issue if the couple is committed to one another.

A sorority is a time committment. So is school. So is your relationship. Maybe you should also look into getting involved on campus, either with an intramural sport, fraternity or campus club so you fill your calendar, too.

Its not a trust issue at all i trust her to the nth degree and i tried telling her that i was having mixed feelings (between when i posted and now) and she just got mad so w/e ill let things simmer down before i say anything else. Anger wasnt exactly the response i was looking for when i told her i was feeling kinda second best... But beyond all that i have made sure that shes knows that i support her 100% in whatever she decides as long as it healthy... the drinking thing is kinda a border line health issue because she is diabetic and i woory about her when im not there because I always end up checking her sugar for her and then giving her a shot or something with sugar if shes had too much... Would i be way off base if i said i didnt want to help her choose clothing chaufer her between houses etc. ? Thanks for your advice tho very helpful