Difficult question

SockPuppet3 · #1 06-15-2006, 10:21 AM

I'm needing a little advice, so please share your thoughts if you don't mind.

This will be my first formal recruitment, so even in the best of circumstances I'd still have some questions. But, my sorority is struggling with how to deal with recent graduates wanting to help... excessively... during recruitment this year. There is a rather large group of women who, despite the fact that they have graduated, are having a hard time wanting to let the chapter do things differently than how things had previously always been done. They've invited themselves to our summer workshops, and want to have their fingers in the pot constantly.

Now, I realize alums can be a great source of help. But, how do you tell recent graduates that you'd prefer to let the chapter run things differently now? Has anyone been through this type of situation? We're just not sure we know how to tell them that while we'd like some assistance, we'd rather make the big decisions on our own.

Please help! All suggestions are welcome.

sigmadiva · #2 06-15-2006, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SockPuppet3

I'm needing a little advice, so please share your thoughts if you don't mind.

This will be my first formal recruitment, so even in the best of circumstances I'd still have some questions. But, my sorority is struggling with how to deal with recent graduates wanting to help... excessively... during recruitment this year. There is a rather large group of women who, despite the fact that they have graduated, are having a hard time wanting to let the chapter do things differently than how things had previously always been done. They've invited themselves to our summer workshops, and want to have their fingers in the pot constantly.

Now, I realize alums can be a great source of help. But, how do you tell recent graduates that you'd prefer to let the chapter run things differently now? Has anyone been through this type of situation? We're just not sure we know how to tell them that while we'd like some assistance, we'd rather make the big decisions on our own.

Please help! All suggestions are welcome.

I had a similar problem. The issue was just like you said, recent graduates who still wanted to run the chapter like they were in it. But, to make my situation a bit more complex, I was the advisor of the chapter at the time.

It took several meetings with those involved to explain to them that while their enthusiasm is great, their input was no longer needed to that extent. These meetings involved myself and the sponsoring alumane chapter president.

My advice, don't try to handle these women on your own, or even as a chapter. Since these women have graduated, they will feel that they know more than you. Get your advisor and / or regional director involved. Let them handle it.

SmartBlondeGPhB · #3 06-15-2006, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

My advice, don't try to handle these women on your own, or even as a chapter. Since these women have graduated, they will feel that they know more than you. Get your advisor and / or regional director involved. Let them handle it.

My thought as well. That's what they are there for.

flirt5721 · #4 06-15-2006, 08:07 PM

Does your national bylaws say anything that can help you out with this situation? Or something about how active alum can be. I know that we have to get a formal invitation from the exec. council to attend a function or something if you are alum.

But most importantly talk with the chapter advisor and have her deal with the recent grads.

SockPuppet3 · #5 06-16-2006, 10:10 AM

That's another problem, and , in my opinion, one that has led to the recent graduates feeling like they have so much ownership in the chapter. Our advisor is pretty much an advisor in name only. She never attends events, meetings, and rarely even returns phone calls or emails from sisters. Due to her lack of involvement, our chapter has had to learn to manage on our own. So, our recent graduates feel like they are the ones in control. I can see why. I mean, they have been the ones in control for the past couple years. So naturally, they want to keep it. I guess I should look into getting help from our regional/national people. But, I don't want to get a ball rolling that could end up hurting our chapter. And I'm afraid that's what contacting higher-ups would do.

Ugh. This really isn't fun.

AlphaFrog · #6 06-16-2006, 10:17 AM

I guess the decision to be made then is, what's more important...having help from your recent alums, or running the chapter the way you guys want it run. I think that it's time to call in regional/national help. Otherwise, you're going to end up recruiting the same kind of women that you are trying NOT to get.

adpiucf · #7 06-16-2006, 10:18 AM

Contact your regional director. If your adviser is not doing her job, then you need a new adviser.

A regional director, adviser or the alumnae association can address this issue with the recent alum who are trying to assert control.

Your chapter can also write a letter that thanks them for their support, asks for recruitment assistance (donations, volunteers) invites them to an open house before recruitment and reminds them in a tactful way that their place is with the alumnae. Something along the lines of "We're planning a number of collegiate-alumnae mixers this year so that you can get to know our new members! While we would love to see our alumnae sisters during these times, we kindly ask for your cooperation as we manage the day-to-day operations of our chapter. In doing so, we respectfully request that alumnae attend chapter functions and meetings only at the invitation of the chapter executive board. We do appreciate your support and thank you for entrusting us with your legacy."

Sometimes, you just have to spell it out. There will be some grumblings, but they'll get the hint. We had to do this a few years back when alumnae started showing up at recruitment to help out. The chapter sent an email around saying that while we appreciated all of the offers to help, we were running into some logistical issues that risked impairing our recruitment efforts due to the alumnae! The last thing the alum wanted to do was hurt recruitment. They backed off and the chapter set a rule that you had to be a dues-paying member of the local alumnae association just to volunteer and then be approved by the recruitment team. Then again, our chapter has always had a rule that alumnae may attend chapter meetings, etc., by invitiation only (exec board, not Susie Q. member).

33girl · #8 06-16-2006, 10:21 AM

We had the in name only advisor too, but it still didn't make the alums come back and try to run rush. I don't think that is the problem. The problem is that the alums need to let go and move on, and that's something they have to find out for themselves. (Yipes, I sound like Glinda the good witch)

Are they actually coming to parties and such? If so, make Panhel the bad guy and say the other sororities are complaining about all the "extra help" you're gettting. Even if they're not coming to parties, you can try that - say the school has said it's a risk management issue because they're no longer students and not insured or something.

kathykd2005 · #9 09-05-2006, 05:36 PM

I'm so sorry to hear about quota--I do have to say that this happened once to my college chapter, and we definitely bounced back--we made quota three years in a row after it. I understand your concern--these concerns are valid. Keep your head up; you ladies will definitely get through this!!!

ASUADPi · #10 06-15-2006, 10:39 AM

My suggestion is that y'all need to discuss this with your recruitment and chapter advisors.

The thing is though, with it being summer, it might be a bit difficult. But, if there are a lot of sister in town and your advisors are in town I would suggest arranging a meeting.

Your advisors are the ones who have to be the "big bad" and tell the alums, "yes, we would love your help with formal recruitment, but only in this capacity".

Then the advisors, and possibly your exec board, have to stand firm when alums show up and start demanding things or demanding to help and it's not in the capacity that they were told.