These Black Sorority Members Are Speaking Out Against The Racism They Faced…

[NinjaPoodle]

These Black Sorority Members Are Speaking Out Against The Racism They Faced In Their Chapters

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article...-in-sororities

After Black Lives Matter protests broke out across the country, sororities promised to do better for their Black members. But many believe the sentiments are hollow.


Click above ⬆️ link to read the rest.

[andthen]

Sadly, I can't say I'm surprised by the experiences of these women. I give them so much credit for speaking out about their experiences because without awareness of these issues we can't intact change. But it shows that still so much more needs to be done, even before these women get to college.

[NoID]

Originally Posted by andthen

Sadly, I can't say I'm surprised by the experiences of these women. I give them so much credit for speaking out about their experiences because without awareness of these issues we can't intact change. But it shows that still so much more needs to be done, even before these women get to college.

Before they get to college, we must demonstrate (not just "present") the value of NPC membership.

Once they pledge, though, they have a responsibility to start conversations if something bothers them. If they fail to mention it, and just resign, or complain later, is counterproductive. True growth doesn't come from "This bothers me; don't do it" but from "Here's how I perceive that, and it hurts me" that will lead to a possible behavior change on all sides.

I and a number of my long-time alumnae friends (most of 20-50 years' membership) are tired of "You have to change to suit me - End of Story" that the NPC language and process changes are pushing.

[carnation]

^^^ this

[TXDG]

Originally Posted by NoID

Before they get to college, we must demonstrate (not just "present") the value of NPC membership.

Once they pledge, though, they have a responsibility to start conversations if something bothers them. If they fail to mention it, and just resign, or complain later, is counterproductive. True growth doesn't come from "This bothers me; don't do it" but from "Here's how I perceive that, and it hurts me" that will lead to a possible behavior change on all sides.

I and a number of my long-time alumnae friends (most of 20-50 years' membership) are tired of "You have to change to suit me - End of Story" that the NPC language and process changes are pushing.

Could not disagree with you more. It is NOT the responsibility of a black (or any non-white) new member to educate the entire chapter on why it’s racist and disrespectful to give her a “token black girl” award, to use the n-word or other racial slurs, to dress in black face, etc. Just using examples the women interviewed cited from their sorority experiences. Really? It’s THEIR fault for having to address the fact that being called “that black girl” or “n-word” bothers hurt, hurts her, and makes her feel excluded and unwanted as a member?? You’re blaming the victim?!

How about chapters need to be including diversity & inclusion programming every single semester so that all sisters are aware of their own biases and possible racist behavior / thoughts, so that they can not only be good citizens of the world, but allies to all women - especially any women of color in their chapter or who may pledge in their future. I am not calling all sorority women racist - not at all. Many thousands of allies are in houses and alumnae groups all over the country, they need to stand strong with courage and demand appropriate programming and education and model what it is to be an ally.

You and your 20-50+ year alumnae friends need to take a hard look in the mirror at yourselves if you’re the ones actively campaigning against diversity & inclusion initiatives. I know I see the comments on DG’s Facebook page. If you are engaging in the sort of racist behavior shown to the women in this article, then yes YOU DO NEED TO CHANGE TO SUIT THEM.

[carnation]

Adults need to learn to speak up My daughters and I talked a lot about the racism and sexism they would face when they went to college. I told them it's not right to not speak up and then suddenly go raving to the media years later.

[TXDG]

Originally Posted by carnation

Adults need to learn to speak up My daughters and I talked a lot about the racism and sexism they would face when they went to college. I told them it's not right to not speak up and then suddenly go raving to the media years later.

Again, just using the example in the article: what would you tell your {black} daughter to do if her Chapter President gave her the “token black girl” Award in front of the entire chapter? Who exactly would you tell he to speak up to????

I don’t blame that member one iota for quitting and going to the press. Giving out an award like that would confirm every fear she probably had about why she got a bid from that chapter.

[navane]

Originally Posted by carnation

Adults need to learn to speak up My daughters and I talked a lot about the racism and sexism they would face when they went to college. I told them it's not right to not speak up and then suddenly go raving to the media years later.

Respectfully, it was attempted to be addressed by a couple of the women in the article. Here:

When Alex, whose name has been changed to protect her anonymity, entered one sorority house during recruitment week, she said she heard women whisper, “I’m kind of upset that the Black girl didn’t drop.”

She said her sorority sisters referred to her as “that Black girl” constantly throughout her three-year membership from 2014 to 2017. When she emailed the sorority’s president detailing her experiences with her sisters and asking to be treated with respect, the sorority president responded with an email (which BuzzFeed News reviewed) five days later, where she apologized for her late reply but not for the members’ actions.

Instead, she asked for the women’s names so she could talk to them. Alex didn’t think the response sufficed, so she didn’t bring up the issue again.

In another example given in the article, a [white] member heard another saying something inappropriate. She says she spoke up to her chapter/board and nothing was done. Here:

Mackenna, who declined to give her last name, recalled one sorority activity, where she said she heard her sorority sister say that her favorite thing to do with her dad was drive through poor neighborhoods and watch the “porch monkeys.” Mackenna claims she told board members and was “vocal” about how wrong it was, but nothing was done.

I can understand the pushback on DEI as going through change is uncomfortable. I understand that many feel that some of the new policies (legacy consideration removed, rec letters eliminated) have gone too far. I can understand that the lack of consideration for alumnae voices when adjusting those policies caused a lot of hurt and anger. I can understand why some members might feel irritated that their HQs are issuing "word salad" statements that are seen as performative at best. Understandable.

Though, I think we would benefit from separating the various aspects that comprise DEI and not lump the whole thing together. As a white conservative woman myself, I cannot wholesale dismiss the experiences of my sisters who say that they felt marginalized and can cite specific examples or events and even show proof in writing. Ok, I get that we might be mad about legacy status being taken away etc; but, surely none of us are going to endorse that it's ok to call a sister "token black girl" or to call others "porch monkeys". Right?

[andthen]

Originally Posted by TXDG

Could not disagree with you more. It is NOT the responsibility of a black (or any non-white) new member to educate the entire chapter on why it’s racist and disrespectful to give her a “token black girl” award, to use the n-word or other racial slurs, to dress in black face, etc. Just using examples the women interviewed cited from their sorority experiences. Really? It’s THEIR fault for having to address the fact that being called “that black girl” or “n-word” bothers hurt, hurts her, and makes her feel excluded and unwanted as a member?? You’re blaming the victim?!

How about chapters need to be including diversity & inclusion programming every single semester so that all sisters are aware of their own biases and possible racist behavior / thoughts, so that they can not only be good citizens of the world, but allies to all women - especially any women of color in their chapter or who may pledge in their future. I am not calling all sorority women racist - not at all. Many thousands of allies are in houses and alumnae groups all over the country, they need to stand strong with courage and demand appropriate programming and education and model what it is to be an ally.

You and your 20-50+ year alumnae friends need to take a hard look in the mirror at yourselves if you’re the ones actively campaigning against diversity & inclusion initiatives. I know I see the comments on DG’s Facebook page. If you are engaging in the sort of racist behavior shown to the women in this article, then yes YOU DO NEED TO CHANGE TO SUIT THEM.

^^This^^ Also I just want to elaborate on my response this behavior doesn't happen in a vacuum of sorority life, and there is a need for DEI on college campuses, I think too more of these difficult discussions need to happen before these students get to college.

Even though some posters on this thread might be upset these women are airing their grievances to the media, while this might be a small group I am sure there are plenty of others who have had negative experiences. The bottom line is there is so much room to make changes and provide a safe and welcoming experience for every member.

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by andthen

Even though some posters on this thread might be upset these women are airing their grievances to the media, while this might be a small group I am sure there are plenty of others who have had negative experiences. The bottom line is there is so much room to make changes and provide a safe and welcoming experience for every member.

Agreed.

What I see is that some are reacting not to the content of the DEI messages but to the transmission of those messages they perceive to have overtaken everything else in their sorority experience.

What's a real tragedy is that we got to 2021 before anyone woke up.

[NoID]

Originally Posted by TXDG

Could not disagree with you more. It is NOT the responsibility of a black (or any non-white) new member to educate the entire chapter on why it’s racist and disrespectful to give her a “token black girl” award, to use the n-word or other racial slurs, to dress in black face, etc. Just using examples the women interviewed cited from their sorority experiences. Really? It’s THEIR fault for having to address the fact that being called “that black girl” or “n-word” bothers hurt, hurts her, and makes her feel excluded and unwanted as a member?? You’re blaming the victim?!

How about chapters need to be including diversity & inclusion programming every single semester so that all sisters are aware of their own biases and possible racist behavior / thoughts, so that they can not only be good citizens of the world, but allies to all women - especially any women of color in their chapter or who may pledge in their future. I am not calling all sorority women racist - not at all. Many thousands of allies are in houses and alumnae groups all over the country, they need to stand strong with courage and demand appropriate programming and education and model what it is to be an ally.

You and your 20-50+ year alumnae friends need to take a hard look in the mirror at yourselves if you’re the ones actively campaigning against diversity & inclusion initiatives. I know I see the comments on DG’s Facebook page. If you are engaging in the sort of racist behavior shown to the women in this article, then yes YOU DO NEED TO CHANGE TO SUIT THEM.

It is, then, not incumbent on me, a white woman, to take responsibility for noting when another assumes I'm a racist bitch and insists the remedy is to attend reeducation camp. What's good for the goose is good for the gander - as my feminist side admits.

[carnation]

I would refuse to attend re-education classes as well. I never engaged in racist behavior, nor did any sisters I knew of, and these classes would not have gone over.

I've heard about one former NPC member who has gone viral with her complaints about her chapter. I have also read comments from many of her ex-sisters who have given up on trying to refute her claims. This is quite a liberal chapter, so to speak, and no one remembers any racist behavior or even microaggressions in the house. At this point, most think she is grabbing for her 15 minutes of fame.

[joliebelle]

I'll probably come back to this post, but the onus shouldn't be on the women who are being racially targeted. I guarantee you that there are women in those houses that didn't agree with the negative views, but stayed silent. Those are the women that need to speak up and be true sisters and allies. The women being targeted likely felt like they would face further repercussions for speaking out, because it has and does still happen.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by joliebelle

I'll probably come back to this post, but the onus shouldn't be on the women who are being racially targeted. I guarantee you that there are women in those houses that didn't agree with the negative views, but stayed silent. Those are the women that need to speak up and be true sisters and allies. The women being targeted likely felt like they would face further repercussions for speaking out, because it has and does still happen.

I agree. We don't expect abused children to out their abusers, we expect rational adults to notice signs and report it. There are even some people who are mandatory reporters. If a man sexually harasses a woman openly in a meeting at work, the woman shouldn't have to be the one to call them out. If any sorority sister is doing something racist, it's up to ALL sisters to call them out, not the one who is targeted. Just like with hazing, if you know it's happening and don't stand up against it, you're an accomplice to it. We have to do better.

[carnation]

It does happen but this is like marriages. I know of several marriages that had almost broken down before one partner or the other came out with a concern or complaint and the other one had no idea there was a problem. Women need to learn to speak up on all issues.