Mother of Princeton men tells women they'd better get to marrying

[SWTXBelle]

https://socialreader.com/me/channels...dingExternal-1


" Why else would Susan Patton, the mother of two Princeton-attending sons, direly warn young women in a letter to the editor of the Daily Princetonian that if they don't snatch up the bright young men in college---men like her son---then they will run a very high risk of being forever alone with their cats and their books?"

[AlphaFrog]

Oh, cheese and rice, that is HILARIOUS.

Potential future MIL material for sure, said no woman ever.

[AOII Angel]

She actually defended herself on Huffpost saying she was divorced and wished she'd married a Princeton man. Thanks for the insight into your personal baggage, lady.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/susan-...women&ir=Women

[sigmadiva]

From the original letter:

"...you will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who are worthy of you."

As mentioned in the comments section below the article SWTXBelle posted, I also agree with this comment.

I have found this to be very true.

[adpiucf]

I agree with where she is coming from. It's much harder to meet people once you are out of school. On the other hand, there are variables that you don't really know yourself at 18-22.

I guess I missed my opportunity!

[BraveMaroon]

Yeah, that ought to help her Special Snowflake sons' dating lives.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

From the original letter:

"...you will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who are worthy of you."

As mentioned in the comments section below the article SWTXBelle posted, I also agree with this comment.

I have found this to be very true.

I think it depends on your values. Someone else may say that their church is where they will find someone "worthy". For every man with an Ivy Diploma, there's probably a proportional amount of assholes to those without greenery on their matricular documentation.

[chi-o_cat]

From the original letter:

"...you will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who are worthy of you."

As mentioned in the comments section below the article SWTXBelle posted, I also agree with this comment.

I have found this to be very true.

Then, wouldn't it work both ways? The male students are also surrounded by excellent, "marriage-worthy" women. Why is Patton's letter directed only at female students? I think people would have less of a problem with her if she were encouraging all students to form secure, long-lasting relationships, and not just telling the women that they need to snare a man.

There's also the heterosexism aspect of this, but that's a whole other can of worms.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

And FYI there is no correlation between a fancy diploma and a quality personality. Douchiness has no social ceiling.

Quote of the year!

Originally Posted by ADPiEE

l
As someone who met my amazing husband the very day I moved home from college after graduating, I have to disagree with the article.

I did go to college wanting to find a career AND a spouse because I knew those were things I wanted in life. I agree that there will probably never be an easier time to meet men than during college. I remember many of my friends (Greek and non-Greek) making wedding plans our senior year and I felt a little panicky. I went on to graduate school and still didn't meet Mr. right...so I moved back home to start my career. I had kind of given up on marriage so of course that's when I met Mr. Right. I wish I could go back and tell my college self to quit worrying about it. Had I met my future husband while I was in college, it never would have worked out so there's a good reason we met when we did.

So, what will I tell my daughter? Enjoy college, have faith, God has a plan and timing is everything.

This! Some things in life can be planned. Finding Mr (or Mrs) Right isn't one of those things. I went to college in a place where some girls felt such enormous pressure to have a ring on their finger by graduation - mainly because all of their other friends were doing it - that they ended up pushing away the guys they were with who were more than happy to wait.

Originally Posted by chi-o_cat

Then, wouldn't it work both ways? The male students are also surrounded by excellent, "marriage-worthy" women. Why is Patton's letter directed only at female students? I think people would have less of a problem with her if she were encouraging all students to form secure, long-lasting relationships, and not just telling the women that they need to snare a man.

Exaaaaactly.

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by chi-o_cat

Then, wouldn't it work both ways? The male students are also surrounded by excellent, "marriage-worthy" women. Why is Patton's letter directed only at female students? I think people would have less of a problem with her if she were encouraging all students to form secure, long-lasting relationships, and not just telling the women that they need to snare a man.

Not really, anymore. I don't have hard numbers, but over the last few years there have been just as many women in college as men, with it nearing more women in college than men.

If you are an educated woman (in the liberal arts, natural sciences, applied sciences, or business), then you more than likely want a man (assuming a heterosexual relationship) who is just as educated.

In other words, the pickin's are getting slim for college educated women who want to marry a college educated man.

A few years back Essence magazine, or Ebony, was advising educated Black women to come to terms with the fact that there are not as many equally educated Black men. So, if an educated Black woman wants to marry a Black man, then she may have to settle.

The article was along the lines of if you are an educated Black woman with a MS degree, and want to marry a good Black man, then that good man may be in a service industry like garbage pick-up.

[AOII Angel]

Women in college aren't always there, nor should they be, looking for a Mrs. If they don't find a husband in college or ever but have a fulfilling career, are they somehow less womanly or complete than their peers that did? I think taking advice from a woman who unhappily married and has delusions of grandeur about all the Princeton men that could have been is the last thing college women need to think about. FWIW, just because you have a large pool of single men around you in college doesn't mean you are surrounded by a large pool of men looking for marriage...as evidenced by the number of accomplished, single women who escape higher education without rings on their hands every year.

[ElvisLover]

Amen to this, Low C.

[AZTheta]

Who's joining me on the sofa? I've got fresh caramel corn and ranch flavor corn from Prayerfully Popped. Made some fresh lemonade for Arnold Palmers. BYOB.

FWIW: is this an April Fool's thread or what?

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

Who's joining me on the sofa? I've got fresh caramel corn and ranch flavor corn from Prayerfully Popped. Made some fresh lemonade for Arnold Palmers. BYOB.

FWIW: is this an April Fool's thread or what?

I'm plopping down with you. Met Mr. Poppins after school, and he didn't go to Ole Miss for even one class. And the idiot I did marry from undergrad? He divorced me while I was in Law School.

[LAblondeGPhi]

I get part of what Momma Patton is saying, but the whole things is kind of complicated, isn't it?

My primary issue is the tone of the article and letter - blaming women and threatening that they'll become spinster cat ladies if they don't stop being such frigid b****es. How did this become entirely womens' fault again? Because of one random (and I'd imagine, misleading) study about dating behavior of college women?

Listen - it's a two-way street, and men have the advantage of time on their side: the expectations we impose on them as a society tend to develop with age (ability to provide, status, etc.), and they don't have much of a limit on when they can start families.

I'd argue that we've put a lot of pressure on young women nowadays to pursue all of their career goals, but we tell them they can't be aggressive in pursuing relationship goals for fear of scaring men off.

Then, as Mrs. Patton points out, there's still pressure for women to marry an appropriate choice - either her equal or better, older or the same age, etc. Then you add educational attainment and intelligence to the mix. It seems like a no-win for women, doesn't it?

This all reminds me a lot of this article, published in The Atlantic in 2008, where a successful woman makes the case for settling down early in life because as a woman, your choices will always diminish with age. Joy.