Need as much advice as I can get!

lyngon30 · #1 12-29-2010, 10:43 PM

I am starting a sorority for women who are survivors of domestic & sexual abuse. I have already incorp. the name, have mission statement, values, colors & motto. I am currently working on bylaws but needs some help. Also need help creating a shield. My sorority focus is on awareness & support of Domestic Violence & Sexual Abuse. Probably in the next couple of years maybe a facility. I am a Counselor & also a survivor. Please any advise is requested & thanks in advance. :)

knight_shadow · #2 12-29-2010, 11:08 PM

I think the cause is commendable, but why does this need to be a sorority?

Also, the nuts and bolts of the organization should have been discussed prior to incorporation.

33girl · #3 12-29-2010, 11:16 PM

This doesn't need to be a sorority. There are many support groups out there - and they don't charge dues.

lyngon30 · #4 12-29-2010, 11:27 PM

I have been to support groups where I still felt not wanted or like I did not belonged & have been in a sorority years ago. Its to make everyone feel comfortable in a sorority setting. While support is not the only purpose, awareness & prevention will also be our mission.

Think out the box. Not trying to step on any toes. Just need advise.

knight_shadow · #5 12-30-2010, 03:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lyngon30

I have been to support groups where I still felt not wanted or like I did not belonged & have been in a sorority years ago. Its to make everyone feel comfortable in a sorority setting. While support is not the only purpose, awareness & prevention will also be our mission.

Think out the box. Not trying to step on any toes. Just need advise.

You "were" in a sorority years ago? Why would you want to be in another?

And we don't need to think outside the box. We're not trying to create this organization. You asked for advice and you're getting it.

preciousjeni · #6 12-30-2010, 12:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

I think the cause is commendable, but why does this need to be a sorority?

Agreed. Seems like it would be difficult to sustain a sufficient level of membership. This type of organization doesn't seem to have wide spread appeal. Perhaps creating a sorority whose singular philanthropy or service area is domestic and sexual abuse might be more viable.

lyngon30 · #7 12-29-2010, 11:20 PM

I incorp. & I am working on bylaws to start the non-profit process. It will be a non-profit with major principles similarities of a sorority. A sisterhood that relatively been through similar situations in life.

Drolefille · #8 12-30-2010, 12:00 AM

Is English your second language?

Leslie Anne · #9 12-30-2010, 06:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Is English your second language?

Really? You really felt the need to go there with this person? Unfuckingbelievable!

AlphaFrog · #10 12-30-2010, 08:56 AM

A big part of a sorority is that their members *IDENTIFY* themselves as part of the sorority. I just don't think this type of victim is the kind that wants to shout it from the rooftops. As it is, domestic/sexual crimes are severely under-reported due to the blame and stigma victims usually place on themselves. Being able to discuss what happened may be part of the healing process, but it seems like a group like this would push that on the victim before they're ready, under the pretense of helping them.

33girl · #11 12-30-2010, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Being able to discuss what happened may be part of the healing process, but it seems like a group like this would push that on the victim before they're ready, under the pretense of helping them.

Yep. Kind of like outing people before they're ready.

OP, if you were in a sorority years ago, why don't you work up a program that they can use to educate their members and help these people you're referring to? You will reach MANY more people that way than with a local, very specialized sorority that will take DECADES before it has the reach and influence that any established sorority does.

I agree that identifying yourself as "victim, woman, mother etc etc" - i.e. putting the victim part first and making it your raison d'etre - is nothing but counterproductive. You can't recover if you wake up every day and give yourself the "beaten down" label.

agzg · #12 12-30-2010, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

A big part of a sorority is that their members *IDENTIFY* themselves as part of the sorority. I just don't think this type of victim is the kind that wants to shout it from the rooftops. As it is, domestic/sexual crimes are severely under-reported due to the blame and stigma victims usually place on themselves. Being able to discuss what happened may be part of the healing process, but it seems like a group like this would push that on the victim before they're ready, under the pretense of helping them.

I 100% agree. It was years before I was able to not-even-openly discuss my experience and I doubt I'll ever be at the point where I'd be willing to be a walking billboard for a group built of survivors like I would for my GLO. In fact, as a survivor I'm mega uncomfortable wearing t-shirts associated with any group or event with a similar mission, and I don't do it.

Not that sorority membership is all about t-shirts, but it seems like many people who found groups (in this day and age) consider things like t-shirts way before considering things like ritual.

Drolefille · #13 12-30-2010, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

Really? You really felt the need to go there with this person? Unfuckingbelievable!

Yeah, it was a genuine question based on the writing and verb usage in the first post and the subsequent posts.

Surprise surprise I wasn't being snarky for once. So, keep those eyes a-rolling.

KSUViolet06 · #14 12-30-2010, 12:48 AM

Some constructive criticism here: Think about what YOUR group would offer DV victims that other support groups don't.

Women will probsbly ask "well how is this different from *insert DV support group*?"

Some may say that they can find kinship/network/connect with other women at their local DV group meeting without having to go through "recruitment", be chosen, participate in a NM program, etc. It seems to be a bit much for someone who is already going through a tough situation.

DeltaBetaBaby · #15 12-30-2010, 01:15 AM

Do you really want to start a sorority where you are defining yourselves as victims?

I know you are survivors, and I know this is a pivotal experience in your life, as in the lives of many victims, but you should really think long and hard about letting it be your major focus. You are SO much more than the things that have happened to you.