Do You Judge?

[als463]

In various threads, we talked about people who judge others, or certain situations based on their own experiences. Some of us (as discussed in another thread) may question where someone attended college-if they attended college-or whether or not they were Greek, in order to judge whether or not they are "good people" or "like us."

Some of us judge people on whether or not they have the same religious beliefs as us. Others judge based upon race or socioeconomic status. Some people base their dating prospects on what they find suitable in a partner. What do you judge? We all do it. I talked about wanting to make this into a thread. We should try and not judge eachother for our beliefs. So, what makes you judge others?

I will start.

While at my military training school, a guy in my platoon walked up to me as I was sitting on a bench and he said to me, "Do you want to read my Satan bible?" I was stunned. I didn't even know something like that existed. While I was curious and thought it might be interesting to check it out (not because I believe in praying to Satan-or whatever they do), I was in fear I would upset God. Therefore, I stopped even talking to that kid in my platoon because he freaked me out. Was it right? Maybe not. I was only 19 and had never left my small town, which is 98% white.

I've told my boyfriend over and over again that I am happy he is educated. I watched both of my parents struggle with paying bills as I grew up and I thought I would never want to deal with that as an adult. I chose to go to college and would find it hard not dating someone who was not college educated. Granted, it is shoved down a teenager's throat that college opens doors to TONS OF MONEY, that is not always the case. I am just set in that way. I do have friends, however, who are not college educated.

Thoughts?

[DaemonSeid]

And if someone says that they don't I judge them to be liars.

End of thread.

[thetygerlily]

Even if you try not to, it still happens. Human nature- for better or for worse. Interesting question nonetheless.

One of my big ones is smoking. Both of my parents smoke, and I'm allergic to cigarette smoke. I think some smokers are fairly ignorant about how what they do affects others. There's the argument of "I'm only hurting myself, it's my choice"- but I can smell it on you, I know you did it, and yes it does affect me. And when it's in close proximity, yes it does hurt me through secondhand smoke. And just because you doused yourself in cologne and stood outside for 10 minutes in 20 degree weather? Oh yeah, that stench is still there (btw I'm also allergic to fragrance/cologne, sweet). My dad bathed my dog in cologne once so I wouldn't be able to smell it... thanks for trying, dad. I suppose one step further, don't say you're trying to quit if you're not. I get that it's hard, but don't tell me you're quitting as I hear you take a puff on the other end of the phone. So rational or irrational, I innately judge on smoking.

The other one is related to religion... not what religion someone is, or whether they are religious. Rather, my peeves are when I feel someone judging me on religion (even if they have the best intentions, like mentioned above) or if someone doesn't take any personal responsibility. I can understand to some extent "it's God's will" or "what will be will be", but when you get to the point where you're harming others or just plain being outrageously stupid- take some accountability for your actions. Maybe God wants you to.

Phew. /rant.

[als463]

Originally Posted by thetygerlily

Even if you try not to, it still happens. Human nature- for better or for worse. Interesting question nonetheless.

One of my big ones is smoking. Both of my parents smoke, and I'm allergic to cigarette smoke. I think some smokers are fairly ignorant about how what they do affects others. There's the argument of "I'm only hurting myself, it's my choice"- but I can smell it on you, I know you did it, and yes it does affect me. And when it's in close proximity, yes it does hurt me through secondhand smoke. And just because you doused yourself in cologne and stood outside for 10 minutes in 20 degree weather? Oh yeah, that stench is still there (btw I'm also allergic to fragrance/cologne, sweet). My dad bathed my dog in cologne once so I wouldn't be able to smell it... thanks for trying, dad. I suppose one step further, don't say you're trying to quit if you're not. I get that it's hard, but don't tell me you're quitting as I hear you take a puff on the other end of the phone. So rational or irrational, I innately judge on smoking.

The other one is related to religion... not what religion someone is, or whether they are religious. Rather, my peeves are when I feel someone judging me on religion (even if they have the best intentions, like mentioned above) or if someone doesn't take any personal responsibility. I can understand to some extent "it's God's will" or "what will be will be", but when you get to the point where you're harming others or just plain being outrageously stupid- take some accountability for your actions. Maybe God wants you to.

Phew. /rant.

Bravo! Wow, I agree with the smoking thing. Believe it or not, both my parents used to smoke and my boyfriend's parents both smoked and he and I do NOT smoke. He even said it is a turn-off to him when he sees a hot girl smoke.

I get upset when my friends/ family members who had children out of wedlock and are receiving assistance from the Government get on me for not having kids myself, yet. I will. I just choose to be able to give my children everything I never had. It drives me nuts when women who never had a job a day in their lives say, "I take care of my kids. They wear the best namebrand clothes and have the latest toys." Taking care of your kids means providing for them, not expecting tax payers to provide expensive things for them as you smoke that cig. that you can't afford.

Phew./ Rant...Thanks Tigerlilly, I had to get that out.

[groovypq]

Originally Posted by thetygerlily

One of my big ones is smoking. Both of my parents smoke, and I'm allergic to cigarette smoke. I think some smokers are fairly ignorant about how what they do affects others. There's the argument of "I'm only hurting myself, it's my choice"- but I can smell it on you, I know you did it, and yes it does affect me. And when it's in close proximity, yes it does hurt me through secondhand smoke. And just because you doused yourself in cologne and stood outside for 10 minutes in 20 degree weather? Oh yeah, that stench is still there (btw I'm also allergic to fragrance/cologne, sweet). My dad bathed my dog in cologne once so I wouldn't be able to smell it... thanks for trying, dad. I suppose one step further, don't say you're trying to quit if you're not. I get that it's hard, but don't tell me you're quitting as I hear you take a puff on the other end of the phone. So rational or irrational, I innately judge on smoking.

Oh thank heaven. I'm not the only one. I'm not allergic to smoke, but I wear gas permeable contacts and I just cannot be around smoke or it dries them up something awful. I've even found that if I'm near someone who is a heavy smoker and/or the smell clings to their clothes, my eyes will get dry.

My boyfriend smoked when I first met him (although I wouldn't have known it if he hadn't told me - he never did it around me and the smell did not cling to him at all) but quit about a month into our relationship. It was tough for him at first - and he's surrounded by smokers at work so that doesn't help - and I felt like his smoking friends weren't being much help. One flat-out gave him crap about quitting and others would smoke like chimneys around him in social settings. I know they have a right to smoke, but it seems to me if you were a supportive friend, you wouldn't be blowing smoke in the face of someone trying to quit. It got so bad one time we were out with a group that we had to leave (for both our sakes). So I guess I'm judgmental on that front.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Everyone judges. Everyone. Every-one. E-ver-y-one. There was never a human who hasn't judge. Even saying something like "...I'll just pray for you and that God takes care of it" is a judgment that the person needs to be prayed for and divinely taken care of.

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

And if someone says that they don't I judge them to be liars.

End of thread.

^^ this, up here.

Originally Posted by als463

Okay, fair enough. Do you find yourself drawn to certain types of people moreso than others? I'm not saying that not everyone judges. I guess I am just asking what it is that makes YOU judge people?

of course, and that's natural selection, survival of the fittest type stuff. Like attracts like, in most cases, because its familiar and doesnt require extra work to identify and relate.

Originally Posted by Kevin

It's not that you judge.

It's why you judge.

Right. I judge (internally) because its funny as heck and know that 98% of the time its just jokes. Even when it's out loud its for comedic effect.

[DrPhil]

LOL...I remember meeting my first Black person who is an Atheist about 11 years ago. He was also in a BGLO frat.

He was nice, handsome, we had the same major at different universities, and knowing he was in a frat let me know we had some things in common. Then I said something about the Black Church and he told me he's an Atheist. End conversation. LOL. I was still very nice to him but nothing else matters to me if you're an Atheist or a Satanist.

[Kevin]

It's not that you judge.

It's why you judge.

[xomanadaxo]

Originally Posted by Kevin

It's not that you judge.

It's why you judge.

Well said.

I think it's human nature to judge, so I have no problems with people making judgments, as long as they are willing to reshape those judgments once they learn more about the person. It's when people stick to false assumptions in spite of evidence to the contrary that the old saying about ASSuming becomes relevant.

[DiamondAthena]

I USED to judge ppl who could not (or would not) control their children in public. Then my kid turned 2! Now I understand that no matter how well disciplined or well behaved a kid may be, you can not CONTROL your kids in all situations.

[ProBlack]

Originally Posted by DiamondAthena

I USED to judge ppl who could not (or would not) control their children in public. Then my kid turned 2! Now I understand that no matter how well disciplined or well behaved a kid may be, you can not CONTROL your kids in all situations.

yea...until i had to take my nephew out with me, whos a year and a half....i did not understand
funny how stop and no dont mean anything to them once you step out the house

[DiamondAthena]

Originally Posted by ProBlack

stop and no dont mean anything to them once you step out the house

^^^^ this

Oh and I also judge ppl with poor phone etiquette.
Conversations that go like this....

Person: Hello
Me: Hello, may I speak to Jane?
Jane: This me

Or an actual conversation with a relative...

Cousin: Hello
Me: Hi is this the Smith residence
Cousin: Nah this aint no residence, black ppl live here, this our house.

....make me assume ppl are uneducated even though I know that is not necessarily true.

[ProBlack]

Id be the first to admit that i am judgemental...its not always a nice thing but...it is what it is...
for example...if i see a female talking loud or dressed a certain way im quick to assume that she isnt a lady...this happens pretty often

[KSUViolet06]

I judge people wHo tYp3 lyK3 thIS.

I also judge people who use text speak (such as lol or omg) in professional communications (such as emails to colleagues).

I really enjoy judging people who do not use capital letters where appropriate.

I also judge parents who see their kids acting out in a restaurant setting and do nothing about it. I am trying to eat and hold a conversation. I cannot do that with your child attempting to climb into my booth (while you and your husband are ignoring him or her).

[Psi U MC Vito]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I judge people wHo tYp3 lyK3 thIS.

I also judge people who use text speak (such as lol or omg) in professional communications (such as emails to colleagues).

What about people who use text speak in actual conversations?