Nervous PNAM.

[Artemis6]

I joined a local sorority when I was in college. It had a positive impact, but the sands of time seem to have made everyone drift apart. Should I cross paths with any of these women again, they would be considered a sister always.

Years have passed. I am thirty. I am happily married housewife that spends half the year in Canada and half the year in the United States. However, I still wish for an active sisterhood. I have spent time reading different GLO websites and I keep going back to one that I really wish to be part of.

So, I wrote an email on December 12th and sent it. Problem is, now I am nervous. My letters sometimes come across as 'robotic.' I am in Canada for half the year, and there is -no- Collegiate or Alumnae chapters in this area. I am in the US for only half the year and there is one Alumnae chapter and two Collegiate chapters within one hour of me.

I read the 'NPC Alumnae Intiation - Read This First' post by PenguinTrax. After reading it I made sure to think on:

"Why didn’t you join in college?"
"Why do I want to be an AI (especially if you have no prior ties to an organization)?"
"What can I contribute to an NPC org?"

If the GLO I wrote the email to asked me to write an essay on each question, I could do it with ease.

I have read a lot on these forums and I am thinking my email to the GLO might have sounded two businesslike. I am at the point where I just need to take a deep breath and be patient. *breathes*

[KSUViolet06]

My advice: Relax. Read everything you can on this site about Alumna Initiation. Including the AI stories from women who have pursued the process. It is a long process, and not something that is instantaneous or easy. I also make it a point to tell women who are pursuing a sorority to AVOID constant contacting or emailing. Don't be alarmed if you don't get a response from a group right away, as sororities are very busy organizations.

Also understand that becoming an AI is an honor, and as such is not something that is guaranteed. There are situations in which women contact a sorority, express interest, but are not asked to join. I just think it's good for women to know this starting out.

Some more advice: I would also suggest exercising some discretion on the internet. Not saying that you have been indiscrete thus far, but I wouldn't give out any info about the sorority you contacted, school you went to, etc. Just a general rule of thumb.

[Artemis6]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

My advice: Relax. Read everything you can on this site about Alumna Initiation. Including the AI stories from women who have pursued the process. It is a long process, and not something that is instantaneous or easy. Don't be alarmed if you don't get a response from a group right away.

Some more advice: I would also suggest exercising some discretion on the internet. Not saying that you have been indiscrete thus far, but I wouldn't give out any info about the sorority you contacted, school you went to, etc. Just a general rule of thumb.

Thank you for your reply. I have been telling myself to relax and I find that by writing it out has helped release some energy. Discovering this, I intend to get a notebook tomorrow and write things. I understand it is not a quick process. True friendship and sisterhood does not form instantly. It is different than making an acquaintance.

I have been reading GreekChat and plan to continue reading. I intended to keep the name of the sorority secret, but I appreciate your warning. I have refrained from even mentioning the local sorority because I know how easy it is to use a search engine.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Artemis6

Thank you for your reply. I have been telling myself to relax and I find that by writing it out has helped release some energy. Discovering this, I intend to get a notebook tomorrow and write things. I understand it is not a quick process. True friendship and sisterhood does not form instantly. It is different than making an acquaintance.

Right. I just like to make sure that women are realistic about the process. Generally, AI is the exception, not the rule. 99% of the women who join NPC sororities do so during college, not after graduating. AI is not something that occurs very frequently. I like to make sure that women understand that contacting a sorority does not mean they are going to be asked to become a member. It's good to have that in mind and be prepared for any outcome.

[AlwaysSAI]

Also Artimes,

I don't know what local you were in, but you might try to find out if they have affiliated with an NPC. If they have and ONLY IF THEY HAVE you could become a candidate for AI into the NPC your local affiliated with.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

Also Artimes,

I don't know what local you were in, but you might try to find out if they have affiliated with an NPC. If they have and ONLY IF THEY HAVE you become an automatic candidate for AI into the NPC your local affiliated with.

I know you're trying to be helpful, but I'd be careful about making blanket statements like this. This is not true of all NPC sororities. Not every NPC does this.

[Artemis6]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Right. I just like to make sure that women are realistic about the process. Generally, AI is the exception, not the rule. 99% of the women who join NPC sororities do so during college, not after graduating. AI is not something that occurs very frequently. I like to make sure that women understand that contacting a sorority does not mean they are going to be asked to become a member. It's good to have that in mind and be prepared for any outcome.

I already know that just because I want in, does not mean they will want me. It is something I am nervous about. However, I cannot allow that to prevent me from trying. I believe I am a good person who has a lot of offer to any group. And, if I do not know something I am willing to admit it and try to learn.

Do you have a suggestion on how long to wait before contacting again? I was thinking of waiting a month and if no reply comes, to try to think on how to attempt contact again. They must be very busy, and also it is the holidays. I am guessing that it is possible my email might not get noticed until after New Year's.

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

Also Artimes,

I don't know what local you were in, but you might try to find out if they have affiliated with an NPC. If they have and ONLY IF THEY HAVE you become an automatic candidate for AI into the NPC your local affiliated with.

My local has not joined an NPC. Years ago we looked into different NPC's for that possibility. Due to a small campus, we could not form a large enough group to apply to be a colony/chapter. Also, not all the members were comfortable with the idea and so, it was not explored further.

[ThetaDancer]

I'm not trying to discourage you at all, but I just want to present a few pieces of information. First, as others have said, with holidays and spring recruitment coming up, I'd be prepared to wait over 1 month, especially if you have *no* connection within the organization.

Something you may also want to consider is that many alum chapters have only a handful of meetings/events per year and some (mine, for example) are extremely quiet during the summer. As 33girl pointed out, depending on the time of year you plan on spending in the U.S., the alum chapter may have very limited activities.

I'd also like to point out that there are community, non-collegiate social sororities in case you are looking into other options that may better meet your needs. Additionally, re-connecting with your sisters from your local may be something to look into.

[Artemis6]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I have a better idea. Get your butt on Facebook and try to renew contact with your sisters from your local. Trust me, doing this will be much more rewarding than going through the often lengthy AI process to be part of an alumnae chapter for 6 months out of the year (and depending on the alum chapter, they may only have 1 or 2 meetings during that time).

I have already attempted to remain in contact with my local via social websites. I am still hopeful that someday in the future it will be more than just a 'add as virtual friend' and be able to plan events. However, this has not dimmed my interest in seeking out an NPC GLO. Also, I am not putting my life on hold as I hope to join another GLO. I still travel, keep up with my hobbies and enjoy giving back to the community.. with or without sisters by my side.

I appreciate that you have taken time to give me advice and it has reminded me that I could and should continue my efforts to reconnect with my local.

Originally Posted by MaggieXi

I also just wanted to mention that many GLOs start gearing up for spring recruitment in January, I would think. You may not hear back from them until after spring recruitment for the collegiate chapters are complete.

Thank you for replying. After reading your reply I can see how it may take even longer to receive any contact. Thankfully I am not as nervous as when I first posted. I am a calm and hopeful PNAM.

Originally Posted by ThetaDancer

I'm not trying to discourage you at all, but I just want to present a few pieces of information. First, as others have said, with holidays and spring recruitment coming up, I'd be prepared to wait over 1 month, especially if you have *no* connection within the organization.

Something you may also want to consider is that many alum chapters have only a handful of meetings/events per year and some (mine, for example) are extremely quiet during the summer. As 33girl pointed out, depending on the time of year you plan on spending in the U.S., the alum chapter may have very limited activities.

I'd also like to point out that there are community, non-collegiate social sororities in case you are looking into other options that may better meet your needs. Additionally, re-connecting with your sisters from your local may be something to look into.

I have already replied to some of the things mentioned in your reply. However, I thank you for the time you took to type up a response. In regard to only being in the US for half the year, I know it may cause complications. One of my dreams is to get settled someplace in the US, but it will take a few years. In the meantime, I think much can be done through correspondence while I am away.


Overall, I understand that an AI is not a guarantee. I understand that even if I am considered.. it will take time. If it is meant to be, it will be. If it is not meant to be, then at least I know I tried.

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by Artemis6

my interest in seeking out an NPC GLO

Why why why why why??? Seriously, this is the thing that has struck me as the oddest since I joined GC. I had no idea there were people who "pursued" sorority membership POST-college years. You're a grown woman with your whole life and whole world open to you, what, exactly, about this is "the piece" that's missing? There are plenty of other social and service options out there for you to join, why this reach-back to something whose time has passed for you? Sorry, I just don't. get. it.

And I hate the term "PNAM". Is that a real thing recognized by the NPC? If not, who made it up and why?

/rant

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

And I hate the term "PNAM". Is that a real thing recognized by the NPC? If not, who made it up and why?

/rant

I'm pretty sure it was born on GC when sorority shopping suddenly became the thing to do.

AFAIK, it's not an NPC thing since AI policies vary from organization to organization.

[navane]

Originally Posted by OTW

I'm pretty sure it was born on GC when sorority shopping suddenly became the thing to do.

AFAIK, it's not an NPC thing since AI policies vary from organization to organization.

You're right, it was invented on GC; though, it was coined well prior to the "sorority shopping surge". I recall the term being in use prior to 2003. One of the GC regulars at the time came up with it to be cute; but, because people used "PNM" interchangeably with 18 year old freshmen and 40 year old professionals, it was also meant to help people distinguish between the two.

.....Kelly

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

Why why why why why??? Seriously, this is the thing that has struck me as the oddest since I joined GC. I had no idea there were people who "pursued" sorority membership POST-college years. You're a grown woman with your whole life and whole world open to you, what, exactly, about this is "the piece" that's missing? There are plenty of other social and service options out there for you to join, why this reach-back to something whose time has passed for you? Sorry, I just don't. get. it.

And I hate the term "PNAM". Is that a real thing recognized by the NPC? If not, who made it up and why?

/rant

PNAM=term made up by GCers. Not a recognized NPC term (because not all NPC sororities do AI).

As far as being confused over adult women pursuing NPC membership, welcome to GC. The AI forum created somewhat of a "market" for AI that didn't exist before. Many people who are NPC sorority alumnae themselves hadn't even heard of it until they came here.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by JKohlman

Why? Why not? Why does it bother you so much nittany?

Chris, why don't you sponsor the OP for AI into ZTA?

[Grad Girl 08]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

Why why why why why??? Seriously, this is the thing that has struck me as the oddest since I joined GC. I had no idea there were people who "pursued" sorority membership POST-college years. You're a grown woman with your whole life and whole world open to you, what, exactly, about this is "the piece" that's missing? There are plenty of other social and service options out there for you to join, why this reach-back to something whose time has passed for you? Sorry, I just don't. get. it.

And I hate the term "PNAM". Is that a real thing recognized by the NPC? If not, who made it up and why?

/rant

I'm going to insert my two cents here. For some of us who do join post college it's because when we were students there was no way we could have joined. I was a theatre major and spent 40 hours in the theatre weekly. I didn't have time to dedicate to a NPC like it needs to be. So for me, I finnaly have the time to dedicate to a organization that I didn't as a undergrad. Because as a grad student I rarely work on shows because it's all about theory now.