Is it still cheating?

DaemonSeid · #1 03-16-2008, 11:29 AM

If you found out your significant other had pics of 'friends' in sexually explicit poses on their phone or PC, would you still say that they are cheating?

Even if they had never slept with them (and you buy it,) is it still a sign?

How would you hande it?

IlovemyAKA · #2 03-16-2008, 11:53 AM

I would consider it cheating. Why does he have those? I mean really, what's the purpose? Obiviously the friend wants him if she's sending those types of pics, & he's condoning her actions by not only allowing them, but keeping the pics. I would say more, but I'm running late for church. I just pop on for a sec waiting for my slooooow roommate.

DaemonSeid · #3 03-16-2008, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IlovemyAKA

I would consider it cheating. Why does he have those? I mean really, what's the purpose? Obiviously the friend wants him if she's sending those types of pics, & he's condoning her actions by not only allowing them, but keeping the pics. I would say more, but I'm running late for church. I just pop on for a sec waiting for my slooooow roommate.

how would you deal with it if you caught him?

IlovemyAKA · #4 03-16-2008, 03:14 PM

I'm with Sunshine in a sense. I'd have to get more info. I wouldn't confront her because there'd be no point. Her intentions are clear, and she has no commitment to me anyway. However, he does.

He shouldn't have kept the pics in the first place. When she sent them, he should have set boundaries then letting her know that it was inappropriate. Since he did not, she'll just try to take it a step further the next time.

I would expect him to set some boundaries with this chick, and in all honesty, I wouldn't care to have her hanging around too much because she wants what I have. If he cannot put her in her place, then I take that to mean that he likes her attention and advances. In that case, he has made it clear that he cares more for her affections than peace in our relationship. Hence, I'm out. Any chick who can't respect your relationship is not really your friend. She wants more. Any chick who would try to make a man hers while he's with another isn't really the type you want to settle down with either.

KSUViolet06 · #5 03-16-2008, 04:10 PM

I wouldn't call it cheating but it's suspicious. I would defintely need to confront him.

After said confrontation I probably would be minus a boyfriend because this type of behavior is not cool.

Jimmy Choo · #6 03-16-2008, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I wouldn't call it cheating but it's suspicious. I would defintely need to confront him.

After said confrontation I probably would be minus a boyfriend because this type of behavior is not cool.

I agree. And if I managed to still have said boyfriend after the confrentation was over you can bet I'd be so far up his ass for the next few months. He's got to re-earn my trust.

texas*princess · #7 03-16-2008, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IlovemyAKA

I would consider it cheating. Why does he have those? I mean really, what's the purpose? Obiviously the friend wants him if she's sending those types of pics, & he's condoning her actions by not only allowing them, but keeping the pics. I would say more, but I'm running late for church. I just pop on for a sec waiting for my slooooow roommate.

I second that.

And I'd say a confrontation is in order.

PrettyBoy · #8 03-16-2008, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

If you found out your significant other had pics of 'friends' in sexually explicit poses on their phone or PC, would you still say that they are cheating?

Even if they had never slept with them (and you buy it,) is it still a sign?

How would you hande it?

It's not necessarily cheating, but to me it's darn right disrespectful. If I found out that she has pictures of nude men or men in clothes, I would terminate the relationship immediately. There would be no compromise. I think it's very simple to have respect for your SO.

Cardinal026 · #9 03-16-2008, 11:07 PM

I guess I'll be the odd man out. My fiance has a few acquaintances that are girls, and one in particular he hooked up with in the past, and she is a very sexual person. I knew about it then (we weren't together!) and since they have common friends, I don't mind him going out if she is there. I trust him.

I think she still finds him attractive, and can definitely picture an instance of her maybe getting drunk and sending pictures, and my fiance receiving them, and thinking the same thing, she's drunk, whatever, and forgetting about it, and that there were these pictures in his phone.

I'd probably be annoyed at the situation, and might keep a closer eye on her next time I see both of them. But unless I see him responding to something or him sending inappropriate pictures...I'll just know he didn't think it was a big deal and forgot about it.

DSTCHAOS · #10 03-17-2008, 12:12 AM

"You are the company that you keep."

Velocity_14 · #11 03-17-2008, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

"You are the company that you keep."

Yes!!!! Indeed you are!

AKA_Monet · #12 03-17-2008, 08:35 PM

If my S/O is not in the porn business nor is a wannabe, and I found provocative positions of him and another woman, I might submit it to vice, and let them separate it out. Because what need would a veterinarian have with pornographic pictures of him and someone else on his phone, PC or elsewhere? Is it cheating, yes. Because I know I did not marry a porn star...

neosoul · #13 03-17-2008, 10:55 PM

yeah

33girl · #14 03-18-2008, 10:05 AM

In the context of knowing my ex....he has some freaky deaky friends who I can see doing this. Then again, if that was the case, he'd probably show it to me and we'd laugh about it. If it was something other than that...I don't think it's cheating, but it sure as hell is a warning sign.

Scully · #15 03-18-2008, 11:48 AM

If these pictures were from a previous relationship and he didn't keep them out in the open, then I wouldn't mind so much. I've thrown out most photographs containing ex-boyfriends since I've gotten married - but of course a few are here and there because that was my past and who I was and how far I've come. However, if this is a new "friend" of his, there would absolutely be a need for questioning how committed he is in our relationship. Especially if it took place behind my back. There would definitely be drama. I need to know that we were both on the same page. This isn't cheating - but it comes damn close!