Girls Lavilering Girlfriends?

[DraconisAmante]

Hey everyone,
I was wondering if there was any precedent in any other sororities about members laviliering their girlfriends. My sorority doesn't have anything in the rules or governing documents and I was wondering how others in the greek community feel about it.

[KSUViolet06]

I'm sorry, I don't have any experience with this in my particular chapter. All I know is that my sorority does have stipulations about who can wear our letters, and they're for members (new members, initiated members, or alumnae) to wear. This exclude significant others (male or female).

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I'm sorry, I don't have any experience with this in my particular chapter. All I know is that my sorority does have stipulations about who can wear our letters, and they're for members (new members, initiated members, or alumnae) to wear. This exclude significant others (male or female).

Agreed.

I've had chapter sisters in same-sex relationships over the years, and while they found nice ways to show their girlfriends how much they mean to them, lavaliering was not one of those ways.

Only initiated members can wear our letters. It's as simple as that. There are hundreds of other ways to show someone you care.

[PM_Mama00]

Pretty sure in Phi Mu members are the only ones allowed to wear letters. I don't think you can lavalier a boyfriend, so I'm sure same goes for girlfriends.

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

Pretty sure in Phi Mu members are the only ones allowed to wear letters. I don't think you can lavalier a boyfriend, so I'm sure same goes for girlfriends.

Even if it were allowed, I doubt my BF would even want to wear my letters.

[LΩVE]

I don't think it would be appropriate for two major reasons. First, most sororities do not allow their members to give their letters to anyone who is not initiated (with the exception of "mom" products or "future XYZ"...we've all seen those). Secondly, and this is probably why the first reason exists, sororities do tend to have more stringent rules and guidelines regarding membership and behavior. For instance, not drinking or smoking in letters. There's no guarantee the nonmember wearing those letters will follow the guidelines. And lastly, a GIRL wearing a sorority's letters implies that she is indeed in that sorority. That's a fair enough assumption to make. So even more dangerous than a guy wearing a sorority's letters and being ridiculous in them, is a girl doing the same. We all know the guy isn't in the sorority, but a girl might be.

If it were my letters, I wouldn't be comfortable with a sister lavaliering her girlfriend (or boyfriend) for those reasons. But I know there's a tradition for non-greek boyfriends with greek girlfriends where a pearl drop is given instead of letters. Maybe give her that? Or just another nice piece of jewelry and explain that it represents what a lavaliere would. If SHE knows what you mean by giving it to her that's all that really matters.

[RedRover]

Out of curiosity, has any sorority done a candlelight ceremony (like the one in the movie Fraternity Row) for the impeding nupitals of a same-sex couple?
UMass, maybe? Berkeley? UC Santa Cruz

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by DraconisAmante

Hey everyone,
I was wondering if there was any precedent in any other sororities about members laviliering their girlfriends. My sorority doesn't have anything in the rules or governing documents and I was wondering how others in the greek community feel about it.

Though there is likely no direct policy on this subject, I would think your chapter sisters would have something to say about this. I agree that lavaliering is usually a fraternity tradition. I don't know of any sororities with a tradition of giving letters to boyfriends. If your chapter is okay with a non-sister wearing their letters, then you could think about it, but I caution you to realize that people will assume that your girlfriend is a member not a girlfriend of a member.

[PhiGam]

Personally I wouldn't like if that happened within my chapter. I feel like that decision should be up to the rest of the girls in your chapter though, maybe ask a few of your closest friends in there what they think though. If your chapter as a whole is that progressive then that's great great but also realize that it will be looked down on by a lot of people and can perhaps harm your chapter's reputation. My experiences are only at chapters in the south though.
To give a really good answer though we would need to know what campus you're on and how you think your chapter would feel about it.

[APhiAnna]

I actually agree that the main problem would be a girl wearing sorority letters who isn't in the sorority...I can see a girl wearing fraternity letters that have been lavaliered because it is fairly obvious that she would not be a Sigma Chi or SAE or whatever, but a girl wearing Kappa or DG or Theta letters? Not only would it not be allowed by HQ but it would make her look like a member of that respective sorority which she obviously isn't.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by APhiAnna

I actually agree that the main problem would be a girl wearing sorority letters who isn't in the sorority...I can see a girl wearing fraternity letters that have been lavaliered because it is fairly obvious that she would not be a Sigma Chi or SAE or whatever, but a girl wearing Kappa or DG or Theta letters? Not only would it not be allowed by HQ but it would make her look like a member of that respective sorority which she obviously isn't.

Yep. This is my main issue with it.

Maybe get her a necklace that has the sorority's jewel in it?

[ree-Xi]

Since lavaliering is traditionally done by a fraternity member (man), the issue here is that someone in a sorority wants to give her letters to a significant other.

As with many traditions, things are done a certain way because that's the way they have always been done. If there is no tradition within sororities (and that is what you are asking, if it is appropriate for a sorority WOMAN to give her letters to a significant other), then it's likely a moot point.

It appears that you care about tradition, or you would not have asked. So the general consensus of those posting says that it would not be appropriate. The other issue is that lavaliering traditionally occurs between a couple where both people were Greek.

On the other hand, as lavaliering was traditionally/often a precursor to engagement in previous generations, it was an "open" announcement to others that the couple was very serious. It was likely intended to be something not done casually. People may wonder, are you intending to marry your girlfriend?

So you can either adhere to tradition, and accept that sorority women don't give away their letters to anyone, or you can chose to use lavaliering as a "pre-engagement" statement (not sure if that's where your relationship is headed).

It is your choice, but don't be surprised if your sisters or other Greeks disapprove. Personally, I would leave your letters out of it. There are other ways of making a gesture to your girlfriend/significant other.

[wptw]

lol @ impeding nuptials

I do find those dang nuptials really hold me back sometimes!!

wptw

(I have no idea what nupitals are. Maybe try the Kappa Alpha Psi forum?)

Originally Posted by wptw

lol @ impeding nuptials

I do find those dang nuptials really hold me back sometimes!!

wptw

(I have no idea what nupitals are. Maybe try the Kappa Alpha Psi forum?)

LOL.

Glad to see you posting again, wptw.

[loveinxi]

No one asked this, but is the girlfriend in another sorority?