Girls Lavilering Girlfriends?
 

Hey everyone,
I was wondering if there was any precedent in any other sororities about members laviliering their girlfriends. My sorority doesn't have anything in the rules or governing documents and I was wondering how others in the greek community feel about it.

Agreed.

I've had chapter sisters in same-sex relationships over the years, and while they found nice ways to show their girlfriends how much they mean to them, lavaliering was not one of those ways.

Only initiated members can wear our letters. It's as simple as that. There are hundreds of other ways to show someone you care.

Pretty sure in Phi Mu members are the only ones allowed to wear letters. I don't think you can lavalier a boyfriend, so I'm sure same goes for girlfriends.

Even if it were allowed, I doubt my BF would even want to wear my letters.

I don't think it would be appropriate for two major reasons. First, most sororities do not allow their members to give their letters to anyone who is not initiated (with the exception of "mom" products or "future XYZ"...we've all seen those). Secondly, and this is probably why the first reason exists, sororities do tend to have more stringent rules and guidelines regarding membership and behavior. For instance, not drinking or smoking in letters. There's no guarantee the nonmember wearing those letters will follow the guidelines. And lastly, a GIRL wearing a sorority's letters implies that she is indeed in that sorority. That's a fair enough assumption to make. So even more dangerous than a guy wearing a sorority's letters and being ridiculous in them, is a girl doing the same. We all know the guy isn't in the sorority, but a girl might be.

If it were my letters, I wouldn't be comfortable with a sister lavaliering her girlfriend (or boyfriend) for those reasons. But I know there's a tradition for non-greek boyfriends with greek girlfriends where a pearl drop is given instead of letters. Maybe give her that? Or just another nice piece of jewelry and explain that it represents what a lavaliere would. If SHE knows what you mean by giving it to her that's all that really matters.

Out of curiosity, has any sorority done a candlelight ceremony (like the one in the movie Fraternity Row) for the impeding nupitals of a same-sex couple?
UMass, maybe? Berkeley? UC Santa Cruz

Stereotype much?

You are aware that same sex MARRIAGE is only legal in Massachusetts and California?

Well, since I currently live in Connecticut, my husband is from Charlestown (Massachusetts) and we lived in Santa Cruz while he finished up his PhD, why, yes I was aware.

Are you aware that candlelight ceremonies can be be performed for something other than marriage?

Stupid question deserves another stupid question in return.
:rolleyes:

Though there is likely no direct policy on this subject, I would think your chapter sisters would have something to say about this. I agree that lavaliering is usually a fraternity tradition. I don't know of any sororities with a tradition of giving letters to boyfriends. If your chapter is okay with a non-sister wearing their letters, then you could think about it, but I caution you to realize that people will assume that your girlfriend is a member not a girlfriend of a member.

Maybe try carefully reading before being a smart ass? This is what you responded to.

"Out of curiosity, has any sorority done a candlelight ceremony (like the one in the movie Fraternity Row) for the impeding nupitals of a same-sex couple?
UMass, maybe? Berkeley? UC Santa Cruz"

Relevant information bolded by myself.

Personally I wouldn't like if that happened within my chapter. I feel like that decision should be up to the rest of the girls in your chapter though, maybe ask a few of your closest friends in there what they think though. If your chapter as a whole is that progressive then that's great great but also realize that it will be looked down on by a lot of people and can perhaps harm your chapter's reputation. My experiences are only at chapters in the south though.
To give a really good answer though we would need to know what campus you're on and how you think your chapter would feel about it.

I actually agree that the main problem would be a girl wearing sorority letters who isn't in the sorority...I can see a girl wearing fraternity letters that have been lavaliered because it is fairly obvious that she would not be a Sigma Chi or SAE or whatever, but a girl wearing Kappa or DG or Theta letters? Not only would it not be allowed by HQ but it would make her look like a member of that respective sorority which she obviously isn't.

No one asked this, but is the girlfriend in another sorority?