Parents against sororities....

[SigKapAngel767]

[nittanyalum]

You forgot the smirky "smiley" after your last line. PLEASE GOD, tell me you meant to put a smirky smiley...

[rhoyaltempest]

When people are having this problem, I always wonder about how exactly they present sorority or fraternity life to their parents. I think in some cases people are either not providing enough information or they are providing the wrong information. It might be more convincing and more personal to actually pick a group that you are thinking about trying to join and do your research and then to present to your parents what this org is doing in the community and talk about their philanthropy and give examples. Talk about all the great things they do; from raising funds for different causes to giving out scholarship awards. No one can deny that we do great things but we have to be informed about what's going on and share this information with others so they are less inclined to believe the negative. Even provide your parents with some literature and introduce them to a member if you know someone. Overall, I think you have to make it more personal. If you just talk about the orgs in general, they will be more inclined to believe stereotypes. You have to show them something real. As for "paying for friends," this to me is ridiculous. Our orgs are non-profit organizations and all non-profit organizations (including church congregations) have to depend on their members (or sponsors, donors, partners, etc.) to help finance the many expenses and duties that go into running an organization or business. It's that simple. So when people try to accuse me of "paying for friends," that's what I tell them. Good luck to you!

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by Redraidergirl

OK. i really want to pledge for a sorority [something i've wanted to do for a long time], but my parents are dead set against it. They have negative images from the media and stuff and nothing i can do can change that. I've recently had the brilliant idea of getting a job, and trying to pay for it myself...
I was just wondering if there are sororities against taking sophmores [maybe a junior by the time i get my $$ saved up], if they aren't getting support from their families... or if their families don't know about them pledging.

I paid my own way and still managed to make the Dean's List and be an officer in the sorority, as well as belonging to a few other campus organizations. If you are over 18, how you manage your time and money is your business. UNLESS mom and dad are paying for college and living expenses, and will cut you off if you disobey them on this... then, I think you need to weigh your priorities. What is more important? Debt and independence OR all expenses paid and family support, knowing you will eventually have the freedom once you graduate in a few short years?

You can get student loans and a job and still go to school full time and be a member of a sorority. I had no choice but to get student loans b/c my family could not pay for my college. If my parents had the money and said to me, "We will pay for all of your schooling and expenses on the condition you don't join a sorority," I can tell you that I would have readily agreed. The sorority has been a wonderful and positive influence in my life, but student debt is an expense I would rather do without!

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

When people are having this problem, I always wonder about how exactly they present sorority or fraternity life to their parents. I think in some cases people are either not providing enough information or they are providing the wrong information.

The problem with this is that many students don't know anything about Greek Life-- they learn about it at recruitment. They know coming in that it is a chance to meet and interview with the sororities, which are women-only campus organizations with exclusive membership. I haven't met a great number PNMs with successful recruitments who knew all about Greek Life and sororities who weren't already legacies or from a hometown that was pro-Greek.

I used to advise at a campus with a lot of first generation Americans. There were a good number of sororities, but there were some retention issues right after recruitment because of the cultural barrier between the first generation American new members and their foreign born parents. It's just the nature of the beast, and if the parents have financial control, that means a lot. And respect for one's elders and abiding by the family's wishes is a very big part of those cultures. If the student can get through to her parents or pay for it on her own, half the battle is won. The other half comes if you can coax them into coming up for Family Weekend or bringing your sisters home to meet the family so they can see what you've gotten yourself into and come around once they see what a positive influence it can be. But if a girl goes through recruitment, she is expected to plunk down $25-250 on Bid Day or soon thereafter. Many who go through without telling mom and dad and don't have the $$$ will have to drop.

[James]

Damn. I actually thought the title meant there was a support group out there for this.

Parents Against Sororities (PAS) And PAS was posting here to kick our asses.

[emb021]

Originally Posted by James

Damn. I actually thought the title meant there was a support group out there for this.

Parents Against Sororities (PAS) And PAS was posting here to kick our asses.

I was thinking the same thing. Some kind of anti-greek 'MADD' type of group.

[Redraidergirl]

CRAP. everytime i try to post back my comp screws up.
(*&$(*@&#@.

[Redraidergirl]

ok what i was going to say was my pentecostal [even tho not against pants and short hair] is still really strict.... it more of a cultural issue... with our parents Makeup is frowned upon, dating is wrong, no sleeveless shirts, no jewelry and the list goes on...
these standards tho are getting looser b.c the generation now doesn't see whats wrong with wearing makeup and jewelry and sleeveless shirts... so yeah i walk around campus with a tank top on holding hands with my boyfriend, all dolled up... i don't see whats wrong with it... and if you ask any parent they can't tell you why they think its wrong... they just think it is b.c thats what their parents said and blah blah blah. i am pretty sure in the bible it doesn't say "Thou shalt not have short hair, or date" yeah there are guidelines.... but nothing like "those who wear their shoulder bare shall be cursed" [hey that rhymes]
but its a brand for Church of God [not Church of Christ, its an American branch when it reached India, people went a little over board and they continue to do so today...]

hopefully this clears up something?

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Redraidergirl

ok what i was going to say was my pentecostal [even tho not against pants and short hair] is still really strict.... it more of a cultural issue... with our parents Makeup is frowned upon, dating is wrong, no sleeveless shirts, no jewelry and the list goes on...
these standards tho are getting looser b.c the generation now doesn't see whats wrong with wearing makeup and jewelry and sleeveless shirts... so yeah i walk around campus with a tank top on holding hands with my boyfriend, all dolled up... i don't see whats wrong with it... and if you ask any parent they can't tell you why they think its wrong... they just think it is b.c thats what their parents said and blah blah blah. i am pretty sure in the bible it doesn't say "Thou shalt not have short hair, or date" yeah there are guidelines.... but nothing like "those who wear their shoulder bare shall be cursed" [hey that rhymes]
but its a brand for Church of God [not Church of Christ, its an American branch when it reached India, people went a little over board and they continue to do so today...]

hopefully this clears up something?

We didn't mean to hijack your thread with the whole religion thing. Your personal experience is one I've heard from many of my Indian friends, and even professors, no matter what religion they were raised.

[Ch2tf]

For some reason I'm getting a "everyone else is doing it, I wanna do it, and my parents are super strict and don't like it, so I should definitely do it" feeling.

With that being said, make sure it is something you really want to do and something that you are truely committed to doing. If you truely want it bad enough/can withstand the heat that will come with it from your parents, then you will. If you will cave under pressure from your parents, then I would say don't do it.

Based on a previous post it seems like you have already changed "gears" so to speak from your original intentions in greek life, so research, research, research, and rhoyal tempests suggestion about presentation is something to really keep in mind/implement.

[DGMarie]

Redraidergirl: i am pretty sure in the bible it doesn't say "Thou shalt not have short hair, or date" yeah there are guidelines.... but nothing like "those who wear their shoulder bare shall be cursed"


I know this is an old thread, but this website will explain where the not cutting hair interpretation comes from. See verse 6 in 1 Corinthians 11.

http://www.bible-researcher.com/headcoverings.html

and the part about not wearing pants is commonly cited from this passage:

Deuteronomy 22:5 - The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.

[Ilaria Ame]

so...what's AI and why's it so *gasp*?

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by Ilaria Ame

so...what's AI and why's it so *gasp*?

Read here. The locked threads should be particularly pertinent to your question.

[AnchorAlumna]

This outfit, Center for the Studies of the College Fraternity http://www.indiana.edu/~sao/cscfsite/ published a pamphlet outlining achievements, famous people etc. of fraternities and sororities. It mentioned how most all-sorority GPAs are higher than all-women or all-students, graduation rates are higher, outstanding leaders who are Greek etc. Also check the NPC's Web site, www.npcwomen.org, I believe they also have persuasive information. You might also ask your parents to talk to your school's Greek advisor.
You need to show your parents that you have maturely thought this out, explored the idea and show them the reasons you think it wold be a good idea to join (and that it's not all parties). Good luck to you!

[Redraidergirl]

Actually a friend of mine is the president of DPO Alpha Chapter. The only problem with that is we have an very small [2 people] chapter of a similar sorority...
Delta Kappa Delta... but its on the verge of closing... and the south aisian community here is not very supportive of a sorority, and waning.