Advice for PNMs: Not getting a bid to your 1st choice.

[AOII Angel]

LOL. Shit happens. It's not the end of the world. Apparently that chapter needs a better education process for its advisers. Missing quota by 4 isn't the end of the world...neither is taking in 4 women your chapter isn't in love with when the chapter is as huge as those chapters tend to be.

[carnation]

I think this happened in the 80s or 90s when the chapters were much smaller plus the chapter isn't there anymore so 4 girls might've been quite noticeable but still! How dare those advisors do that?

I have recently heard of several stories where mystery girls turned up in chapter rooms on Bid Day and there were their names on the bid lists and no one--the chapter, the advisors, or PH--could account for that, although the girl had been cut earlier in the process. What do you say once she's there? "Hello, excuse me but we really didn't want you and you cal leave now?" Oh, I'm really glad I didn't have to deal with that situation.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by carnation

I think this happened in the 80s or 90s when the chapters were much smaller plus the chapter isn't there anymore so 4 girls might've been quite noticeable but still! How dare those advisors do that?

I have recently heard of several stories where mystery girls turned up in chapter rooms on Bid Day and there were their names on the bid lists and no one--the chapter, the advisors, or PH--could account for that, although the girl had been cut earlier in the process. What do you say once she's there? "Hello, excuse me but we really didn't want you and you cal leave now?" Oh, I'm really glad I didn't have to deal with that situation.

If it happened that long ago, then they she should be able to tell us what happened with those girls. That's a long time to be holding onto a grudge. A similar thing happened at my chapter, and we acted like mature AOIIs and welcomed the girl into our chapter. No reason to act like brats when you can't change things. She turned out to be an amazing member so no harm no foul. Not to mention, there are lots of carefully chosen members who turn out to be duds. As for the second scenario, I call BS on that one. Sounds like an urban legend. If PH can't account for the name on the list, the name should be removed BEFORE the PNM is given the bid.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

As for the second scenario, I call BS on that one. Sounds like an urban legend. If PH can't account for the name on the list, the name should be removed BEFORE the PNM is given the bid.

That one was definitely for real!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

LOL. Shit happens. It's not the end of the world. Apparently that chapter needs a better education process for its advisers. Missing quota by 4 isn't the end of the world...neither is taking in 4 women your chapter isn't in love with when the chapter is as huge as those chapters tend to be.

Freakin' amen.

Originally Posted by Zillini

Also keep in mind that especially with RFM there are many girls who get "cut" that the chapter really liked. There just happened to be other PNMs the chapter liked a little bit better. What happens then unfortunately is some of those "kept" PNMs didn't like the chapter well enough to put it #1 on their bid card.

If/when that unsettling call comes in the wee hours of the morning that it's necessary to snap in order to make quota, it's up to the chapter officers and advisors to make a decision and make it fast. I agree it isn't appropriate to issue a snap bid to someone the chapter obviously couldn't stand. However in a big competitive Recruitment, there are often unmatched girls to choose from who the chapter did like and would fit in well.

This is all sorts of treading on MS territory but...I would assume that in such a situation, certain minimums have been met. (That's as vague as I can get for you to still understand me, LOL.)

But again though, that's part of the learning process of RFM...not just to get the PNMs to open their minds, but to get the chapters to weigh how much they want to keep "Super PNM" around, when all the other chapters are falling all over her too.

[KSUViolet06]

Needs a bump.

[SydneyK]

Do you know Tom, Twizzler73? Your grammar and logic skills are pretty much on the same level. Y'all should hook up.

[December190]

I rushed this semester as a junior.
My "favorite" house from day 1 cut me after the first round.

My second "favorite" house I actually kept inviting me back all the way to their preference night.

On bid day I opened my card and saw that I didn't get a big from my second favorite house. Instead I got a bid from the house that I ranked LAST on the first day.

I still accepted it because I knew I wouldn't go through recruitment again as a senior, it would be pointless. So I thought I'd give these girls a try even though I knew I'd be miserable.

I'm about to get initiated next week and I can HONESTLY say I don't belong in any other house. I LOVE these girls. I have had so much fun these past couple weeks and I really can't imagine myself being in any other sorority, ESPECIALLY my "favorite" house from day one.

Moral of the story is... just give it a try. I have full faith that the system works the way it's supposed to and you end up in the house that you're meant to be in.

[KSUViolet06]

Bumping for the Fall 2012 PNMs to read, because not everyone is going to get their #1 choice.

[carnation]

I hope that PNMs will read this before they rush.

[MoonAndTheStars]

Hopefully it's okay to post in both this and other thread, but I wanted girls to see my story because I really hope it helps someone like me! I would have missed out on an enormous part of my life if I had given up on my 2nd choice.

__________________________________________________ ________________

I've been meaning to post this on here for awhile, and I really hope it helps someone!

I had a dream recruitment all the way through pref night. We could have a maximum of 2 houses, and I got my two remaining favorites. I struggled with which one to choose but finally made my decision and went off back to the dorms for the night. I knew there was a chance that I would get my 2nd choice, but in past years at my school, most girls usually get their 1st choice. I didn't realize that the huge increase in girls rushing might affect things.

As you can guess by now, I was VERY surprised on Bid Day to see that I had not gotten my 1st choice! I ran to the house and participated in that day's activities with fake enthusiasm. All my new sisters were SO excited, including one of my best friends who had listed them as her 1st choice and was THRILLED! I obviously didn't want to ruin the day for anyone or be a spoiled brat about it, but I sobbed my eyes out when I got back to my room. My roommate, who didn't rush, tried to comfort me, but I was crushed.

I tried to remind myself that at some point I had loved this 2nd choice, but I felt betrayed by Pref night at my 1st choice. I was close to several upperclassmen there, and a Senior I really looked up to had talked to me that night. She asked me if I was going to another house that night, and when I said yes, she proceeded to tell me some very moving things about making the right choice for myself, but that she could see me in their chapter, it made her who she is, all the actives who had met me were so impressed by me and wanted me as their sister, etc.

I read these threads, but I was angry and thought all these happily ever after stories didn't apply to me in the slightest. (I wanted to bold this because if anyone is reading these thinking...yeah right! I hope this helps). I had accepted a bid so if I dropped than I wouldn't be able to rush for an entire year, and it really wasn't feasible to think I would get in my 1st choice as a Sophomore. I was angry and sad for a full week, and I even went to one of the school counselors at the health center because I felt so awful. Another thought that lingered in the back of my mind which I full well knew was awful but still existed...I felt like my new sorority was one of the lower tier ones, and people would instantly label me as loser if they knew I was in it. It pains me to remember that I even thought that back then! My mindset of cool vs uncool was like that of a middle schooler during that time.

I decided to wait out new member period and drop out if I was still really upset by the time initiation came around. Very slowly, things started to get better. I got a new member "sister" before my big, and that was one of the first things that started to make me feel better. She was SO nice! We hung out a couple of times, and she gave me the most thoughtful little gift bag with shirts and other sorority themed things. Going to my first chapter meetings also helped because I saw how strong the sisterhood was in my chapter. Also, I started to come to the realization that I would have felt terribly out of place in other sorority's pledge class, and I felt really comfortable in mine.

Anyway, it took me awhile to warm up to my 2nd choice, but I am SO GLAD that by some chance of fate, this all happened. I really think I would be miserable in the other chapter. I realized mine isn't a low tier at all, we are actually one of the strongest, and it's because we have so many amazing girls who support EVERYONE in the chapter. I'm super proud to be where I am! It actually took me a couple of months to realize truly how happy I am here, but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I have leadership positions which I probably would have never pursued otherwise (I didn't have any leadership positions in high school, and my sisters have given me the confidence to do so), and I have an AMAZING big and family who I don't think I would known otherwise. I actually keep in contact with women as far back as my Great x5 Grandbig.

[FSUZeta]

Like!

[carnation]

I love that story!

[AZTheta]

Potential New Member = PNM.

[UNCalum]

Similar question...what is RFM?