Help me please

[ilovemyglo]

I am having a really hard time. I am a senior, I graduate in May. I know I am not perfect but lately I have been having a hard time even coming around the chapter house because some people make me so uncomfortable. I feel like I am not welcome in my own home. I know most of it is made up in my mind. Ever since I became an AGD I have wanted nothing more than the share all my stories with my sisters and how I feel. We have always been so close. Some things happened with two sisters and ever since then I have lost my candle.. I feel like my spirit has been blown out. I came back to school with more zeal and love for alpha gam (thanks a lot to most of you!) and now I have stayed at my boyfriend's house every night because I cannot bear to be in my room at the chapter house. I know that everyone has their agd ups and downs. I am just really not happy to be here right now. It make life really hard when you are having a terrible week and you don't go to your sisters for help. I know that it isn't everyone in the chapter that is making me feel this way, I really do know that everyone cares and is there for me if I need them... I just feel like I have this pit in my stomach everytime I walk in the door and I feel like I am on eggshells the entire time. I would like to say I could sit down and talk to these two sisters about everything, but alas I can't. I tried to and all that happened is they put me down and started calling me names. I can't do that, I cannot call my sister a name and say things about them that I do not mean. SO I know I cannot talk to them. The worst part is now an advisor is doing things too. I get emails about my incompetency or about how rude I am. I am not trying to be rude in any way or manner I just want to detach for awhile. Please help! Your kinds words have gotten my through so much and I need them more now than ever! Loyally, Sarah