The Art of Bragging

[Blacksocialite]

Hey Sorors and SFs,

I have been chatting about this topic for the past two weeks with some graduate students and a few buddies. Does bragging have a negative impact on women versus men? Should women become better at 'bragging?'

I remember some years ago, there was a 'study' that suggested that women receive less pay because they 'brag' less about their professional accomplishments than men (in addition to accepting the first salary offer given and not asking for raises).

A good book on this topic (that I mention on my blog and shared with the students) written by Peggy Klaus is entitled Brag! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It.

So, I'm interested in learning whether or not you 'brag' about your accomplishments.

[AKA_Monet]

Inherently in our culture that "crabs in a barrel mentality" has forced us to live in regret of our accomplishments if they are not sports related. There may be deeper reasons for why some of us do that according to Derek Hopson, psychologist:

We'd rather appear powerful and capable, but in doing so we don't acknowledge the common fears and hurts. And Black women, finding themselves having to appear as if they're not ho-ish or desperate to find a man, are sometimes seen as aggressive and hostile.

I think that I have announced, my qualifications, often. Others may perceive it as bragging. Is there a "better" way to "brag" on the internet or websites? Possibly, having it backed up by recommendations by well-known celebrities. Maybe? I don't know?

On-line persona is only part of what a person is nowadays. Most people lie about their on-line persona(s) anyways. Hence the switch to more credible experts for this subject.

There are several folks that know me personally here. So, although I do not like it when dumb people confront me publicly, the reality it, folks who do actually know me do not think that and know my abilities.

So, to answer your question about bragging having a negative impact on women, it is a double-standard. Dayumed if you do, dayumed if you don't. I guess sometimes it is better to have negative attention than no attention? Albeit, I would prefer positive, transcendent attention, if any.

That's my take.

Good question.

[FlawlessOne]

bragging is wrong. we as black americans need to stay away from this sort of thing.

[AKA2D '91]

I don't have a problem announcing accomplishments. I've seen where those who have the problem with it are usually those who are complacent and like their current situation. There is little to no motivation or desire to improve. Maybe this is where making an announcement turns into bragging. Announcing, to me, is different than bragging. Bragging or braggers seek to only lift themselves up, without attempting to encourage or motivate others to shoot for the stars in their own view.

I guess we would live in a perfect world if people are truly happy for you and the goals you have set out to achieve. Whatever the case may be, whatever you accomplish, not sharing it won't make it go away. Your accomplishments are with you forever. Regardless, there will be those who won't like what you achieve if you spread the word about it or not.


Keep on pressing....

[Little32]

I find that I don't generally have to brag in my personal life, my family does it for me. I can't tell you the times that I have been introduced as Little32 and have the people already know me and what I am doing. I love my family for the way that they support me.

On the other hand, I have met outright hostility from other women in the workplace for attempting to negotiate salary for positions, so I find that to be true. I have been told by other women that I should not try to negotiate salary, but my motto in terms of that is "Everything is negotiable." I know my worth and I try to make sure that my employers know my worth too (not that it always works out the way that I plan, but that is not going to stop me from trying to get what my work is worth).

[SummerChild]

I think that there is probably merit to the notion that women brag less than men. I have also heard about the phenom that you mention - if you don't brag, no one knows what you are doing at work and you get looked over - even though you may be more qualified than the next person.

Accompanying the notion of "bragging" more at work is building relationships at work by going to functions outside of work or volunteering for activities beyond your job. Both are discussed in this month's issue of Essence. We should check it out.

I don't think that I brag enough at work.

SC

Originally Posted by Blacksocialite

Hey Sorors and SFs,

I have been chatting about this topic for the past two weeks with some graduate students and a few buddies. Does bragging have a negative impact on women versus men? Should women become better at 'bragging?'

I remember some years ago, there was a 'study' that suggested that women receive less pay because they 'brag' less about their professional accomplishments than men (in addition to accepting the first salary offer given and not asking for raises).

A good book on this topic (that I mention on my blog and shared with the students) written by Peggy Klaus is entitled Brag! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It.

So, I'm interested in learning whether or not you 'brag' about your accomplishments.

[thepinkprincess]

Bragging is not wrong, if you are simply the best!
Those AKA women who posses ULTIMATE STYLE & FINESS!
Oh yes the are all over in the north, south, east & west!
those ultimate divas who withstood THE ULTIMATE test!

So as they proudly display that pink & green
they are always pleasant priss & NEVER MEAN!

So, Haters beware of those who negatively talk
For the sisters of Alpha kappa Alpha Have definately walked the walk.

I can only dream of one day being seen
as a WORTHY sister
who proudly wears PINK & GREEN!

[AKA2D '91]

Originally Posted by thepinkprincess

Bragging is not wrong, if you are simply the best!
Those AKA women who posses ULTIMATE STYLE & FINESS!
Oh yes the are all over in the north, south, east & west!
those ultimate divas who withstood THE ULTIMATE test!

So as they proudly display that pink & green
they are always pleasant priss & NEVER MEAN!

So, Haters beware of those who negatively talk
For the sisters of Alpha kappa Alpha Have definately walked the walk.

I can only dream of one day being seen
as a WORTHY sister
who proudly wears PINK & GREEN!

What should I do with this post? Edit, delete...what?

[SummerChild]

LOL. Wow. Soror, I don't think that I've ever seen that kind of thing unsolicited before.

PinkPrincess, that's all good and fine but now, I want my own poem. LOL.
Proceed....

SC

Originally Posted by AKA2D '91

What should I do with this post? Edit, delete...what?

[Little32]

I say keep it, though DP AKA_Monet might be troubled by its less than timely submission .

[AKA2D '91]

She's not a member. I have a problem with it being posted, but that's just me. But again, I guess I need to take heed to my OWN siggy!

[Little32]

Originally Posted by SummerChild

LOL. Wow. Soror, I don't think that I've ever seen that kind of thing unsolicited before.

PinkPrincess, that's all good and fine but now, I want my own poem. LOL.
Proceed....

SC

Me too. lol.

ETA: Looking back at her other posts, I am not so sure now. There does seem to be a decided change to the approach though.

[thepinkprincess]

I am back. Did not mean to ruffle feathers. I am by no means saying that I am a part of your group. Let me explain......I have a lot of friends who are your sisters. I admire, cherrish, respect them & the whole. I hate when I see, read, hear ANYTHING that makes AKA look, sound, preceive to be NEGATIVE in any way!

WHat Ihave noticed is that peopl want to be a part of the best. (you) & when they can npt, for what wver reason, they tend to write blogs, create things as if to say that AKA's brag to much on themselves. That posses another thought.....WHY NOT brag if it is the truth! YES, AKA was & IS the first & the finest sorority EVER! I respect them, admire what they do & will do in the community, world, state & abroad!

When I was little & I said something that my mother did not like, I got popped in the mouth. That I what I feel when someone says or even thinks something negative about Aka. PERIOD!

Hope that I did not offend. Just speaking my mind.

[SummerChild]

PP,
First of all, where is my poem?
Second of all, I appreciate your appreciation for Alpha Kappa Alpha.
Third of all, use spell check honey child and re-read! I could not understand some of what you wrote below.


SC

Originally Posted by thepinkprincess

I am back. Did not mean to ruffle feathers. I am by no means saying that I am a part of your group. Let me explain......I have a lot of friends who are your sisters. I admire, cherrish, respect them & the whole. I hate when I see, read, hear ANYTHING that makes AKA look, sound, preceive to be NEGATIVE in any way!

WHat Ihave noticed is that peopl want to be a part of the best. (you) & when they can npt, for what wver reason, they tend to write blogs, create things as if to say that AKA's brag to much on themselves. That posses another thought.....WHY NOT brag if it is the truth! YES, AKA was & IS the first & the finest sorority EVER! I respect them, admire what they do & will do in the community, world, state & abroad!

When I was little & I said something that my mother did not like, I got popped in the mouth. That I what I feel when someone says or even thinks something negative about Aka. PERIOD!

Hope that I did not offend. Just speaking my mind.

[Little32]

Originally Posted by thepinkprincess

Did not mean to ruffle feathers.

You can not ruffle feathers here; elsewhere perhaps, but not here.

Oh, and second my Soror Summerchild's sentiments.