Is this right?

Frienze2010 · #1 09-20-2007, 06:59 AM

Hello, I go to a large competitive university with fall recruitment. I'll be rushing as a sophmore, I dropped rush last year because I didnt feel like I knew enough to make the right decision or know enough people to make rush easier.
Last year and this I've been doing a lot of networking and know atleast one woman in each house. I have many male friends in fraternities. To gain a competitive edge or rather what I didnt do last year, I've been asking my male friends if they are close with a girl in any houses and if they minded calling her and saying that they know someone who was rushing and if they could invite me over for a dinner. I didnt even know you could go to dinners prior to rush last year and I feel that having that time will do me well because I'm not good at the 5min sit in a chair chit chat. One of my guy friends had a lady even come over to his house late at night just to meet me, we got to talk and hang out. My question is...since I have multiple friends who know different ladies in the same house, is it okay to have different friends call and give my name to more than one girl in the house, or would that come off as desperate or would that just complicate things?

Another question..I went to a call out meeting, talked with 2 women from a house i'm interested in, i got a message on facebook inviting me over to watch Grey's anatomy and hang out. I'm not sure if it was from one of the women i met at the meeting. I swear every girl I've ever met loves Grey's...I've never seen it, and if they all gather around to watch it and I have no idea who mcsteamy or mcdreamy is..wont that be awkward and i wont really fit in (i'm aware its much deeper than tv shows) or i'll have nothing to say and come off as mean or boring.

As you can tell I'm really nervous about rush, I'd love to go greek and this is my last chance. I'm trying what I can. Any advice on networking...is name dropping okay? How much about rush should I talk about, not secrets, other things. Should I talk about what happened last year, will they know if I declined a bid. Theres a local headquarters in my home town, can I go there to get a rec, how? I seem to freeze up everytime i'm around someone in a house, then start chatting awkwardly or not at all.

Thank you.

FSUZeta · #2 09-20-2007, 08:17 AM

go watch grey's with the sorority that invited you. you will get to know them in a casual setting-you are under no obligation other than to go, be polite and converse with these women. they may be asking more pnms than just you, in case you were afraid that you would be the only pnm there.

as to your male friends calling the sorority members for you, i wouldn't do it-have one guy call the member they know and then have the other guys mention in person to the members they know that they have a very good friend who will be rushing and then they can talk you up.

are recs. important at your school? i would not recommend showing up at the headquarters asking for a rec. if you feel you need one, you could call the headquarters and ask if there is an alumnae chapter in your town and get in touch with them. however, if you make friends with sorority members on campus, and recs. are important, they will make sure that you have one.

you don't have to mention what happened last year. if it should come up, just say that you were confused and dropped out-i think that everyone that goes thru rush can understand that.

don't talk about other sororities. that will always come back to bite you.

practice talking to people you do not know in class, in the cafeteria, in your dorm or apartment complex-this will help you in real life as well as during rush. the more you try to start up a conversation the easier it will be become.
have some topics in mind that you can revert to if you get stuck-movies you have seen, books you have read, music you like, concerts you have gone to, what you like to do in your leisure time, professors you like and those you don't.

good luck!

LOVEinZTA · #3 09-20-2007, 08:52 AM

Ditto to everything said above! And if you're nervous about going to watch Grey's, just YouTube an episode to get the characters straight! Honestly though there are plenty of girls in my chapter who've never watched an episode of GA - it's not about whats on the TV, it's about spending time together - don't stress!

AOII Angel · #4 09-20-2007, 11:48 AM

Go and tell them you've never watched the show. Be honest, but tell them your interested in finding out what the show is all about. They can spend time discussing the show and its many attributes (I hate it, personally! It is very unrealistic!!) I think you could use this as a great bonding exercise!

beebadger · #5 09-20-2007, 12:27 PM

Wow. I had no idea you could go to a dinner or TV session with a sorority before rush starts. I thought that was forbidden. Or is it just that you can't have any outside contact once recruitment actually starts?

And good luck, Frienz. My daughter dropped out last year at her school, also, and went through again this year. She got the sorority she wanted just last night!

violetpretty · #6 09-20-2007, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Go and tell them you've never watched the show. Be honest, but tell them your interested in finding out what the show is all about. They can spend time discussing the show and its many attributes (I hate it, personally! It is very unrealistic!!) I think you could use this as a great bonding exercise!

Agreed! I just wouldn't recommend talking during Grey's. I've been flamed for that. However, maybe the very hardcore fans will probably watch it upstairs locked in their rooms in complete silence.

Ok, I'm done with my little "I hate Grey's and everyone else is way too obsessed with it" rant. I definitely think you should go because they invited you! They obviously care enough to get to know you in a more genuine way than recruitment, so take advantage of that opportunity.

Frienze2010 · #7 09-20-2007, 03:05 PM

Oh I'm for sure going...They were my top choice last year but I got cut after 19 party. How awkward is it that I'm going to a house that didnt really want me for whatever reason, I know a lot of it just has to do with numbers and quota, but really do they all keep notes of all the PNMs (not like I said or did anything nasty), I want to start this year of fresh. Also, I would never decline an invite just because of the show they are watching any chance to be in a house informally is great. I love meeting people, I'm known as the girl that just goes up to anyone and everyone and starts a conversation...but then as soon as I know they're in a house I freak, not like they are superhuman or anything, but its just really stressful for me and I start not acting like myself.

As for my guy friends..they call a girl that they've been friends with for awhile and are rather close, and they say hey, I know this really nice girl yadda yadda thats rushing is there anything you can do for her, as in going to dinners and such or you should meet her... Would it be odd if say 4 girls in a single house, get that same phone call from 4 different guy friends of mine. How would you look at that, is that normal? Could I just alert a few of the greek women that I personally know from high school that I'm rushing again. Basically i'm trying to get as much exposure and hang time with the different houses before rush begins...and I dont know of any Greek Women in any of my classes, and even if I did, could I ask them if they are having any informal meetings?

Thanks for your time on the million questions

33girl · #8 09-20-2007, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frienze2010

Would it be odd if say 4 girls in a single house, get that same phone call from 4 different guy friends of mine. How would you look at that, is that normal?

I would look at that as "oh my God, leave us alone about this girl already, I don't want to hear her name anymore."

If it's a guy who's your REALLY good friend - not an acquaintance - not a party buddy - it's one thing for him to say to the women he knows in sororities, "Frienze is my friend and she's really great, and I'm pretty sure she's interested in rushing."

But quite frankly, if I kept hearing a girl's name from multiple guys (and never from other girls) I'd be a little leery of her. It almost seems like you're trading on your friendships with these guys to try to get into a sorority. Not to mention, girls in other sororities DO talk to each other, and if ABC, DEF and GHI all compare notes and find out that a giuy called them to talk you up...it's not going to look very good.

AlexMack · #9 09-20-2007, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Go and tell them you've never watched the show. Be honest, but tell them your interested in finding out what the show is all about. They can spend time discussing the show and its many attributes (I hate it, personally! It is very unrealistic!!) I think you could use this as a great bonding exercise!

Yo! Grey's rules because it isn't realistic. I have a gc sister in med school and I like to tease her and ask her if she's sleeping with her hot boss. It took me awhile to get into because it's not really the medicine, it's the dramatic love lives with some blood on the side, but I'm a nerd for medical shows and mcdreamy is mcdreamy so...

violetpretty · #10 09-20-2007, 03:55 PM

I agree with 33girl. It is good if you are really good friends with a guy to have him introduce you (and even better when they invite you to come meet them), but too many guys telling girls in the same sorority about you is definitely overkill.

ETA:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frienze2010

Oh I'm for sure going...They were my top choice last year but I got cut after 19 party. How awkward is it that I'm going to a house that didnt really want me for whatever reason, I know a lot of it just has to do with numbers and quota, but really do they all keep notes of all the PNMs (not like I said or did anything nasty).

Why was this group you top choice if you only went to one party? If I am correct in where you go to school, yes, it probably had a lot to do with numbers (not quota because said school doesn't do quota) and if you don't have anyone that knows you, likes you, and wants to keep you, you can easily get lost in the shuffle. However, they still cut you after round 1. Make sure you don't put all of your eggs in this basket because you could be cut again from this chapter, at any time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frienze2010

As for my guy friends..they call a girl that they've been friends with for awhile and are rather close, and they say hey, I know this really nice girl yadda yadda thats rushing is there anything you can do for her, as in going to dinners and such or you should meet her... Would it be odd if say 4 girls in a single house, get that same phone call from 4 different guy friends of mine. How would you look at that, is that normal? Could I just alert a few of the greek women that I personally know from high school that I'm rushing again. Basically i'm trying to get as much exposure and hang time with the different houses before rush begins...and I dont know of any Greek Women in any of my classes, and even if I did, could I ask them if they are having any informal meetings?

I would think it is kind of odd if a guy called me JUST to say that his friend is rushing. If he were talking to a friend in person or on the phone for another reason, and brought you up in conversation, it would seem more natural to me. I think telling your friends from high school that you are rushing again would be a good idea.

Drolefille · #11 09-20-2007, 06:23 PM

I don't know about any other chapter, but at my chapter any notes that any sorority member made about PNMs are destroyed.

KSUViolet06 · #12 09-20-2007, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

I don't know about any other chapter, but at my chapter any notes that any sorority member made about PNMs are destroyed.

Same for mine. I'd like to think that all chapters do the same.