Image Problems.

SigmaTri2008 · #1 09-09-2007, 12:42 AM

Hypothetically speaking..

Say there was a chapter of a sorority who had 2 women who's image standards were extremely low. So low, that they are having a negative impact. These two women should never have been voted into the sorority, but they were anyway due to drama. What is the most efficient way to either improve this chapter's image, or remove the problem?

(and of course this is hypothetical..

)

Kevin · #2 09-09-2007, 12:53 AM

Is it a physical image, moral, or behavioral issue?

(hypothetically speaking)

AKA_Monet · #3 09-09-2007, 12:56 AM

Is it a physical/genetic problem - like they cannot help the way they look or do they lack self confidence, esteem and it translates in their behavior?

Have they been sensitively confronted? And is it something they can learn to do? Or are they too "simple" to just not get it?

Some people are just clueless...

Phimuteach · #4 09-09-2007, 09:26 AM

Keep in mind, this is based on the (little) information you've given us on the situation.
I would try to solve the problem first by having friends or bigs of the girls (who's willing) address the issues the chapter is having with their behavior. They could come up with goals or an action plan to improve. Then if these girls aren't making any positive progress they should be brought to the standards board.

texas*princess · #5 09-09-2007, 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Is it a physical/genetic problem - like they cannot help the way they look or do they lack self confidence, esteem and it translates in their behavior?

I'm with AKA_Monet on this one.

If it's a physical/genetic issue, they can't really help that.

If it's a personal hygiene (i'm pretty sure I misspelled that) issue (won't shower, brush teeth, comb their hair) - that would likely need to be addressed.

If it's just a "you don't go tanning and get weekly mani-pedis like everyone else" issue, then I think that should be a personal choice of theirs.

VictoriaGermany · #6 09-09-2007, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by texas*princess

If it's just a "you don't go tanning and get weekly mani-pedis like everyone else" issue, then I think that should be a personal choice of theirs.

Haha, don´t tell me that´s the way it goes in US sororities. What sort of women want to have such image? That´s so superficial.

Isn´t the most important thing the character of a person and her will to support the sorority?

Titchou · #7 09-09-2007, 11:16 AM

One of the purposes of the sorority is to help you be the best person you can be. If you don't present yourself well, then you have a self respect issue - for whatever reasons - and your friends/sisters should be willing to help you.

kathykd2005 · #8 09-09-2007, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VictoriaGermany

Haha, don´t tell me that´s the way it goes in US sororities. What sort of women want to have such image? That´s so superficial.

Isn´t the most important thing the character of a person and her will to support the sorority?

Texas*Princess was being sarcastic. No, that is not the "way it goes in US sororities," at least not with reference to their core principles. If you visit www.npcwomen.org, you will see that what many of these US sororities are really about. There are also NPHC sororities (different from NPC), and other independent sororities throughout the US.

skylark · #9 09-09-2007, 11:40 AM

Honestly, what you probably don't want to hear, is that if these individuals don't WANT to change, you may just have to wait it out until they graduate. Not knowing what exactly the problem is, it is hard to say whether the sorority is in a position to address the problem.

Is it a weight problem? If so, I think sororities should back off because that is a sensitive issue and trying to address it may cause that person serious psychological damage. Is it worth giving an individual a complex (or aggravating one that already exists) in order to not have the "fat girl" in your group? (by the way, the answer here is NO!) Maybe instead offer to go shopping with her -- nicely... as if you were inviting any other friend to go shopping-- and very casually give her things to try on that might flatter her body shape more. When she tries on things that look nice, make a big deal out of how great she looks.

Is it a psychological issue? Suggest counseling -- casually and sensitively. If there is someone in the group that has received counseling for whatever reason or went through anything similar, have that person suggest it in a way that doesn't seem like a demand. For instance, "When I was having issues dealing with stress, the best thing that I ever did was talk to a counselor. It's really helpful to talk to someone that isn't involved in your life because they can offer a fresh perspective."

Is it a personality issue? If someone is just annoying or whatever, that's not something you can usually change. Maybe make sure that at least during recruitment she is put in a position that minimizes her exposure to the PNMs, but other than that, just try to find positive things about her and focus on those until she graduates. This is kind of a life lesson, since for the rest of your life you will have to be around people you don't like or find annoying... might as well learn how now!

Please post back and give better clues as to what the image issue is... I think you'll find you'll get better responses that way.

texas*princess · #10 09-09-2007, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

Texas*Princess was being sarcastic. No, that is not the "way it goes in US sororities," at least not with reference to their core principles. If you visit www.npcwomen.org, you will see that what many of these US sororities are really about. There are also NPHC sororities (different from NPC), and other independent sororities throughout the US.

right on

I guess sarcasm doesn't exist in Germany

kathykd2005 · #11 09-09-2007, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by texas*princess

right on

I guess sarcasm doesn't exist in Germany

Not to be mean to her, but a lot of times, sarcasm really does get "lost in translation." I know that when I translate from French to English it is sometimes difficult to understand the true meaning of what is being said; the subtle nuances don't go through, and you can't "read between the lines." I'm just trying to figure out if she is here to really learn information about American sororities, or if she is here to proliferate stereotypes... Sorry for the hijack!

SWTXBelle · #12 09-09-2007, 12:19 PM

It's tough to recommend much without more details, but it may be the best way to tackle the issue is to have a meeting/workshop on the issue for the whole chapter. That way, the two who are the problem don't feel singled out. If their problem is one of education, then the workshop should help. If not, well, then you may have to tackle it with the two individuals. Again, without details we are all kinda taking stabs in the dark.

SydneyK · #13 09-09-2007, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SigmaTri2008

Hypothetically speaking..

Say there was a chapter of a sorority who had 2 women who's image standards were extremely low. So low, that they are having a negative impact. These two women should never have been voted into the sorority, but they were anyway due to drama.

Are you sure the negative impact is because of the image problem, and not because of the perception that the women were extended bids only because of drama?

Do the women you're referring to (hypothetically) know that their sisters think "they should never have been voted into the sorority"? If so, I'd suspect the negativity might be stemming from that instead of their "low image standards" (whatever that means).

At least, I know if my sisters said, "We should never have voted in Sydney; damn drama, anyway!" I'd probably have had a pretty negative impact on my sorority.

adpiucf · #14 09-09-2007, 02:29 PM

I think you should approach with an all-chapter workshop or series of workshops that discuss self-respect, serving as a PR ambassador for the chapter, nutrition and fitness, and celebrating diversity. After these workshops, adopt these ideas into your chapter bylaws so they can be enforced.

I PM'd you with some ideas.

kathykd2005 · #15 09-09-2007, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SydneyK

Are you sure the negative impact is because of the image problem, and not because of the perception that the women were extended bids only because of drama?

Do the women you're referring to (hypothetically) know that their sisters think "they should never have been voted into the sorority"? If so, I'd suspect the negativity might be stemming from that instead of their "low image standards" (whatever that means).

At least, I know if my sisters said, "We should never have voted in Sydney; damn drama, anyway!" I'd probably have had a pretty negative impact on my sorority.

Yep, I probably would have, too. Unfortunately, I've known of cases where this happened. Those individuals either ended up leaving their GLO, or causing problems within the house so much that they were asked to leave. No one should ever KNOW about "drama" regarding whether or not they should have gotten into the house. That is part of MS, and should stay there.