Frat Life is not what it's cracked up to be

[APhiAlien1996]

What I'm about to say, I'm sure many of you wanted to say but didn't. Speaking from my experience as an Alpha man, other greeks can add on to this as well. Here in Atlanta, you have many big wigs of corporations that have key positions at their jobs. When I try to network with these bruhs, it's the same old same old story. 1) Exchange numbers, call the the bruh, he never answers/and or don't call back. 2) Give 'em your resume, never hear back from them, or they give you that "my hands are tied" crap. 3) Email bruhs, never get a reply. 4) I've been stranded on the side of the road, flashers on, hood up, and another Alpha will see the tags/para. on your car and keep rolling. Ain't that some garbage? Oh, and let's not forget, bruhs see you somewhere and both of you got on Alpha gear, they don't even speak. So what I'm really saying is that Alphas be acting shady to one another and yes, I am airing out some dirty laundry. Then active brothers want to know why other brothers don't become financial or participate in events.

So I ask, why is this happening bruhs? Can anyone in other orgs. relate and has this happened to you as well? I thought fraternity/sorority life was about helping one another.

[APhiAlien1996]

Oh, by the way, even though I am speaking of other Alpha men, this goes for all greeks.

[treblk]

uuhhmm wow..the question that I have for you is, are you putting you faith in Alpha or are you putting your faith in people. I think that no matter what letters someone has, they are people first, letters second. People were shady before letters and will be shady with letters. I believe these things have happened to many of us, with and without letters, so maybe you need to change your networking game up and talk to EVERYONE not just your frat JMHO.

[APhiAlien1996]

Originally Posted by treblk

uuhhmm wow..the question that I have for you is, are you putting you faith in Alpha or are you putting your faith in people. I think that no matter what letters someone has, they are people first, letters second. People were shady before letters and will be shady with letters. I believe these things have happened to many of us, with and without letters, so maybe you need to change your networking game up and talk to EVERYONE not just your frat JMHO.

Oh yes, I do agree with you 100%. But, I thought that networking with your frat. would help, at least that's what I believed. However, folks are still shady.

[Professor]

[Wolfman]

Originally Posted by APhiAlien1996

What I'm about to say, I'm sure many of you wanted to say but didn't. Speaking from my experience as an Alpha man, other greeks can add on to this as well. Here in Atlanta, you have many big wigs of corporations that have key positions at their jobs. When I try to network with these bruhs, it's the same old same old story. 1) Exchange numbers, call the the bruh, he never answers/and or don't call back. 2) Give 'em your resume, never hear back from them, or they give you that "my hands are tied" crap. 3) Email bruhs, never get a reply. 4) I've been stranded on the side of the road, flashers on, hood up, and another Alpha will see the tags/para. on your car and keep rolling. Ain't that some garbage? Oh, and let's not forget, bruhs see you somewhere and both of you got on Alpha gear, they don't even speak. So what I'm really saying is that Alphas be acting shady to one another and yes, I am airing out some dirty laundry. Then active brothers want to know why other brothers don't become financial or participate in events.

So I ask, why is this happening bruhs? Can anyone in other orgs. relate and has this happened to you as well? I thought fraternity/sorority life was about helping one another.

Fundamentally,you made a strategic mistake:you pledged an inferior frat--one not based on friendship.

Seriously, we live in an age where the basic values of true brotherhood is cherished and lived out is becoming embattled; what motivates many people is self-aggrandizement. But don't despair, there are people who truly live the ideals of their organizations; but be wary of equating brotherhood with worldly wealth and influence. Many of us have gotten to the point that we believe that we don't need God or each other.We don't even feel we have any responsibility to each other's well being as a community. "I got mine,you get yours;if you got something, maybe we can talk." A black version of social darwinism.

[whiteandblack]

Originally Posted by APhiAlien1996

Oh, by the way, even though I am speaking of other Alpha men, this goes for all greeks.

thank you.

[Jody]

So.....

what did you think frat life was supposed to be? I'm just curious?

[APhiAlien1996]

Seriously, many of you do not get what I am saying. Well, I know you do but you still have on your fraternity/sorority blinders on. Neos can't relate, but graduate/leave college, get out into the real world and let some of the newness wear off. I'm sure everyone that pledged something was told that your organization would be there when you needed something, right or wrong? I dare any of you to tell me that your frat/soror was there when you truly needed them!!

[whiteandblack]

Originally Posted by APhiAlien1996

Seriously, many of you do not get what I am saying. Well, I know you do but you still have on your fraternity/sorority blinders on. Neos can't relate, but graduate/leave college, get out into the real world and let some of the newness wear off. I'm sure everyone that pledged something was told that your organization would be there when you needed something, right or wrong? I dare any of you to tell me that your frat/soror was there when you truly needed them!!

sure, I got you but like treblk said people first, letters second. I got you.

[AKA_Monet]

I have a hardcore question so it should be taken without emotion:

Since the legal ending of above ground public pledging process, where everything pledges did was public from carrying bricks to have the scars on the face to humiliation in public to mocking personal behavior, to the safer non-hazing kinds of things like everyone dressing similarly in public to making sure EVERYONE sees you studying in public at 12:08 AM everyday...

Have we lost our love for one another without those "tactics" in place? Hayle, my linesisters will correct me in a minute, but I am unoffended because I have been there and done that with them. Greeks made before a certain time just have that mutual understanding. None of this challenging and improvement of networking skill. Long time ago, it was just "understood" through the pledging process.

Any underground stuff, was looked down upon. I.e. getting beat down, slapping, hair cutting, etc.

So, I wonder, we have made some pretty decent members who are well intentioned and say they are committed to the community service program. However, it seems at the same time, some of these members are struggling and wondering their commitments made during induction.

Would a pre-described above ground pledge process make the difference?

[Animate]

Originally Posted by APhiAlien1996

Seriously, many of you do not get what I am saying. Well, I know you do but you still have on your fraternity/sorority blinders on. Neos can't relate, but graduate/leave college, get out into the real world and let some of the newness wear off. I'm sure everyone that pledged something was told that your organization would be there when you needed something, right or wrong? I dare any of you to tell me that your frat/soror was there when you truly needed them!!

While I get what you are saying I think you may have been expecting some all powerful brotherhood full of brothers that will be there any and everytime you need. Its not going to be like that. Like others have said, people are people first and foremost.

And neos can relate!

<---- Neo

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by APhiAlien1996

When I try to network with these bruhs, it's the same old same old story. 1) Exchange numbers, call the the bruh, he never answers/and or don't call back. 2) Give 'em your resume, never hear back from them, or they give you that "my hands are tied" crap. 3) Email bruhs, never get a reply. 4) I've been stranded on the side of the road, flashers on, hood up, and another Alpha will see the tags/para. on your car and keep rolling.

First and foremost, I'm an artist. I generally don't find it useful to network with other Brothers. I tell them I write novels, they want me to write for newspapers. For anyone reading this: Journalism and fiction-writing are not the same! But I digress.

I don't exchange numbers with Brothers for any reason other than brotherhood. I met one at the grocery store about six weeks ago, and I am lightweight trying to reclaim him. Hell, I figure anyone wearing a fraternity t-shirt at 6am in the grocery store on a saturday morning is dying to be reclaimed, lol

As far as resumes go.... yeah, I went through that. It sucks when you're trying your hardest to find a job and brothers know that, but in my case, the only two in my chapter who POTENTIALLY had an inside look at one agency I was applying to failed to return calls and emails. I rarely lean on the shield at all, so it was disappointing that when I did lean, they yoinked the shield away and I fell LMAO.

Now I can say that one of the coolest examples of brotherhood was when I was waiting at the bus stop one morning, kind of late for work. And I think I was wearing an Alpha jacket.... and this car stops and is like "You're Senusret, right?" And I was like ummmmmm yeah? Well, turns out he was frat! He knew me from an email list we're on together (for Alpha artists, no less) and you know what he did? He gave me a ride to work!

All in all, I believe you get back what you put in.... if you are financial, active, hard-working for Alpha, I think you will be paid back in the ways that are appropriate.

(In fact..... the last full-time permanent job I had.... if it wasn't for an Alpha who worked there, I wouldn't have even known about it. He encouraged me to apply. BUT he stepped out of the selection process, which actually helped me out MORE.... it wasn't about him getting me hired, it was about him getting me an opportunity to be seen and impress them myself!)

[Jody]

I was diagnosed with breast cancer April 1, 2004. I pledged at Famu in 1982 with 19 other women. I live in the middle of Florida. Although my line has reunions, and have each other's emails we all have children and jobs and live all over the country, we keep up with each other but not like when we were in college.

Flash forward to my four operations, one line sister was there every time I woke up. Eight grueling chemo cycles at least two were at my home, cleaning my house, combing my children's hair and keeping me company, providing my husband with a short respite.

On the weeks that I didn't have chemo, I received frozen dinners, enough to feed a family of four for a week (and it was THE GOOD STUFF!) Sooo, these women who have lives and jobs took care of me and none of them lived in my city, the closest was 2 1/2 hours away.

I can't recall when I had to ASK a Soror to do things for me, if they could they did. It's the same thing that I do for Sorors, if I can help them, I do, and not because I expect anything it's because it was the way I was brought in.

I was a caring, socially conscious, industrious person before I pledged, joining the Sorority connected me with a group of likeminded folks (who let me raid their closets! )

It's unfortunate Greek life hasn't been what you thought, but I have to wonder, what have YOU done for Alpha. You can only give what you get, do you help folks who are behind you? Even if you feel you're on the second rung on the ladder, there's still someone who can't make it to the first. Maybe the question shouldn't be what can they do for me? Why can't it be what can I do for them?

As my Mom used to say, what goes around, comes around...

[treblk]

Originally Posted by Jody

I was diagnosed with breast cancer April 1, 2004. I pledged at Famu in 1982 with 19 other women. I live in the middle of Florida. Although my line has reunions, and have each other's emails we all have children and jobs and live all over the country, we keep up with each other but not like when we were in college.

Flash forward to my four operations, one line sister was there every time I woke up. Eight grueling chemo cycles at least two were at my home, cleaning my house, combing my children's hair and keeping me company, providing my husband with a short respite.

On the weeks that I didn't have chemo, I received frozen dinners, enough to feed a family of four for a week (and it was THE GOOD STUFF!) Sooo, these women who have lives and jobs took care of me and none of them lived in my city, the closest was 2 1/2 hours away.

I can't recall when I had to ASK a Soror to do things for me, if they could they did. It's the same thing that I do for Sorors, if I can help them, I do, and not because I expect anything it's because it was the way I was brought in.

I was a caring, socially conscious, industrious person before I pledged, joining the Sorority connected me with a group of likeminded folks (who let me raid their closets! )

It's unfortunate Greek life hasn't been what you thought, but I have to wonder, what have YOU done for Alpha. You can only give what you get, do you help folks who are behind you? Even if you feel you're on the second rung on the ladder, there's still someone who can't make it to the first. Maybe the question shouldn't be what can they do for me? Why can't it be what can I do for them?

As my Mom used to say, what goes around, comes around...

(((((sistergreek Jody))))))))) you really touched me here! I hope all goes beyond well for you. Your story is a ture testiment to what sisterhood is all about with or without letters! You are in my thoughts!