Legacy

[AOII Angel]

I was a legacy to AOII. Looking back I didn't really have a choice which sorority to join since my sister (who is less than a year older than me) pledged the year before. If she hadn't been a member I don't know what I would have chosen. Don't get me wrong....I love my chapter and my sorority. But, I didn't give it much thought since I would have devastated my sister by pledging another group. Do you think being a legacy is too much pressure for rushees?
I give you another example. We got a new member the year after I joined who was a double legacy to Phi Mu. She put them first on her pref list, but on bid day was running down our hall crying. Once she got over "letting her sisters down" she became a wonderful AOII. I know she loves AOII, but her bid day was a nightmare. (I still wonder why Phi Mu didn't take her...The rest has been edited in respect to a fellow sister!)

[dgdramadawg]

I definitely think it depends on the rushee and on the rushee's family. I was the first person in my family to join a GLO that someone else (my aunt) was already a member of, so it was fairly commonplace not to pledge where one was a legacy (or otherwise connected to a house). I didn't feel pressure from my mom at all to pledge her house, and even though she would have liked to see me pledge there, she felt it was most important for me to be happy.

Then again, one of my dorm friends freshman year sat crying after she finished her rankings the night before bid day because she had chosen the sorority of one sister over the sorority of her mom and other sister. All three family members were Greek at the same school and were still very involved with their chapters as alumnae. I can see how she felt pressure to please them with where she pledged... it'd be hard to go elsewhere and then see siblings and mom on campus at other houses all the time.

[FSUZeta]

one of my pledge sisters was a legacy to three other sororities at fsu and two of her sisters were still on campus at the time. this young woman was extremely independent and wanted to make her own way. i think that she also wanted to avoid choosing one sisters sorority over another-no matter what, we were awfully happy that she joined our chapter.

my cousin's daughter joined her mom's sorority during her sophomore year-it was a disaster. she just never got into it-i remember her dad telling her one time that since he had paid for the meal plan at the house, he expected her to go over there and eat.she preferred staying at her apartment and cooking for herself. i think that she would have been much more happy in another chapter. don't get me wrong, the one she joined is a top group on campus, just wan't the right fit for her. i don't know if she joined them due to their reputation, or because of her mom-who did not pressure her to join any particular one.

my daughter rushed this past fall. i know that she truly gave all 5 chapters at her school a chance, but in the end she chose zta. now that she is about to complete her first year of college, she has gotten to learn the overall personality of each of the sororities on campus-she still feels that she made the right decision. she has friends in all the other chapters. since her recruitment, i have heard that some of the chapters are very wary of other sororities legacies, and are afraid to take a chance by extending them a bid. i think that there is always a chance that that will happen.

this happened to a zta friends daughter who rushed this past fall at a much larger university. she was being heavily rushed by one sorority who would be considered direct rivals to the zta chapter where she attends school. the party before prefs. they dropped her like a hot potato. she was bewildered because she thought they really liked her. her mom explained that they probably did, but that they were afraid she would not put them first on her bid list. she ended up pledging zta, which, truthfully had been her first choice the entire week and is very happy, but it really shook her confidence, because she began to doubt herself and her ability to read people. on top of that, the pnms learned right before the parties who had invited them back, so the pnms had little time to compose themselves if a favorite had not invited them back.

[33girl]

I think a lot of times, even if they try not to, moms or sisters end up putting pressure on the legacy to join their group. It's all around hard, because not only does the mom/sis have to deal with the fact that the group might not be the best fit for their daughter/sis, but that if THEY were going through rush, the chapter might not be the best fit for them anymore either. It's a lot easier to just think that the chapter is going on with people you would like and hang out with even if that is no longer the case.

[Eirbear]

I'm a double legacy to Alpha Xi. While this might have influenced my initial thoughts when beginning formal recruitment a couple years ago, I tried my hardest to keep an open mind. I put Alpha Xi first on my bid card, but it wasn't because my mom and grandmother are both Alpha Xi's. The chapter on my campus is the place I felt most comfortable during recruitment, and I really clicked with all the sisters. Even now, I know I made the right choice.

We have two other Alpha Xi legacies in our chapter--both have moms who were in our chapter "back in the day," when my mom was there too. But we also have a few legacies from other chapters on our campus. My sorority family Twin is actually a Zeta Tau Alpha legacy, and she's not the only one. Other chapters on campus have some legacies to our chapter. Maybe because our campus is small and only has four sorority chapters to choose from, but I think legacies here generally go into recruitment with an open mind and they choose the chapter they feel they connect with best. So, to answer your question, no, I don't think being a legacy is too hard on the rushee.

[eli_the_chopper]

from a guy's perspective:

I'd disown my son if he didn't join Lambda Chi. Doesn't even matter if his school doesn't have a chapter. Maybe he should've thought of that before applying.

[aopirose]

A woman that I know has been practicing her mantra for years, "God made us mother and daughter but only You can make us sisters."

[So_Sweet720]

Originally Posted by eli_the_chopper

from a guy's perspective:

I'd disown my son if he didn't join Lambda Chi. Doesn't even matter if his school doesn't have a chapter. Maybe he should've thought of that before applying.

I never understood this perspective or line of reasoning. I would never disown my child because they chose to go a different route than I did. For me it's all about what makes my child happy. My husband is a Sigma (Phi Beta Sigma) and I am a Zeta (Zeta Phi Beta). If any of our daughters or son don't decide to become a Zeta or Sigma there will be no love lost. My Godmom and aunt are both Delta's and while I love them dearly, I had to do what was best for me, not what I thought would make them happy.

[bejazd]

I suppose that with the new RFM (which I totally support..it's long overdue!) sorority legacies are going to have it a bit tougher time perhaps than non-legacies. The sororities have the uneviable task of trying to figure out amongst potentially hundreds of PNMs who is a good candidate for membership and is likely to accept their invitation...nearly impossible when you can't truly know the heart and mind of the PNM!

So let each PNM be her own person, and let each chapter stand on its own merit, here and now. And remember the quality of a sisterhood or membership experience is not solely defined by whether or not a chapter makes quota. Do the women truly care about each other? Are they having fun? Becoming better people because they joined and participate? Are they promoting the values of their org through their actions? That's the measure of a great chapter, and a quality membership experience.

We girls get too emotionally tied up with the whole legacy thing initially, but we get over it. There are six different NPCs represented at our family's dinner table at Christmas...a regular panhel meeting! Glad I have boys. My kids are both SAE and Sigma Chi legacies...Dad and grandpa don't care which frat they might choose...they want them to be good men.

[AOII Angel]

Bravo Bejazd

[honeychile]

It totally depends on the family, the amount of pressure, and the type of pressure. I was a Kappa legacy, obviously went ADPi, and it wasn't until this past summer that my mother finally understood the why I chose ADPi over Kappa. The pressure on me (the only granddaughter!) extended to my bedroom being light & dark blue, and a collection of keys on the one wall!

A close alumna friend of mine was a triple legacy. She just didn't feel as if she fit in, and was SO relieved when her legacy chapter cut her. Her grandmother freaked out, but my friend is really happy, to the point of having held international offices.

Then the story that a lot of y'all have heard - there was a five-generation legacy in my chapter, and she just did NOT want to be in a sorority! She did pledge, got initiated at Convention, then transferred to another school that didn't have ADPi. We knew she didn't want to join, but were told that that no possible way we could drop her. I don't see a six generation legacy happening - at least, not with her mother's prodding!

As for dropping a legacy just prior to or after Pref - wow! I can't even picture a circumstance where that would be appropriate, short of the legacy pulling a Lizzie Bordan!

[fantASTic]

Oh man..one of my sisters is a triple SK legacy. Her mom, sister, and aunt are all Sigma Kappas. They cut her first rounds [and this is not a competitive school, for GLO's]. Shit really hit the fan.

Now, however, she LOVES AST and told me she's glad she got cut..or else she would have joined, and she didnt fit in there.

[DSTRen13]

Originally Posted by So_Sweet720

I never understood this perspective or line of reasoning. I would never disown my child because they chose to go a different route than I did. For me it's all about what makes my child happy. My husband is a Sigma (Phi Beta Sigma) and I am a Zeta (Zeta Phi Beta). If any of our daughters or son don't decide to become a Zeta or Sigma there will be no love lost. My Godmom and aunt are both Delta's and while I love them dearly, I had to do what was best for me, not what I thought would make them happy.

I wouldn't disown anybody, but I will be definitely be very happy if I have a daughter who goes Delta I would be happy if she chose another NPHC sorority, but not quite as happy. I don't know how I would feel if she chose a group outside the NPHC - it would depend on the group. I'd deal with it as long as she had good reasons for her decision. (No matter what I'm not paying for it.) I know my fiance would like it if we had a son that went Phi Kap, but I don't think he would be upset if he didn't. Neither of us would be crushed or anything if our hypothetical future children chose not to go Greek at all.

[OleMissGlitter]

Originally Posted by aopirose

A woman that I know has been practicing her mantra for years, "God made us mother and daughter but only You can make us sisters."

That's a good way to put it!

I know for me I was pretty much open and liked all of the sororities at Ole Miss. I have legacies at AOII and Theta and then my aunts were Kappa's and I had recs for all of the sororities at Ole Miss. Now of course AOII means so much more to me that my great-grandmother was an AOII and then my mother and my sister are AOII's as well...however, I think in the long run it always seems to work out.

I personally know a girl who went to Ole Miss who was a triple legacy to a very old chapter at Ole Miss, she ended up going AOII (one of her sisters had even just graduated from Ole Miss and was still on campus in grad school) and in the long run she was an officer for AOII and an outstanding member. I think her sisters and her mother were more devastated because their own family member was released from this house. However, this chapter probably gets over 100 legacies a year so for them to give a bid to every legacy would be impossible and it wouldn't allow for much diversity. I sort of take the motto that "everything happens for a reason."

I also know some AOII's whose mothers were members of other sororities at Ole Miss, and those mothers are very involved with AOII Parents' Club and help during recruitment. I even know one mother who would go and help with AOII recruitment for the first two rounds or parties and then go to her own sorority to help with pref parties. Pretty cool if you ask me. I think it's all about accepting that your daughter/sister/etc might want to be something else in life. With most Greek systems increasing and getting larger I think it's going to be harder and harder for every legacy to get a bid from their legacy.

[ErinIsBadNews]

A Dad came into the store I work at looking for a gift for his daughter. I don't remember how many times she was a legacy, but he mentioned everyone in her direct line of family, but her mother was an ADPi. He told me she was a descendent of one of ADPi’s Founders. Not going to lie, I got goose bumps.

I know that many years ago, my chapter initiated one of the direct descendant’s of one of our founders. I can’t tell you off the top of my head, which founder.

I’ve always wondered how much more pressure you would feel to join an organization if you had a long line of family members in an org, especially a founder. Do you think you could have joined another GLO? I’m not sure I could.