Once a Player...?

[lovehaiku84]

Always a Player?

This goes for both males and females. Do you guys think that if someone has a history of dating several people at the same time w/o them knowing about each other (re: playing folks), they will ever be able to be in a monogamous and honest relationship? OR do you think that they will always have trouble being with just one person.

[TonyB06]

Originally posted by lovehaiku84
Always a Player?

This goes for both males and females. Do you guys think that if someone has a history of dating several people at the same time w/o them knowing about each other (re: playing folks), they will ever be able to be in a monogamous and honest relationship? OR do you think that they will always have trouble being with just one person.

of course.

The real question is emotional maturity, not opportunity. Whether we're just casually dating or dating "with a purpose," eventually most of us reach a point in life where we're ready for a relationship deeper and more meaningful than anything we may have had before. At that point, a "mature" man will walk past 1,000 available women to reach the woman who touches his heart.

[Confucius]

Originally posted by TonyB06
of course.

The real question is emotional maturity, not opportunity. Whether we're just casually dating or dating "with a purpose," eventually most of us reach a point in life where we're ready for a relationship deeper and more meaningful than anything we may have had before. At that point, a "mature" man will walk past 1,000 available women to reach the woman who touches his heart.

TonyB06, well put. But until a man reaches that point in life; men are only as loyal as their options.

[starang21]

dating multiple people makes someone a player?



i figure that's just keeping options open.

can't put all your eggs in one basket when you're single.

[preciousjeni]

Originally posted by starang21
dating multiple people makes someone a player?



i figure that's just keeping options open.

can't put all your eggs in one basket when you're single.

I think it's the dating multiple people without them knowing about each other.

[starang21]

Originally posted by preciousjeni
I think it's the dating multiple people without them knowing about each other.

they don't have to know.

it's none of their business.

i don't see the point in letting them know about each other unless feelings begin to progress.

[preciousjeni]

Originally posted by TonyB06
of course.

The real question is emotional maturity, not opportunity. Whether we're just casually dating or dating "with a purpose," eventually most of us reach a point in life where we're ready for a relationship deeper and more meaningful than anything we may have had before. At that point, a "mature" man will walk past 1,000 available women to reach the woman who touches his heart.

Absolutely, TonyB06.

I'm a "reformed player" myself. I was all about the conquest but I grew up and realized that real life isn't that way. I'm in a strictly monogamous relationship currently. I credit God's intervention 100%.

[James]

I'm not sure I would consider this description a player . . .

This sounds like social dating to me, which I believe is pretty healthy. It allows a person to get a lot more romantic experience, meet new and interesting people, and build a mental database on what is actually out there and how different people and behaviors compare to each other.

I think in this case, and I don't mean to put words in your mouth, you are using the word player to describe a man that is good with women but sees women more as commodities and as a way of keeping a kind of social score with himself.

This as opposed to someone that might just have really good social skills, be attractive to members of the opposite sex, and sees casual dating as good fun.

Now will he stop being that way? Yes and no.

While he is really into you he should cleave to you exclusively. So as long as you have has interest all is good.

However, I have noticed that the purpose of labeling a relationship as "committed" or "engaged" or married even, is to keep the other partner in the relationship when they are no longer as interested as they used to be.

Otherwise we wouldn't need labels right?

I think in that case the "player" will be more likely to leave you or cheat because . . well they just have that option.

They have that option because they are attractive to memebers of the opposite sex and have dated easily enough thats mostly effortless for them. To them dating isn't a big effort in and of itself.

So to summarize, I believe that you would have no trouble with a player as long he is in-love with you. But a player will be much quicker to leave or stray if he falls out of love . . . .

Originally posted by lovehaiku84
Always a Player?

This goes for both males and females. Do you guys think that if someone has a history of dating several people at the same time w/o them knowing about each other (re: playing folks), they will ever be able to be in a monogamous and honest relationship? OR do you think that they will always have trouble being with just one person.

[preciousjeni]

Originally posted by starang21
they don't have to know.

it's none of their business.

i don't see the point in letting them know about each other unless feelings begin to progress.

Hmmm...I disagree. I think if you're going to be talking to different people, you should let them know that you are not looking to be exclusive. It's only fair.

[starang21]

Originally posted by preciousjeni
Hmmm...I disagree. I think if you're going to be talking to different people, you should let them know that you are not looking to be exclusive. It's only fair.

but it should be known. when i first begin to start dating someone, that person should never assume anything. it's none of their business. that's how folks get hurt, by assuming their the only person that their new someone is talking to. unless it's explicitly known, and discussed anything goes.

[ShamikaT]

Originally posted by preciousjeni
Absolutely, TonyB06.

I'm a "reformed player" myself. I was all about the conquest but I grew up and realized that real life isn't that way. I'm in a strictly monogamous relationship currently. I credit God's intervention 100%.

I'm a "reformed player" too. But then I became a Christian last spring. If yall don't already know, God looks down on players. Yall should ask him to repent to avoid dem hell fires. Also, women of good quality, such as me, completely look down on that mess.

[Dionysus]

Originally posted by ShamikaT
I'm a "reformed player" too. But then I became a Christian last spring. If yall don't already know, God looks down on players. Yall should ask him to repent to avoid dem hell fires. Also, women of good quality, such as me, completely look down on that mess.

What did God do that was so bad, and why should he repent?

We repent, and He forgives.

[ShamikaT]

Originally posted by Dionysus
What did God do that was so bad, and why should he repent?

We repent, and He forgives.

Thank you very much for your lesson. Ain't this like the third or fourth time you corrected me? I suggest that you get off of my tail, and MIND YOURS. You betta find someone else because there will be no womens riding ShamikaT's tail.

[Dionysus]

Originally posted by ShamikaT
Thank you very much for your lesson. Ain't this like the third or fourth time you corrected me? I suggest that you get off of my tail, and MIND YOURS. You betta find someone else because there will be no womens riding ShamikaT's tail.

Get over yourself. There aren't ANY men who wants to ride your nasty "tail", let alone any other woman.

Hey, how was your Thanksgiving?

[OrangeMoon]

^^LMAO hecks naw.