Help!

[aquafina]

Hi guys, I'm in a bit of a jam and I hope you guys can guide me in the right direction. This is going to be long. Here's my story:

I started college at a large state university (state) in the fall of 2003. I went through recruitment and was initiated into a national sorority (lets call it XYZ). I loved my school, loved my pledge class, and absolutely adored everything about my sorority. Unfortunately, in the spring of 2004, due to extenuating circumstances, I had to transfer to a smaller school without as large a greek system as the college I had previously attended, in order to be closer to home. There was no chapter of XYZ at my new school, and that was fine. I had way too much going on in my personal life to even think about getting involved in something as time consuming as a sorority. Aside from that, I was well aware of the NPC rule that states you can't be initiated into more than one group, and I really didn't want to anyway. I missed XYZ and desperately wanted to return to state U.

Unfortunately, as the semester went by I realized that it would be impossible to return to state. I still kept in touch with the sisters of XYZ through im/phone, but it wasn't the same as having a physical sisterhood. I checked out the alumnae group of my sorority, but everyone was a college graduate and I was not. I wasn't even 21 at the time so I couldn't go to happy hour or really relate to the sisters who were closest to my age (they had careers, were getting married, etc). Anywho, I started hanging out with some girls at my new school who were members of local sorority (lets call them ABC) with a rich history and all was well. They bidded me and I accepted. They had no problem with the fact that I was a member of a national and I was thrilled that I would finally have a sisterhood like I had state. Albeit, the sorority wasn't as large as the one at state, but that didn't matter. I had a wonderful time becoming a sister of ABC and I became a really active member in the sorority. I was elected onto the executive board as soon as I was eligible.

Flashforward to Spring 2005, it was about a year after I had been initiated into ABC when the chapter decided that IT wanted to go national after so many years of being a local. I was shocked and disappointed. I had a 1/26 shot of being able to go through initiation and ritual with the rest of my sisters in ABC. Knowing that I was a sister of XYZ and that the only way I'd be able to participate was if we became XYZ, the president of ABC contacted XYZ headquarters and told them that they were interested in becoming a colony. I also wrote a letter to XYZ talking the chapter up and saying how I could be of assistance because I am an initiated sister of XYZ. Unfortunately, XYZ was not interested in colonizing at my school due to our chapter's smaller size. I was crushed.

ABC continued to look for a national and eventually three came to present for us. They chose DEF. In the fall they will be going through the pledging/new member process and I won't be a part of it. Unless... the girls said they "wouldn't tell" anyone that I was an intiated member of XYZ and that if I wanted, I could go through the process with them. I don't know what to do. I loved my short time spent at XYZ and I don't want to renounce my membership, but at the same time I feel closer to my sisters in ABC than I do with the sisters of XYZ (probably because my active membership of XYZ was short-lived) and I just don't know what to do. When ABC goes national I (probably) won't be able to go to formal chapter(depending on how it's set up, at XYZ I wasn't allowed to attend formal chapter until after I was initiated), ritual, and be privy to something that they'll all share. They said that I can still hang out an do all activities with them, but I know it won't be the same. Do you guys have any advice?

I know what the right thing to do is, but my heart is telling me something else. Ahhhhhh.