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  #1  
Old 04-11-2003, 08:06 PM
NinjaPoodle NinjaPoodle is offline
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Cool Adult Learning Center Taught By Women For Men

ADULT LEARNING CENTER TAUGHT BY WOMEN FOR MEN

** Classes for MEN at our local Learning Center For up by April 25th.

Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents,
each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants each.

TOPIC 1 - HOW TO FILL UP THE ICE CUBE TRAYS. Step by Step with slide presentation.

TOPIC 2 - THE TOILET PAPER ROLL: DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion.

TOPIC 3 - IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE TECHNIQUE OF LIFTING THE SEAT UP AND AVOIDING THE FLOOR/WALLS AND NEARBY BATHTUB?
Group practice.

TOPIC 4 - FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER AND THE FLOOR.
Pictures and explanatory graphics.

TOPIC 5 - THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: CAN THEY LEVITATE
AND FLY INTO THE KITCHEN SINK?
Examples on video.

TOPIC 6 - LOSS OF IDENTITY: LOSING THE REMOTE TO YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER.
Helpline support and support groups.

TOPIC 7 - LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING.
Open forum.

TOPIC 8 - HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH.
Graphics and audio tape presentation.

TOPIC 9: REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST.
Real-life testimonials.

TOPIC 10 - IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation.

TOPIC 11 - LEARNING TO LIVE: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MOTHER AND WIFE.
On-line class and role playing.

TOPIC 12 - HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION.
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

TOPIC 13 - HOW TO FIGHT CEREBRAL ATROPHY: REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO
BE LATE.
Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.

** Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
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  #2  
Old 04-11-2003, 08:08 PM
MoxieGrrl MoxieGrrl is offline
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Hahaha...this is great, NinjaPoodle! Thanks for posting!
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  #3  
Old 04-12-2003, 12:05 AM
NinjaPoodle NinjaPoodle is offline
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  #4  
Old 04-12-2003, 12:53 AM
James James is offline
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I won't dignify this post with more of a response lol
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  #5  
Old 08-30-2004, 06:19 PM
NinjaPoodle NinjaPoodle is offline
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ttt
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  #6  
Old 08-30-2004, 06:40 PM
wrigley wrigley is offline
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NinjaPoodle that list made me laugh.

Good job

I'll suggest a topic for the next session.

Topic 14
The art of gift giving. Or why giving appliances and power tools as gifts for Valentine's Day will get you a night of sleeping alone.
-Learn the difference between good, better, and best gifts for all occassions. Learn why it's always good to ask for a gift receipt.

Last edited by wrigley; 08-31-2004 at 03:02 PM.
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  #7  
Old 08-31-2004, 01:19 AM
CatStarESP4 CatStarESP4 is offline
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Funny and Cute!

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Growing Strong Since 1995!

The Trolls have taken over the Asylum!
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  #8  
Old 08-31-2004, 12:36 PM
XOMichelle XOMichelle is offline
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funny stuff. I like the "group practice"
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  #9  
Old 08-31-2004, 01:47 PM
James James is offline
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A little turn-about:

Women think they already know everything . . .
But training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:

Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
Parties: Going Without New Outfits
Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
Introduction to Parking
Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
Water Retention: Fact or Fat
Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
TV Remotes: For Men Only
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  #10  
Old 08-31-2004, 01:58 PM
ZTA1806 ZTA1806 is offline
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This is great! I'm now sitting at my desk giggling, resulting in curious stares by passers-by in the hallway. This may cause my regular psych exam to be moved up a bit.

May I suggest a class for the men:

Topic 15 (if 14 is gift giving): The Art of Admitting Wrongness, or, Not Always Having to be Right.
duct tape for the mouth provided to help more challenged students to keep from arguing wrong answers.
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  #11  
Old 09-01-2004, 02:15 PM
NinjaPoodle NinjaPoodle is offline
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Good one James
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