I empathize with your parental love issue. I mean no disrespect with what I'm about to say, but I am soooooooo glad that my father was in my life and I had a chance to see how a real Black man acts and takes care of his family!!!
But I meant to email you a Bible verse because it specifically addresses your situation with your father. There are several verses in "Proverbs" and in "Philippians", "Colassians" and both books of "Timothy" relating to what you are going through as the child. I need to get them for you. But I basically understand all these verses to mean, "Honor thy Mother and Father"... And even if a parent walks out on you, you still love them for I (Jesus Christ) will never foresake you and you can rely on the True and Heavenly Father... So, your real Father is better that my earthly dad!!!

(I still love my Diddy, but I know who my real Father is, too)
Just to let your know that all the hairs on your head have been counted...