An "Ex" Issue - Need Advice

[prayerfull]

Ladies - I need some good advice. I apologize IN ADVANCE because this is a really long story.

First, I must state that I am happily married to a wonderful, fine, CHRISTIAN man. We have 2 happy and healthy children. My husband and I are tight - intimately, emotionally, etc. We are a family unit that includes God First in everything that we do.

Now, here's my situation:

Last year, my father passed away. My "first love" (we dated for 4 years - my last two years of high school & first 2 years of college) has kept in touch with my parents on a very regular basis over the years. My father has been a really important role model in his shaping his life.

We broke up way back in 92. So, when my father passed away, I needed to get in touch with him to let him know. He is an officer in the army. He's married and also has 2 children. He lives on the east coast, I'm on the west coast. I hadn't spoken to him since we broke up - 8 years ago. I had looked through my father's rolodex to locate his phone number, but only found an address. So, I went ahead and wrote him a letter and sent him my father's obituary and funeral program.

Anyway, he called me immediately after receiving it and we talked for a while and ended the conversation with the whole "keep in touch" deal. I'm thinking that meant "hey, I'll send you & your wife a xmas card from me and my husband every year".

After that conversation, my direct line in my office starting ringing everyday with phone calls from him. Then, more than once a day. Then, I'm answering the phone and the first thing he says is "tell me why I can't stop thinking about you".....

Last month, he was sent to Kosovo. He'll be there until May. I was thinking, this will be good because now the phone calls will subside. PSYCHE! I got a call when he had a stopover in Germany on his way to Kosovo. Now, in Kosovo, I generally get calls about 4-5 times a week. Oh yeah, he's sending me letters (to my office). I've received about 10 letters in the 6 weeks that he's been there! Today, I received a letter that I just had to put away and not even read after I got to the second paragraph. He needs to be sending that stuff to his wife - not me.

The conversations have definitely been inappropriate for two married people (not married to each other, that is) to be having. I have to admit that I too am guilty of taking those conversations somewhere they should not go.

I decided I needed to take this problem to God and pray on it. I'm not trying to start some kind of affair here. I don't want to break up anyone's family - nor mine. Yes, this is someone who I had deep feelings for at one point in my life and in some way, I'll always have some feelings for him. I know this is not right in God's eyes.

Ladies - what do I do? How do I stop this before it goes to far. I need suggestions - like what to say to him. I can't ignore him or not answer my phone. If you don't have any suggestions, then please just pray for me.