Breaking up: Tell them whats wrong with them?

[James]

I noticed two basic break up patterns. I am sure there are more.

1. As the relationship disinitegrates you start fighting more and tearing eachother up until one of you can't stand it anymore . . and then bang.

2. As the relationship fades one of you starts getting indifferent . . calling less . .. becoming less attentive. . . until someone can't take it anymore and then bang.


Ok I used to be number 2 in high school . .. and then i realized that relationships were as much about actions as feelings. So even if you feel less you should still behave well towards the other person . .. be romantic and sensitive until you absolutely don't want to be with that person anymore.

However, this had wierd side effects: What it meant is that i didn't give any clues before a break up. None. I was just as sweet and romantic at the end as at the beginning.

So then we just would . . cut it.

And they would always want to know whats wrong . . . and I wouldn't tell then because it just seemed cruel. Why would I list someone else's faults? Who am I to do that anyway? I am far from perfect. So I would just cut contact cold turkey.

So to sum up: I was attentive and romantic to the break-up minute. I gave no reason except it wasn't working out. And then I cut contact.

I have been told by girl-pals that that is wrong. That I should tell someone what is wrong with them . . .

So anyway . . what do you guys think?