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my bf a lush
Okay, so here is my story...
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 yrs. Ever since we first started hanging out he has been a drinker. At first I was into it too (i was having fun, experiencing college, going clubbing, ect.). We would go out and/or drink any day of the week no matter what was going on. But, as our relationship progressed and we became closer, we stopped going out and partying as much. The thing was that he still seemed to drink just as often (3-4 nights a week). For a while I just thought of it as: "hey, he's a young college guy who just likes getting drunk; its not like there's anything else exciting going on."
Now, it's not the fact that he gets drunk, but the behavior that I have to deal with when he is drunk. (don't worry he doesn't get abusive or anything) He just gets really difficult to handle. Most of it is typical drunken behavior like slurred speak, general horny-ness, easy to get into an argue, that kind of stuff. But there is other stuff like resentment when I have to help him into bed (get undressed), or that he wants more to drink (doesn't want to be cut off or better yet, doesn't know when he should be cut off), or helping him get to the bathroom (so he doesn't wet himself while he's passed out, which has happened numerous times). Most of the time he doesn't remember anything that happened after a certain point or he'll have a feeling that something not so good happened the night before but not exactly what.
We've talked many times over our relationship about his drinking and have never reached any solution. I don't feel its my place to tell/make him stop (a - he's got to want to on his own b - I don't want him to resent me in any way). He has made fleeting effort to cut down on the quantity he drinks (i.e. purchasing beer instead of hard liquor, or saying he'll only drink on the weekend), but it never lasts long. This past November after a public incident at my sorority function I suggested that we go to a counselor on campus. We saw her for about 4 sessions (once a week) during which he stopped drinking. After those sessions where over he slowly started to drink again claiming that as long as he controlled the amount of beers (buying a six pack instead of a case) that it wouldn't be a problem.
And now it's 1am and I just put him to bed after I watched him pee on my floor (didn't quite make it on time) and I知 asking for help. Basically I知 at the point when i hate helping him after he's gotten himself drunk. I don't think that it fits into the job description of long time girlfriend. I love him and we have talked about taking another step in out relationship (getting engaged), but I cannot see myself doing this for my "husband" night after night. When I picture married life this does not fit.
Please feel free to offer any advise, comments, or personal stories that may help. (or feel free to tell me that I知 whining to much)
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