TSM article: Sorority Life from the Outside

[KSUViolet06]

A collegian forwarded this to me yesterday as I typically do not read TSM. Not quite sure what the young woman in the article's point is, but her honesty is interesting.

http://totalsororitymove.com/confessions-of-a-gdi/

[ThetaPrincess24]

I'm not sure the point either other than regretting maybe not trying to go Greek her first semester (assuming that was possible on her campus)? She makes herself sound like a hermit in her room her first semester.

[UVA17]

Poor thing; that was really depressing But surely there are other clubs she could join on her campus. I hate to think of her sitting by herself eating Ramen noodles and watching television for the rest of her college career. Not being sarcastic, that really makes me feel bad.

[greekdee]

That made me sad. I did like the editor's note, though. That was very encouraging and I do hope the author will go out for recruitment again, if it's an option.

[KSUViolet06]

I think it's easy for Greek peeps to be like "Awww, there's so much other stuff to get involved in though! I hope you find something" not realizing that if you went through recruitment, you were looking for a sorority experience. There aren't any comparable experiences for those who are unable to modify their expectations of the type of experience they want.

Ex: You cannot go into say, Alpha Phi Omega still expecting your experience to be like ZTA or Chi O. You have to be willing to be like "ok, I'm not going to be in an NPC, but this org offers this OTHER sort of experience and I'm willing to join knowing that it's going to be different from the sororities, and that's ok."

[33girl]

If she was rejected by the whole Greek system at a small and (I'm guessing) fairly noncompetitive school and it's still upsetting her this much, she probably needs to make a new start and transfer.

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by 33girl

...it's still upsetting her this much, she probably needs to make a new start and transfer.

Bingo. I mean, yes, I loved my time in a sorority. However, I joined as a sophomore and made friends my freshman year. Did she not have a roommate, floormate, dormmate, or classmate to ever hang out with during that first term? That first paragraph weirded me out a touch. I hope she finds her place, where ever it may be, but I feel like she is placing too much weight on sorority life to make her have friends.

[KSUViolet06]

^^^^So many times, people say "There's nothing else to do here. Everyone's greek." That is rarely, if ever, true. But that line is what drives people to do things like sit in their rooms, do nothing, and assume that the only thing to do on campus is be Greek and that there are no people outside of GL to hang out with.

[Phigirl04]

That whole article made me feel sad for the girl who wrote it. It sounds like someone who is uncomfortable in social situations so I doubt going through rush again would help. I hope I'm wrong but the first paragraph just sounds so sad.

[sigkap216]

This girl is a great writer, she really has a way with words! However, I was really struck by how much she focused on the materialism that admittedly often accompanies Greek life--the stickers, the t-shirts, the lavalieres, the tote bags. Sure, that's part of being in a sorority. It kind of made me feel like she longs more for the image of what Greek Life is rather than the bonds of sisterhood.

[KSUViolet06]

^^^^Right! I noticed that too. Granted I LOVED those things when I was going through COR at 19 (and enjoyed buying them in undergrad), that wasn't the reason for my interest.

[*winter*]

Poor girl. Hope she can get past it and make some friends. College is too amazing to spend sitting in your dorm room!

[SLAM<3 Always]

I didn't join a sorority until my 4th out of 5 years. No one who joined a sorority their freshmen year can understand what that's like, just like how the author and I couldn't understand what it is like for anyone who joined their first term. I would deactivate my FB during recruitment week at my university because it really does make everyone else feel like an outsider. As much as I can relate to her, it's difficult to explain to what the real message of the post was about. I've tried explaining it on GC more than once and usually fail at it.

[KSUViolet06]

^^^I can see how you would, but the difference I see is that you were probably not interested until that point, and when you became interested, you got one. This young lady did not get a bid.

I find it sad that she reportedly goes through social media every year looking at Greek things (although it's hard to avoid if all of your friends are Greek.)

This sort of thing probably has a lot to do with who she surrounds herself with. If she had some non-Greek friends, I bet this would start to seem less important to her.

[aephi alum]

Wow.

If she spent her first semester "alone in my room, watching some stupid movie I’d seen hundreds of times", that is probably part of the reason she was cut. It sounds like her school has deferred recruitment. That means you pretty much have to get out and socialize and get to know sorority members during fall semester - otherwise the only thing the chapters have to go on during membership selection is maybe 20 minutes of superficial conversation during a round 1 party. (I'm guessing she didn't bother with recs.)

Since she says "Year after year", I'm guessing that she's closer to the end of her college experience than the beginning - if she hasn't already graduated. Even if she rushed today, it's not likely that she'd get a bid - her class standing would work against her, and if she's continued to be a hermit, that would work against her as well.

And, like sigkap216 pointed out, she does seem focused on the superficial - having lettered tote bags and lavaliers - as opposed to actual bonds of sisterhood. I guess what they say is true - "from the outside looking in, you can never understand it".