Getting More Involved

tea&krumpets · #1 08-12-2014, 11:26 PM

Hi ladies! I'm going into my junior year (which is very hard to believe!) and I've decided that I really need to re-commit myself to my chapter, and my sisters. I was moderately involved my freshman year, and got to know the girls in my pledge class really well. I met my absolute best friend on Bid Day, and we've been inseparable ever since.

This past year, my sophomore year, my goal was also to get more involved, but at the last minute the day of chapter was changed from what it has traditionally been, and that change conflicted with another extracurricular I am very passionate about -a faith based organization. Same day of the week, same time, same duration of the meeting. During the fall semester I rotated each week, so that I went to chapter every other week. Whenever I was at chapter, I wanted to be at the other, & vice versa. I was trying for the best of both worlds and it wasn't quite working.

Spring semester the balance was more in favor of the faith based student group I am a part of. It was a conscious decision I made (though a tough one), because while I love my sorority and the girls in it, God/my faith is the #1 most important thing in my life, and the weekly meetings really fulfill me spiritually. I am calmer, happier, more in touch with God, etc. after these meetings. Add in the fact that my core group of best friends are outside Greek life (the girl I mentioned above is in this group as well), I felt very out of touch with my chapter, and my sisters, by the end of the school year.

So, basically, what I'm asking is: how do you/did you balance other extracurriculars and friends outside of Greek life as an active member? I'm taking on a leadership role in the faith-based organization this year, so that might throw a wrinkle in things too.

Thanks in advance!!

SoCalGirl · #2 08-13-2014, 12:44 AM

Are your chapter meetings still going to conflict with your other org?

AOII Angel · #3 08-13-2014, 12:52 AM

You have to choose. You can't be a part time member of a sorority. Meetings are critical to being involved and connected to the group. Missing half of the meetings wouldn't fly in most chapters. You made a commitment to your chapter, but it sounds like you are more interested in your involvement with the other group. In the end, it comes down to what is more important to you, but you can't do both.

tea&krumpets · #4 08-13-2014, 01:03 AM

Just to clarify, we haven't received our day for chapter yet from the university, but our president told us to plan as if it were the same as last year. I was on special status last year, due to this situation, and will be again this year, but I was really trying to avoid having to make such a final choice. I love my sisters immensely, and I know others on here have talked about being involved in more than just Greek life, so I was hoping for some insight into how they managed that!

LAblondeGPhi · #5 08-13-2014, 11:18 AM

It can be challenging when you can't make the weekly meetings, but I don't think it's the only way you can better connect with your chapter. Speaking from my own experience in a housed chapter, some of the best bonding happened during recruitment preparation, really involved activities like being a dancer for Spring Sing (required weeks of practice), and some of the more involved philanthropies. In my chapter, attending Monday night dinner and meeting was only about 15% of the opportunity to bond with sisters.

Do you have a chapter facility, house or suite? Spending more time physically there during the day (lunches, to study, etc.) is a great way just to be near your sisters and get to know them better.

If you don't have a chapter facility, are there regular study hours, lunches together or movie outings that your chapter does together? I'm not closely familiar with a lot of unhoused chapters, but the one I did work with would have regular lunches together in the main school cafeteria.

What about school sporting events? Does your chapter get a group of women together to attend those?

What other events does your chapter participate in? Sisterhoods, philanthropy, socials. Are you attending most of those? I find that sisterhood events, philanthropies, and school spirit events are best in order to get to know your own sisters. Socials are always fun, but it's a different kind of bonding.

Are there committees or positions you can take in the chapter? Being on a committee might be better for you, time-wise, rather than taking a position.

Is your best friend still an active member of your chapter and share any of your concerns about re-connecting? Maybe she can help. You two can start a bible study group for your chapter, or see if anyone else is interested in a weekly lunch to hang out outside of chapter meeting.

If all else fails, you could always try reconnecting with individual sisters in your chapter. I find that when I start reaching out to women around me to hang out, they invite me out in return, which means you could be getting more of those casual invitations to dinner or shopping or outings with groups of sisters that you might be missing now. But, if you decline most of those invitations, they tend to stop coming.

I hope this helps. I bet there are tons of ways to get back involved, but it will take some effort and time on your part. Going to chapter might be the easiest way to do it, but there are plenty of other ways.

DGTess · #6 08-13-2014, 11:59 AM

I'm not really certain you haven't already made your choice. It sounds as if you've made the choice to let this other group be priority #1, and you want to fit your sorority in around that. I don't see that as re-committing to the sorority. What do you mean by recommit?

tea&krumpets · #7 08-14-2014, 04:18 PM

Thanks for the help ladies! Especially LAblondeGPhi - lots of excellent suggestions. We don't have a house, suite, etc, which would definitely make it easier, but all of the other things you suggested I can definitely do. I think I knew that I need to do those things all along, but you verbalizing it helped me realize it.

DGTess - I can't deny that the other group is priority #1 (as I said, God comes first, always, for me.) However, I don't think that means I have to disaffiliate from my sorority. My sorority is most certainly #2, and not a distant #2. I guess what I mean by recommit is making more of an effort to go to all those things LAblondeGPhi mentioned. This past year, once I wasn't going to chapter as much, it was really easy to just not go to those other events, or make excuses like working on homework (true, but still). Chapter, once set by the university, is not movable, so I'll alternate every other week again if its on the same day as my other meeting. But by recommit I really mean going to all those extra events, because I feel that's where most bonding with sisters really occurs.

LouisaMay · #8 08-15-2014, 10:25 AM

I believe that you can make both work. Your sorority experience might not look like anyone else's experience, but it doesn't need to! If I were you, I would work on making your sorority experience narrow rather than broad. The chapter meeting is broad; working on a committee is narrow. Attending formal is broad; having coffee (or tea...love your screen name) with a different sister or two every Sunday night (for example) is narrow. See what I mean? You've made a mature choice. You know what you need, and you are doing it. But that doesn't mean that you are going against your promise to support and commit to your sorority. Think about the aspects of sorority where you can have an impact and zoom into those.

Best of luck to you! I wish more students knew how to evaluate priorities and make adjustments as needed. It sounds to me like you have a lot to give to both organizations.