Question about informal recruitment

[kim90]

Hi!!

I have transfered to my new school and have a question about informal recruitment.
Since I am a little older than the normal pledge student, I think it is my last change to get a bid in this spring semester through informal recruitment.

I've already heard, that this should be less stressful than normal recruitment, because I don't have to go to every chapters house, but my question is, if the time after getting a bid, so the pledge time, will be different in spring than in fall, because the pledge class consist of only one or two people?
How long does it take until I will become an official sister when I do informal recruitment?

As a last, I have heard from one sister, that there are mandatory weekly meetings, usually on weekends and if I don't go I have to pay a fee. Is this right for every sorority? I will definitely want to go to most of the meetings, because that's the reason I want to join a sorority, but there will be maybe one or two weekends in a semester, where I will visit friends in another city, and when those mandatory meetings are every sunday, I would need to pay the fee of 75 usd to be able to visit my friends.
Is it normal that no excuse will count for not attending a meeting, even it's just once or twice in a semester?
I know, I should probably ask this question to the sorority where I want to pledge, but my friends told me, they'll get offended by this question and it is likely that I won't get a bid by asking such things.

So I really hope someone here can may help me to understand how this sisterhood really works.

Thanks for every help!!

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by kim90

Hi!!

I have transfered to my new school and have a question about informal recruitment.
Since I am a little older than the normal pledge student, I think it is my last change to get a bid in this spring semester through informal recruitment.

I've already heard, that this should be less stressful than normal recruitment, because I don't have to go to every chapters house, but my question is, if the time after getting a bid, so the pledge time, will be different in spring than in fall, because the pledge class consist of only one or two people?
How long does it take until I will become an official sister when I do informal recruitment?

As a last, I have heard from one sister, that there are mandatory weekly meetings, usually on weekends and if I don't go I have to pay a fee. Is this right for every sorority? I will definitely want to go to most of the meetings, because that's the reason I want to join a sorority, but there will be maybe one or two weekends in a semester, where I will visit friends in another city, and when those mandatory meetings are every sunday, I would need to pay the fee of 75 usd to be able to visit my friends.
Is it normal that no excuse will count for not attending a meeting, even it's just once or twice in a semester?
I know, I should probably ask this question to the sorority where I want to pledge, but my friends told me, they'll get offended by this question and it is likely that I won't get a bid by asking such things.

So I really hope someone here can may help me to understand how this sisterhood really works.

Thanks for every help!!

I am afraid that I got really, really lost in most of your post. From what I am able to figure out, the reply is that no one can tell you if you will be fined for missing meetings. Every chapter of every sorority is different. Organizations do have mandatory events. How they deal with girls who fail to show up is different for everyone.

Seems like you need to decide how important it will be for you to join and fully PARTICIPATE in sorority life. Life is all about making the choices that are best for you.

[WCsweet<3]

Generally the time between getting a bid and being initiated is the same for an informal pledge class and a formal pledge class. The new member time period is (to the best of my knowledge) set by (inter)nationals. So if the sorority has a six week new member period for their formal recruitment pledge class, it will also have a six week new member period for the informal recruitment pledge class.

Being fined for missing meetings is set by chapter, not necessarily (inter)nationals so we can't really answer that question for you. Some sororities may allow excuses to be sent in such as not being able to make it for work or class. Going out of town to visit friends isn't really something you can't get out of. If the meetings are Sunday evenings, why not return in time for the meeting?
There are probably mandatory events that are required for a new member to attend to be initiated, however this may vary as well based on sorority.

I know, I should probably ask this question to the sorority where I want to pledge, but my friends told me, they'll get offended by this question and it is likely that I won't get a bid by asking such things

You can't get definite answers from asking strangers on the internet who may or may not be familiar with your sorority or chapter. While we have representatives from almost every NPC sorority, things can vary from chapter to chapter. While I know what happens at my chapter in Oregon, those chapters in Texas probably do things a touch differently.
Asking about new member meetings shouldn't cause anyone to be offended. It is a pretty normal thing to ask. However, if you sit there and say I want to see my friends and don't care if I have to be here, that might send the message that you don't care.

[kim90]

Thanks for both answers!

Just to clarify my statement, I take sorority meetings (mandatory or not) for important and I definitely will attend most of them. Otherwise it would not make sense to join a sorority.

I know that being in a sorority is something for life and not just a hobby, but I guess everyone would agree that I had or have a life before I will maybe join a sorority.

As I understood it, the sororities also want their sister to be involved in other clubs, activities and so on.
What I want to say, of course it would mean to me so much being in a sorority, but I will not abandon the friends I already have.
Of course I would try to schedule my appointments in a way which would allow me to get both, meetings with the sorority and seeing my friends in other cities. But I don't have a car, so I need to rely on public transportations and I'm not the one who is doing the bus/train schedule.

And again, it's not like, I will prefer my old friends over new friends in the sorority. But I don't think it is too much to ask for, to see my friends once or twice in a semester...

But when I understood you right, it would not offend them, when I ask in general how much time I should expect being with the sorority?

[sigmagirl2000]

Originally Posted by kim90

Thanks for both answers!

Just to clarify my statement, I take sorority meetings (mandatory or not) for important and I definitely will attend most of them. Otherwise it would not make sense to join a sorority.

I know that being in a sorority is something for life and not just a hobby, but I guess everyone would agree that I had or have a life before I will maybe join a sorority.

As I understood it, the sororities also want their sister to be involved in other clubs, activities and so on.
What I want to say, of course it would mean to me so much being in a sorority, but I will not abandon the friends I already have.
Of course I would try to schedule my appointments in a way which would allow me to get both, meetings with the sorority and seeing my friends in other cities. But I don't have a car, so I need to rely on public transportations and I'm not the one who is doing the bus/train schedule.

And again, it's not like, I will prefer my old friends over new friends in the sorority. But I don't think it is too much to ask for, to see my friends once or twice in a semester...

But when I understood you right, it would not offend them, when I ask in general how much time I should expect being with the sorority?

Asking what the time commitment will be is a completely reasonable and responsible question to ask. Also, most if not all NPC sororities require that the calendar of required events be provided to new members and members by the start of the semester, so that you should be able to plan the rest of your life. This is not to say that events can't be added or changed, but it would be helpful in a situation like yours. Good luck!

[33girl]

Your pledge time is very important. If you had a weekend job that was necessary $wise to you staying in school, that would be one thing. But to visit friends? You can't skip leaving town for 6 weeks? That's kind of a red flag imo.

[kim90]

@ 33girl

I am not talking about the 6 week pledge time... I was talking about the time when I am an official sister

[AZTheta]

Membership in a sorority is voluntary; it comes with responsibilities, requirements, and obligations. If you are struggling so much with this issue of attendance prior to recruitment, you might want to reconsider. Honestly, it sounds to me like you want to partially participate, essentially when it is at your convenience. If you're willing to accept the consequence of being fined for missing a mandatory meeting or event, that's one thing. But consider your participation overall, and weigh that against what you have been saying, and what you're truly willing to do. All of us have had to make choices and sacrifices at times.

[DubaiSis]

You're getting too far ahead of yourself. Your chapter may not even have meetings on weekends, and if they do, it's probably Sunday evening, not Saturday afternoon or anything.

Go to the rush events, ask questions about scheduling if that's important to you, and be open to the answers. Sororities don't expect or even want their members to have their entire lives revolve around the sorority. But there is an expectation that through college your sorority is a BIG part of your life. If it's something that you think you will participate in once a week, you probably aren't meant to join. You can realistically expect 2 or 3 times per week EVERY week to have something to do with your sisters. Some things will be optional, some things will be required but you can get out of if your excuse is important enough and some will mean your badge.

Different chapters have different requirements where it applies to socials/mixers/exchanges (whatever your campus calls official parties with fraternities), date parties, and sisterhood events. But meetings, rush prep and rush are pretty much deal breakers unless you have a VERY good reason. Class would be a good reason. You're in the hospital is a good reason. I have an out of town social life is not a good reason.